# Ladies; Ever get a creepy PM from a fellow Doper? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 23, 2013, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952 "2013-08-23T10:39:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/41 "2013-08-23T16:27:37Z")
I had one creepy Pm from a fellow doper who did not like something I posted. I assume he was drunk at the time as I never heard from him again. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/42 "2013-08-23T16:29:38Z")
It’d also make for uncomfortable “So, how’d you two meet?” conversations. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/43 "2013-08-23T16:32:39Z")
nope ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/44 "2013-08-23T16:35:05Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > I had a Doper send me an unsolicited video of himself jerking off, complete with the money shot. :eek: Must’ve been compelling if you watched all the way to the climax. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/45 "2013-08-23T16:39:06Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Here? Or on a different board? The racist one? It was here. And you don’t need to get all 150,000 members to post “not me”. Just the men! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/46 "2013-08-23T16:50:36Z")
Male here: 1. I am an idiot. I had about 20 PM’s before I even knew there was such a thing as a PM! Quite embarrassing to have to go in and answer PMs that had been sitting there for ages! 2. All of them have been quite nice and friendly - asking questions about Las Vegas or Berlin or about something else I might have posted. 3. Currently unemployed and somewhat upset about the fact - I had a nice Doper offer to lend me some money! Holy crap! I declined, but it was so touching and meant so much that it really did make my day and got me to get off my ass and start looking and submitting more resumes. 4. One interesting story - I sent a PM to someone who had missed a final episode of a TV series…I was able to make a copy and offered to send it. They gave me their address and I sent it. Months passed and I sent a PM and asked how they liked the show. I got a curt (somewhat nasty) answer that they never received anything. Then - about a YEAR later, I get a PM from that person who said the DVD just showed up in their mail box that day. 5. Most people know me well enough on this board - I don’t think there is enough alcohol and drugs in the USA to get anyone to send me any lewd come-on’s…despite me claiming to look like Brad Pitt in his younger days, too many Dopers have met me in real life and know that is, uh, somewhat of an exaggeration. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/47 "2013-08-23T17:08:45Z")
Nope. Have gotten a couple “how YOU doin’?” like **Silver Fire** , that I never responded to, but that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/48 "2013-08-23T17:11:32Z")
Once a brand-new member with zero posts PMed me about putting me on his “LA based” talk show to talk about a family incident I’d posted. Didn’t respond to that one and was tempted to report him. Nothing squickier than that, though. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/49 "2013-08-23T17:16:59Z")
I’ve had several “friendly” PMs from men, but none actually creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/50 "2013-08-23T17:17:44Z")
None for me. I want to know who sent the money shot too! ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/51 "2013-08-23T17:23:05Z")
Nothing creepy-as-in-sexual from men, although it seems like a lot of people get my gender confused here so the creepers may very well think I’m a guy. I DID get creepy-as-in-unbalanced PMs from someone, a woman, too. There was a thread/debate/discussion on things that I weighed in on, as having had some direct experience in the area. She, for reasons known only to her, decided she should “debate” me (I use that term loosely) in PMs instead of the thread. My only guess is that she didn’t want the criticism of her “logic” that would come with airing it openly. In any case, she repeatedly and insistantly accused me of doing things which I’d already said in the thread, in response to her accusations there, I’d never done. And she told me I was wrong (I wasn’t), and made some stunningly, laughably ignorant arguments to try to convince me. I’m still not sure if she actually believed what she was saying or was just hoping I was that ignorant as to believe her. I told her if she wanted to debate she could post in the thread, but she ignored me, so I stopped responding. At least she ran out of steam at that point. > [@Shakes](#): > > I love the ones you get on Facebook. Some top heavy woman will send me a friend request. I always turn them down, but before I do, I’ll click on her friends list to see how many of my dumnass friends actually accepted her request. I’ve been getting those on FB too, and anyone with eyes to see my profile pic can see I’m pretty obviously female. I’m always bemused by this. They’re always brand-new dummy accounts, too – no friends, they’re “following” only one or two accounts, no info aside from a profile pic which I assume was scraped off the web somewhere. I’m really hoping “money shot” guy got banned for that. We need to hear the end of that story! ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/52 "2013-08-23T17:24:37Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Must’ve been compelling if you watched all the way to the climax. That’s awfully presuming of you. It could have been a 5 second clip… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/53 "2013-08-23T17:27:56Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > That’s awfully presuming of you. It could have been a 5 second clip… 😛 Oh, \*\*VinylTurnip \*\*knows for sure. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/54 "2013-08-23T17:41:33Z")
