# Ladies, how aware of penises are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2010, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580 "2010-09-04T07:37:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/41 "2010-09-05T22:44:25Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > > [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > > > It’s actually not BETWEEN, you know - it’s attached slightly in front. > > Well, I know. But when they sit…I suppose if you grow up with one, you know how not to sit on your balls, but I’m rather clueless about the mechanics) You know, I asked this in one of the IMHO threads about things you don’t know about the opposite sex, and was told that it’s really hard to sit on your balls because they are on top of your lap when seated, not betwixt your legs as we imagine. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/42 "2010-09-05T23:02:37Z")
I once had a similar thought when I was baby shower gift shopping: everyone I see has passed between a woman’s legs. Bizarre thought. (and then I couldn’t stop thinking it. For the whole afternoon I kept thinking about it and then forgot about it until I read this thread). The wonder shown by the OP begs the question: what did you expect half the population to have instead? How are dangly bits odder or more unique than inside bits? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/43 "2010-09-06T02:29:17Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > > [@WhyNot](#): > > > > Well, I know. But when they sit…I suppose if you grow up with one, you know how not to sit on your balls, but I’m rather clueless about the mechanics) > > You know, I asked this in one of the IMHO threads about things you don’t know about the opposite sex, and was told that it’s really hard to sit on your balls because they are on top of your lap when seated, not betwixt your legs as we imagine. I have not really considered this, but am about to wake my boyfriend up to ask him searching, disconcerting questions. (“So, can you _walk it into things?_ Can you pinch it all by flopping down onto a couch? Could you please draw a diagram with vector indicators?”) ---
**Author:** ![Doody\_Pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@Doody\_Pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doody_Pants)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/44 "2010-09-06T02:45:56Z")
I think about them a lot because I have two young sons and a younger daughter, and they are constantly discussing who has a penis and who doesn’t. When I am at work I listen to satellite radio and hear the commercial for Fresh Balls a hundred times a day. Just from those commercials balls sound like a real hassle… Always sticking to things and getting stinky ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/45 "2010-09-06T03:38:51Z")
Sometimes I do randomly look at a male friend and realize he has a penis. (Not because he’s showing it to me or anything; just out of the blue.) On the other hand, I’m aware of my boyfriend’s penis almost any time he’s nearby. ---
**Author:** ![Elysium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3be4f8/32.png) [@Elysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysium)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/46 "2010-09-06T03:41:34Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I once had a similar thought when I was baby shower gift shopping: everyone I see has passed between a woman’s legs. Bizarre thought. (and then I couldn’t stop thinking it. For the whole afternoon I kept thinking about it and then forgot about it until I read this thread). Well, not ALL. Some were pulled out of a hole made into her lower abdomen. As for the OP, I definitely think about things like this at really inappropriate times, like in work meetings or parties. Also, realizing that most of those people also have sex. It’s sometimes really funny to me. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/47 "2010-09-06T03:52:22Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > > [@elfkin477](#): > > > > You know, I asked this in one of the IMHO threads about things you don’t know about the opposite sex, and was told that it’s really hard to sit on your balls because they are on top of your lap when seated, not betwixt your legs as we imagine. > > I have not really considered this, but am about to wake my boyfriend up to ask him searching, disconcerting questions. (“So, can you _walk it into things?_ Can you pinch it all by flopping down onto a couch? Could you please draw a diagram with vector indicators?”) Yes and sometimes. But most of the time everything just sits in our laps like a neat little package. Which is why I always have a much stronger reaction to the cat landing in my lap than my wife does. (She - the cat, I mean - does it on purpose, I swear.) Sometimes the boys can slip down between the thighs a bit - not painful or even uncomfortable, but I for one don’t like it, and will effect a discreet adjusment. We can also catch the tip of the schlong in the zipper. An exquisite agony. And I’m with **Inner Stickler** - I can’t imagine having boobs. Like walking around with two water balloons strapped to your chest. The very first thing my wife does when she gets home is to take off her bra, usually with a curse, so I know having to wear one is no fun. I love boobs, but I’m glad I don’t have 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/48 "2010-09-06T09:24:32Z")
I am very aware they have them. Men also have [del]poop-collecters[/del] I mean testicles. I have also been known to eschew seeing male strippers. If I want to see naked strangers I just go to work. Doesn’t matter what they look like now, they all look the same when you are putting an Attend on them. Mona Lisa Simpson, RN to the incontinent elderly. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/49 "2010-09-06T13:09:29Z")
Everybody I know has a buttcrack, but I’m not conscious of it unless they’re sporting a bad case of plumber’s cleavage; same with penises on clothed folk, which I don’t think about unless the owner does something to, ehm, put it forward as it were (whether it be by design, lack of thought or spontaneous reaction). ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/50 "2010-09-06T14:20:12Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Also, not _every_ man has one. Not even every man was born with one. Aw. That’s what I was gonna say. ---
**Author:** ![Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shinna_Minna_Ma)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/51 "2010-09-06T14:58:52Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Now, I don’t mean the penis or [penises](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2139/what-is-the-plural-of-penis) attached to men you’re interested in. I thought for sure this would lead to an **Ask the Man with Two Penises** thread. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/52 "2010-09-06T18:19:36Z")
The thought occurs to me at times, and it just completely disrupts whatever I’m trying to do. The worst is when it happens in a conversation. If the person I’m talking to is female and I know her well, I’ll honestly say “sorry, I just realized that the waiter has a penis, and I totally lost track of what I was saying.” Not so easy when I’m talking to a man, especially if it’s his own penis I just had an epiphany about. Very odd. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/53 "2010-09-06T18:22:03Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > The thought occurs to me at times, and it just completely disrupts whatever I’m trying to do. The worst is when it happens in a conversation. If the person I’m talking to is female and I know her well, I’ll honestly say “sorry, I just realized that the waiter has a penis, and I totally lost track of what I was saying.” Not so easy when I’m talking to a man, especially if it’s his own penis I just had an epiphany about. Very odd. In what way(s) is that thought disruptive? I can think of a few but don’t want to suggest the answer to my own question. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/54 "2010-09-06T18:27:26Z")
_coy look_ _Well…_ No, seriously, it never really crosses my mind. I mean–okay? Good for him? I hope it’s healthy and in working order? I feel like the girl in [this](http://xkcd.com/194/) xkcd comic now. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/55 "2010-09-06T19:07:26Z")
Oh. My. God. :eek: They’re _everywhere_! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/56 "2010-09-06T19:12:42Z")
If you really want to understand the difficulties they can sometimes cause, ask a trusted male friend to tell you about “vinyl couch syndrome”. They’ve experienced it. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/57 "2010-09-06T21:07:28Z")
What’s the plural of penis? Penii? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/58 "2010-09-06T21:26:11Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > What’s the plural of penis? > Penii? [Straight Dope Column on the topic](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2139/what-is-the-plural-of-penis). Yes, really. Short answer: penises or penes, the former if you’re speaking English colloquially, and the later if you’re a stuffed shirt pedant or medical professional or Latin scholar. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/59 "2010-09-06T23:46:39Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > What’s the plural of penis? > Penii? You know, I linked the the SD column on the proper plural in the very first post of this thread… ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580/60 "2010-09-07T02:53:21Z")
You don’t even want to think about what we do with them in private. Yeah, even the CEO. Yeah, even the President. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-aware-of-penises-are-you/552580.md?page=4)