# Ladies: How bad was this? (A slight cat call I guess) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552 "2013-02-16T22:52:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/1 "2013-02-16T22:52:07Z")
I’m in the grocery store parking lot. I’m busy loading groceries from the cart to my truck. As I’m doing this my son elbows me in the side and says: “Dad, check it out.” So I raise my head up and see two attractive women walking by us. Under my breath I said to my son: “Ooo, sexy Mommas” Well, I guess I spoke a little too loudly as one of them heard me and says: “_Excuse_ me?” I immediately apologize and tried to explain to her I was just messing with my son. Her parting words as she was walking away was “Way to be a role model to your son dude!” (My son went on to tell me what a smooth talker I was.) OK. I admit I was being rather juvenile with my son. But really, how bad was that? FWIW, I do and have always taught my son to b e respectful of women. That said ,there aint nothing wrong with looking. (As long as your not creepy about it.) ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/2 "2013-02-16T22:57:07Z")
Not bad at all. They overreacted. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/3 "2013-02-16T23:07:21Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Not bad at all. They overreacted. While it’s innocent enough, it just gets to be a drag to not be able to walk from point A to point B without being left alone. And then some men get really hostile if you don’t react the way they think you should so it can be a bit stressful. A while ago I was on a very crowded bus and a guy was trying to squeeze past everyone to get off. He put his hands on either side of my waist and said “Excuse me honey”. I said “please don’t touch me like that” to which he replied very loudly “why would I want to touch you, you ugly bitch”. He was right beside me and there was nowhere to escape - I really did think he was going to hit me. So the real problem isn’t the innocent comment, it’s that we don’t know what’s coming next, I think. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/4 "2013-02-16T23:24:31Z")
If it were me, I wouldn’t have said anything, but I would have rolled my eyes at you. How old is your son? If he’s under about 16 or 17, I would think it inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/5 "2013-02-16T23:26:24Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > FWIW, I do and have always taught my son to b e respectful of women. That said ,there aint nothing wrong with looking. (As long as your not creepy about it.) There isn’t anything wrong with looking, as long as you’re not gawking. Saying something, on the other hand, is bordering on disrespectful, even if the woman doesn’t hear it (imo). ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/6 "2013-02-16T23:30:00Z")
It’s a bit objectifying, but it could have been worse. I do understand why they took offense though… if someone did that to me I’d be a bit pissed too and given a colorful response back. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/7 "2013-02-16T23:31:13Z")
I’d have smarted off, too, but no biggie. I’d call it a draw. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/8 "2013-02-16T23:49:42Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > There isn’t anything wrong with looking, as long as you’re not gawking. Saying something, on the other hand, is bordering on disrespectful, even if the woman doesn’t hear it (imo). Saying you think someone is hot is borderline disrespectful even if they don’t hear you? This board is so confusing sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/9 "2013-02-16T23:54:54Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Saying you think someone is hot is borderline disrespectful even if they don’t hear you? This board is so confusing sometimes. I guess it depends on what’s said, really. “Wow, she’s really great looking!” is different then “I’d like to fuck that!”. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/10 "2013-02-16T23:55:07Z")
This is why we need to go back to wearing hats, so we can just smile, tip our hat, and be on our way. Plus, hats are cool. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/11 "2013-02-16T23:57:00Z")
Meh. Not _that_ bad. I wouldn’t have been offended. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/12 "2013-02-17T00:01:27Z")
I would have been bothered only because I wouldn’t have known whether or not you were being sincere or being mean. (Historically when a guy has whistled/commented at me, he was being mean. Now that I’ve l lost a shitload of weight and am no longer invisible, I don’t know how to read men.) If I knew you were being sincere, I’d have been flattered. Now … some guys are utterly disgusting and go way too far in situations like this and in those cases they deserve to be called on the carpet for it. I think women who get all offended and huffy over MINOR stuff (like the OP’s comment) are … well, bitches. Poor baby, you’re so pretty that a guy can’t stop himself from saying something when he sees you. Cry me a fucking river. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/13 "2013-02-17T00:23:30Z")
“Sexy Mommas” is not implying that you think the ladies are lovely. It’s implying that you want to f\*\*\* them. And not because of their scintillating intellect. And really, if your son doesn’t learn how to be a gentleman from you, who’s going to teach him? If the lovely ladies were also intelligent ladies with high self-esteem, do you think they would ever date your son after he acted that way? You’re bringing along the next generation of guys who will make my daughter uncomfortable just walking across a parking lot; and you’re handicapping him with the very sort of women you’d like to see in his life. So, yeah. Objectification + indoctrination = really pretty bad IMHO ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/14 "2013-02-17T00:27:32Z")
I’d consider it a roll eyes/give you the finger thing except for the fact that you brought your son into it. IIRC, he’s only 12, right? That IS creepy. Kids that age aren’t necessarily able to process yet between admiratioin and just being a sexist asshole. (Which I don’t think you are, necessarily) Next time, try to be a little more discreet. At the very least, avoid catcalls when your son is around! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/15 "2013-02-17T00:32:03Z")
My 17-year-old daughter yesterday told me how much it creeps her out when construction workers say stuff like that, and it kind of broke my heart a little. It’s disrespectful. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/16 "2013-02-17T00:35:55Z")
Ideally either Thelma or Louise would have busted a cap in your ass, thus teaching your son, and coincidentally you, a valuable lesson in sexual politics. But since that didn’t happen, he did learn that you are fallible and willing to apologize for any error you make. Nearly as good. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/17 "2013-02-17T00:44:00Z")
You are indeed a poor role model. You should be demonstrating to him how to ogle women _without_ getting caught. Seriously, you shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t that bad, but it certainly wasn’t good. Good on them for calling you out. Consider what messages you’re inadvertently sending to your son with this stuff. A guy can do some “looking” without being gross about it. p.s. next time, don’t get caught. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/18 "2013-02-17T00:44:53Z")
The OP’s question hasn’t been fully answered. Was the problem that he said,“Sexy mommas” at all, or that he said it loud enough for them to hear? Or was the problem that he said it in “collusion” with his son, and thereby was a bad role model, as one of the women suggested? Do we even know if he used the term ironically (in a tone recognizable as such)? If he had, would it have made a difference? ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/19 "2013-02-17T00:50:32Z")
As a catcall, it was about a C. As an example to your son, it was a D-. ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/20 "2013-02-17T01:10:42Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > The OP’s question hasn’t been fully answered. Was the problem that he said,“Sexy mommas” at all, or that he said it loud enough for them to hear? Or was the problem that he said it in “collusion” with his son, and thereby was a bad role model, as one of the women suggested? Do we even know if he used the term ironically (in a tone recognizable as such)? If he had, would it have made a difference? It’s that he was demonstrating to his son that it is okay to objectify women. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552.md?page=2)