Wow, I feel really left out. I’ve only gotten one PM here and it was a very kind, supportive one. I don’t get anything weird on FaceBook. I must have terrific spam filters. NOTE: No need for anyone to PM me just to make me feel better! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/55 "2013-08-23T17:48:39Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Oh, \*\*VinylTurnip \*\*knows for sure. Memory’s hazy, but if it didn’t conclude with abject weeping, it wasn’t me. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/56 "2013-08-23T17:57:31Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > I had a Doper send me an unsolicited video of himself jerking off, complete with the money shot. :eek: Come on, man, you won the thread! Tell us! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/57 "2013-08-23T18:07:04Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I wonder if anytime one our female Dopers says anything remotely sexual on this board, does that pretty much guarantee she is going to get a couple of creepy PMs? Yes, but those honestly aren’t nearly as creepy as many of the others you get. Guys you’ve never spoken word one to offering to buy you stuff, offering to fly you out to be with them, asking you for sex and relationship info like you’re an old friend (“What’s your favorite position?” type stuff). > [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > I had a Doper send me an unsolicited video of himself jerking off, complete with the money shot. :eek: I’ve received something similar, along with a few random dick pictures over the years to my email address associated with this account. That stuff never comes (heh) in PM, only via email. It’s less common now than it was, say, 5 or so years ago on the board. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Memory’s hazy, but if it didn’t conclude with abject weeping, it wasn’t me. Ha! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/58 "2013-08-23T18:12:54Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > That’s awfully presuming of you. It could have been a 5 second clip… 😛 If so then that guy has some goddamned stamina. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/59 "2013-08-23T18:17:02Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > If so then that guy has some goddamned stamina. Well…He could be camera shy… ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952/60 "2013-08-23T18:18:49Z")
I should note that while the sexual ones are creepy, as a woman, I kind of expect that nonsense. What’s weirder than that are things like this, which is a PM I got from an active member a few months ago (and did not respond to. . . because what the hell?). For the record, this particular member is notorious for harassing female Dopers, including sending one of them a bunch of weird, manic sounding messages on her private Facebook (they aren’t friends). Seriously though, what do you say to something like this? > [@](#): > > Dio, > > You are Cool. You are Tech Savy. You have NO love of Stalkers. Dio, I need advice & I need it badly & fast. I could throw this out on the board (and eventually i may) but I Need help / advice/ and from someone who has been here a Real Real long time (so I sort of know you are a Real poster & not one of this person’s accounts). > > Fine, I’m crazy. I’ll put this as a Skald Hypothetical: > > Lets say that, for whatever reason, you have Pissed Off a rich and powerful person (owner of a production team/company?). Lets say that while they seem normal/functional, that are so bat-shit-crazy that they make Amanda Bynes look like Sonia Sotomayor. > > Lets say hypothetically that they are based in CA and that I live a long ways from there. Lets say that there has been camera surveillance from people using the papparazzi style of driving next to me & taking pictures… and possibly a few (small) car chases. > > Lets say that what I search on my PC in the privacy of my home shows up to be thrown back at me on another website within 24hrs. Lets say that information is way too accurate, right down to the subject of a dirty story that I read online and discussed with No One, to be a coincidence. > > Lets say that someone even let slip the exact shirt (color & style) that I was wearing while I was on-line, when I hadn’t yet stepped outside that day. Lets say that my PC has no cam (I’m guessing that some sort of cam (I don’t own one) would have to be around my room somewhere). > > Lets say this person has DEEP POCKETS and can afford this crap…and is famous/powerful enough to have a system in place within the the system to harass people “Cape Fear” style as close to within the limits of the law as possible. > > Lets say that this person is no stranger to restraining orders, but has flipped the issue in the past on other people as the bad guy or as “fans”. > > Lets say that there is at least a husband/wife involved; that they have two kids, so if it went against them, CA social Services might have to be involved. > > Lets say that they have a morals contract on their main money-making gig. > > Hypothetically, I would just want them to go away, but they just aren’t taking “go jump in the lake” as an answer. > > 1. Are there any CA laws being broken? > 2. Are there any Fed laws (over state lines?) being broken? > 3. Does a man of little or no means have any recourse civilly? > 4. Are there any “Dirty Trix” (Perez Hilton?) to make these people go the-feck away? > 5. Assume that a TSCM sweep costs about about $800 and that no money exists to pay for that in budget. > > Hypothetically… any suggestions advice? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-ever-get-a-creepy-pm-from-a-fellow-doper/666952.md?page=4)