# Ladies: does it upset you when a server shows too much cleavage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987 "2006-01-28T14:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/21 "2006-01-28T19:59:33Z")
Didn’t the U.S. go to war to ensure the freedom of the rack? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/22 "2006-01-28T19:59:37Z")
As noted, looking attractive…which can include showing some skin…is part of what waitresses do, and part of what get them tips. And bending over tables is also part of what waitresses do. So… On the other hand if she was being really obvious about it…well, flirting with someone who’s in a couple in front of said other person is rather rude. Whether you’re doing it for recreational or economic purposes. Although I doubt that was what happened. ---
**Author:** ![marymargaret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@marymargaret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marymargaret)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/23 "2006-01-28T20:00:41Z")
It wouldn’t offend me in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/24 "2006-01-28T21:56:48Z")
I really don’t think there is such a thing as “too much cleavage.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/25 "2006-01-28T21:58:15Z")
It depends on the location (not of her boobs, but the restaurant). When we go to the pub, the girls all dress skanky and I don’t care. When we go to a nice restaurant, I don’t want to have someone else’s cleavage staring me in the face. Now, while we’re talking about cleavage, what is it with Catherine on **CSI** and what’s-her-face on **House** who dress like cheap hookers while doing very professional jobs? Has this become appropriate all of a sudden? (Good one, **Bryan**. I mean, bad one. You know what I mean. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/26 "2006-01-28T22:02:16Z")
You know, I didn’t think there was either, but there’s been this commercial playing lately for some weight loss center. This girl is so ecstatic with her ‘after’ self, she’s damn near got navel showing! It totally cracks me up every time I see it, instead of thinking “oooh, sexy” all I can think is that she’s probably sagging so low she needs a waist deep V-neck to hit cleavage, bless her heart. FTR, nah, doesn’t upset me in the slightest. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/27 "2006-01-28T22:13:12Z")
Personally, I’m not interested in regularly going to restaurants with a high cleavage factor. You only get so much for your money, and I’m there for the food. If there happens to be cleavage, I’m unlikely to get bent about it, but do agree that a waitress who flirts with the male half of a couple is rude and asking for trouble. One thing to keep in mind is that in a situation where cleavage is being openly displayed by the waitress and admired by the men, there really are only so many ways for a woman bystander to react. I can definitely relate to wishing I weren’t in that situation. What if I want one of the guys to pay attention to me? What if I’m trying to keep my relationship with these guys strictly business? If she is interested in joining into a sort of bawdy group flirt, then that’s cool, but if that’s really not in line with her personality, what should she say? Nod and smile, smile and nod? It’s sort of along the line of introducing a topic of conversation that is of great interest to most in the group, but completely excludes someone. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/28 "2006-01-29T00:04:13Z")
It bugs me when waitresses wear skintight pants. I keep on expecting one to bend over to pick a falln napkin off the floor and hear a resounding ‘RIPPPPPPP’. I mean, there’s wearing fitted pants, and then there is one step away from cameltoe. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/29 "2006-01-29T02:17:32Z")
> [@melondeca](#): > > \It is sad that flashing a bit of boob increases tips.\ As I guy, I always figured it was the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/30 "2006-01-29T02:28:16Z")
I’m far more likely to be pointing it out to my husband than to be offended. Scenario: We go to a bar and the busty waitress serves us our drinks. I say, “OMG! Did you see her shirt? It’s open down to there…quick look she’s walking this way!” He says, “Huh? What? I was watching the game” (or playing with his Blackberry phone thing or whatever). I ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/31 "2006-01-29T03:23:08Z")
> [@furthur](#): > > Only if a boob fell out into my salad or something. > > Mrs. Furthur " Excuse me ma’am, there’s a boob in my salad" " No extra charge !! " 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/32 "2006-01-29T03:47:16Z")
I wouldn’t be offended or upset. I’m not really a boob woman, but I appreciate nice cleavage, so I’d probably be looking too. Short uniform skirts or shorts, though…perhaps we won’t go into that. Maybe I should start going to Hooters. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/33 "2006-01-29T04:24:02Z")
She has to look at my cleavage so I don’t mind anyone looking at hers. They are likely looking at mine, too. I’m not getting tips, but cleavage makes my husband happy. He likes mine because they live at his house. Cleavage for everone! ---
