# Ladies: does it upset you when a server shows too much cleavage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987 "2006-01-28T14:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/61 "2006-01-30T22:28:38Z")
I have tiny A-cup boobies. I’m disappointed that they stopped growing when I was oh, 15. So I don’t mind looking at boobies. I don’t care if the boyfriend looks at boobies, either. If I saw some guy with an obvious massive erection or something, you’d better bet I would be staring. And me and the boyfriend would probably be lauging about it together. ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/62 "2006-01-31T10:22:22Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I think the rapist comment is a tad overstated and all, but really–is it courteous to constantly check women out? It has little to do with courtesy - it’s automatic. I can no more not appreciate a cleavage that crosses my line of sight than I can look at a word without reading it. As a matter of courtesy I _will_ avoid overtly looking, tracking with my eyes or turning into a cartoon wolf and howling, but being oblivious just isn’t going to happen I’m afraid. Note that **Hypno’s** admirable policy is clearly in conflict with his instincts! ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/63 "2006-01-31T12:30:33Z")
Would it upset me generally? No. Would it upset me specifically if the lady in question was thrusting said cleavage in my husband’s face? Yes, mind you, I’d probably just rub my own against his arm to re-focus his attention and that would be the end of that. I’m bigger than average in the boobie area, and Lord knows I’ve only got a few years left before pregnancy, gravity and breastfeeding take their toll, so I’ve worn my fair share of tight and low tops while I still can. I don’t generally notice people looking though- either I’m beyond oblivious, or too hideous for the big boobs to be worthwhile eye candy. Knowing men, it’s probably the former. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/64 "2006-01-31T15:20:06Z")
Having seen your wedding pictures, and having a fairly large chestal area myself, the guys are definitely all looking. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/65 "2006-01-31T16:08:29Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > … the now defunct _JoAnne’s Chili Bordello_, where the waitresses dressed in corsets and garter belts… Defunct? 😕 How did that happen? From the description, you’d think they would have a loooong wait list every evening. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/66 "2006-01-31T19:32:58Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I think the rapist comment is a tad overstated and all, but really–is it courteous to constantly check women out? Or the other way, for all that. Aren’t you there to eat dinner with friends/dates or whathaveyou? Why not do that instead of thinking of having sex with the waitress–you know you’re not going to. (1)People go to places like Hooters specifically to check out the waitresses. Sadly, I’ve never been to a Hooters. ☹ (2)It’s highly likely (okay, it is a 100% probability) that the waitress and I won’t hook up. But the day I stop fantasizing is the day that one should just put a bullet in my brainpan. I’m already dead. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/67 "2006-01-31T19:57:53Z")
> [@matt](#): > > . As a matter of courtesy I _will_ avoid overtly looking, tracking with my eyes or turning into a cartoon wolf and howling, but being oblivious just isn’t going to happen I’m afraid. Note that **Hypno’s** admirable policy is clearly in conflict with his instincts! I know. I should have been more specific. IMO, discretion is all. I may notice my hot waiter, complete with nice ass and great smile, but my tongue doesn’t hang out and my eyes don’t glaze over etc. That’s all I’m saying. Now, will I tip him more because I find him attractive? Not really. Cute is as cute does–and he needs to be a good server for me to up my tip. Re Hooters–why would I go? And why would I go with my husband? I have no interest in buffalo wings served by wannabe Playboy bunnies. Just sayin’. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987/68 "2006-01-31T23:31:34Z")
> [@mrald](#): > > As a married female, that has a _very_ small chest, I tend to get my feelings hurt if my husband glances at other boobs. I’m (sort of) with you on this one, **mrald**. I’m too insecure about this topic to ever be really comfortable in the presence of big ol’ jahoobies. On the other hand, I realize it’s _my_ hang-up, so I try to cope with it. In other words, if I caught my husband looking at something that just _has_ to be looked at, I’d get my feelings hurt, but I wouldn’t say anything to him. On the other hand, we went to a restaurant the other night and had a great time laughing at some girl we saw who was apparently running for Mayor of Skanktown. She had giant knockers and was wearing something that resembled a handkerchief tied on with a ribbon. I’d have felt more threatened by her boobage if it hadn’t been hanging down to her lap. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-does-it-upset-you-when-a-server-shows-too-much-cleavage/341987.md?page=3)