# Ladies: Don't Ask Me To Rub Your Shoulders Or Back **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2011, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882 "2011-02-02T12:03:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/1 "2011-02-02T12:03:42Z")
I can’t do it without gettin’ major wood.:eek: I don’t _know_ why!!! It just happens and it doesn’t matter _who_ the female is - my wife or just a friend or cow worker. When I worked in the ER of my last hospital, I’d get asked to do this whenever things got “quiet”, and oh lord, the first couple of times were soooo embarrassing. After that, whenever I’d get asked, I’d say, “Hey, come here a second. I need to tell you something…” **This** happened: ⭕o:o:o, along with several **OMG’s** said with cupping hands over mouths… Well, what was I _supposed_ to do??? 😃 Q ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/2 "2011-02-02T12:10:51Z")
Heh. I used to be able to say the word “condom” over the phone to my husband to give him a similar situation. Didn’t work in the flesh oddly - don’t worry there were other methods. Last week I was the first of the girls to ride the mechanical bull. I told the operator to throw me off quickly so as to encourage the other girls to try to do better. I had to throw myself off after a couple of bucks of that thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/3 "2011-02-02T12:30:56Z")
Am I missing something here ? If a female asked me to give her a back rub, I would suspect that there might well be an ulterior motive, that had nothing to do with the state of her back. Any women who DID ask for a backrub without realising its sexual connotations would have to be incredibly naive; unless she thought that you were gay. I think maybe that the women who asked for this weren’t actually the naive ones. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/4 "2011-02-02T12:34:23Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > major wood.:eek: At your age? Are you complaining or bragging? I would think “minor wood” or “something resembling a wood-like substance” would be an accomplishment. Actually, “Major Wood” isn’t a bad user name. If my name were “Wood,” I’d have to consider turning down a promotion to Liuetenant Colonel. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/5 "2011-02-02T13:55:15Z")
I’d be more unnverved by the fact your company employs articulate cows, than what’s happening in your pants to be honest… ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/6 "2011-02-02T14:05:05Z")
At least it’s not Norwegian Wood. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/7 "2011-02-02T14:11:34Z")
There’s something skeevy about men that go around giving unrelated women backrubs, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/8 "2011-02-02T15:00:29Z")
I don’t ask for back/shoulder rubs because, IME, if you _have_ to ask, the guy isn’t very good at it and won’t really do the knots in my neck justice anyway. The only thing worse than a limp-wristed, low-pressure, bad massage is receiving bad head. And I don’t want anyone touching me in the workplace anyway. Totally inappropriate. For me, massage = foreplay. That’s just how I’m wired. And **Quasi** , it works the same way for me. Don’t ask me for a backrub unless we’re both already nekkid and I get to flip you over and ride that thang. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/9 "2011-02-02T15:40:27Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > I can’t do it without gettin’ major wood.:eek: > > I don’t _know_ why!!! It just happens and it doesn’t matter _who_ the female is - my wife or just a friend or cow worker. My guess: the little inadvertent pleasure-moans they let out while you’re rubbing their shoulders. My wife does it all the time. Sounds very sexual. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/10 "2011-02-02T17:15:38Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > I can’t do it without gettin’ major wood. Me neither. Guess I’ve never had enough sex. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/11 "2011-02-02T21:14:22Z")
To further explain: These are coworker nurses with whom I had been acquainted for 10 years or longer. I just happened to be the male present at the time. Any one of us guys could have been asked without it being “meaningful” in any way other than “can you help me get this knot out of my shoulder?” Even so, I can’t do it without that special “biological change”. 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/12 "2011-02-02T22:50:49Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Even so, I can’t do it without that special “biological change”. 🙂 > > Q Okay, that’s just bragging. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/13 "2011-02-03T03:55:39Z")
Unless he were a paid massage therapist, I wouldn’t ask a guy to give me a backrub unless I _wanted_ him to get wood. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/14 "2011-02-04T15:04:34Z")
Any time I have to apologize to a woman, I get like 50% chubby. This Pavlovian training comes from years of being married or in LTRs. Anytime I would argue with my SO, it would always end with an apology, then sex. I wonder if other guys have this problem? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/15 "2011-02-05T02:00:42Z")
I had a classmate once with shockingly ugly legs. From the hips up, she was fine, but from the thighs down it looks like something bad happened to a ziploc bag of blue cheese. I’m going to give you the same advice I gave to her: “Two words: ugly hat. If you get a huge ugly hat, nobody will ever notice your legs.” ---
**Author:** ![F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.Pu-du-he-pa-as)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2011, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/16 "2011-02-05T04:03:47Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t know why!!! It just happens and it doesn’t matter who the female is - my wife or just a friend or **cow worker**. I dunno man, you really have to watch out for those [cow workers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gopi). (The Wikipedia article doesn’t mention it, but Sanskrit literature that describes them, like the Gita Govinda, is really not subtle.) ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2011, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/17 "2011-02-05T04:16:49Z")
Yeah, **man**. I see what you mean! 🙂 Apparently I misspppppelleed something, huh? 😉 And you’re pointing it out to me with that link? Well I sure **do** appreciate it! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-dont-ask-me-to-rub-your-shoulders-or-back/569882/18 "2011-02-05T15:16:48Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > There’s something skeevy about men that go around giving unrelated women backrubs, anyway. If you’re talking about _unsolicited_ backrubs, I’d have to agree with you, but you really need to add that qualifier, and anyway that’s absolutely not what the OP’s situation is. He was talking about being _asked_ to provide a backrub and being reluctant to do so.