**Author:** ![LVBoPeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/858c86/32.png) [@LVBoPeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVBoPeep)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/34 "2006-01-29T04:44:08Z")
Hi all, I’m with the gals that would be enjoying the view also- plus being blessed with ample cleavage myself, I appreciate those who can use it to their advantage. This all reminds me of a conversation I had with a couple of my coworkers. Both girls were quite a bit younger than me- one is straight up like a rail, the other is built similarly to me, very curvy and a bit heavier but she’s very attractive and personable. The straight as a rail girl, who also has attractive looks (blonde, pretty eyes) and was just eighteen- while the other girl was just over 21 or so. The straight up girl mentioned that her mother, after she had kids, went from being small breasted to (I doubt that big) “huge” after she had kids and “they never went back”. For this reason, she never wanted kids. The curvier girl and I both gave her a hard time about that- our point being that you get more free drinks with a little (ok, in my case I must admit, in my SO’s words “giant”) cleavage. My boyfriend does enjoy porn, which probably bothers me slightly more than if he describes a girl as “hot” or takes a long look. But at least he tells me about the porn, whereas I keep quite of bit of the stuff I think or fantasize about to myself. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/35 "2006-01-29T06:53:50Z")
It wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact, I sort of like boobs. Furthermore, if I was with a SO (I’m currently single) I wouldn’t care either. I was out to dinner with a boyfriend once at a Morocan restaraunt and they had a belly dancer in. She pulled him up, wraped her scarf around his neck and shimmied, massive boobies and all, up and down him for a while. I didn’t mind, 'cus it just meant he was really randy when we got home after. Also, boobs are nice and fun and bouncy. Who wouldn’t want to see them? ---
**Author:** ![mrald](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mrald](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrald)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/36 "2006-01-29T07:19:34Z")
As a married female, that has a _very_ small chest, I tend to get my feelings hurt if my husband glances at other boobs. (Granted he is an ass man and boob glance is rare). I am more offended also by tight pants, I have only recently learned the term “camel toe” eww ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/37 "2006-01-29T07:21:15Z")
I wouldn’t be -offended-. She’s just taking advantage of her own body and if it makes more money, all the better for her. We’re all evil capitalists at heart. But, to play devil’s advocate, we’ve got enough pig men as is, and there’s a part of me who’s not all too thrilled having women encouraging this pigginess out in the open. Devil’s advocate. Please go gentle on the flames. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/38 "2006-01-29T12:07:42Z")
Upset is too strong a word. I would be mildly (privately) contemptous of said woman. IMO, it’s cheap and obvious–that it works is indeed sad, but understandable. I don’t actually see young women doing this–I see older (near 50) women doing this–and it’s usually leathery skin etc. It’s just nasty.Perhaps I live in conservative-suburban-world (Agh!), but I just don’t see young women doing this, much. I see them with alot of what my mother used to call midriff exposed, but no plunging cleavage. Re the small breasted woman who didn’t want kids d/t her getting big breasts. Stupid reason to not want kids (it may not happen to her, afterall), but I am also someone who has never wanted large breasts. I liked being an A cup when I younger and like my size now. Why would someone be encouraged to change themselves just to get attention baffles me–but it’s a common thing these days. OK, wandering OT, sorry. To answer the OT–I am not a big tipper anyway, and the amount of cleavage wouldn’t impact on my tip. If she is making moves on my husband (which I doubt, most women in customer service like this are fairly shrewd PR people–even if the PR is their own tip takings!)–I would be pissed–at my husband. Most likely, he would be eating it up. Why, no-we don’t go out for drinks much. Why do you ask? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/39 "2006-01-29T14:01:09Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Why, no-we don’t go out for drinks much. Why do you ask? 😉 –innocent gaze-- Not even to a local [Milk Bar](http://www.theresposh.com/NMB/trips/TPOW24/TPOW24_shop_1.jpg) ? ( work safe ) 😉 The display thing, yeah. Me, I am so definitely a boob guy. Do I find it a bit tacky to be the focal point of severe cleavage? Yep, when with family. Even if with friends, if the server is being too forward or tacky ( or out and out slutty ) then it irks me greatly. If she’s built in a curvy ample way and is dressed to work it, as they say, then more power to her. But to me, the sexiness comes from self-confidence a lot more than it comes from size and any gal with awareness and self-confidence will dress to show off her endowments, and act in a completely professional manner. THAT… is sexy. To me. YCCMV Cart(\* v \*)niverse ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/40 "2006-01-29T14:02:24Z")
I’m going to hell for that, aren’t I? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987.md?page=3)