# Ladies: How bad was this? (A slight cat call I guess) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552 "2013-02-16T22:52:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/181 "2013-02-19T06:24:12Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Hm. You’ve never heard two straight women call each other hot or sexy? Can’t say as I have. > [@](#): > > Can you look at men, or let’s say, movie stars and acknowledge that they are hot? Not really, no. > [@](#): > > Does that mean you want to fuck them? I can’t say that they’re hot precisely because I have zero desire to fuck them. > [@](#): > > I have a good friend who I think is very sexy. I really think he’s freakin’ hot. It is clear that women love him and he is very tall and fit and he just wears clothes so well. The idea of having actual sex with him is just, ugh. No. It would feel wrong. Point is, you can be hot without me wanting to jump your bones. I am strenuously, actively uninterested in learning that one of my platonic friends, let alone a parking lot stranger, thinks that I am “hot”. This applies whether or not they harbor any desire to “jump my bones”. Man, this reminds me of that “platonic spooning” thread. Different people have very different conceptions of “friendship”. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/182 "2013-02-19T06:26:41Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Ah, I see. I thought you meant that you felt she was over the top for mentioning his _parenting_ at all. You feel she was slightly over the top for mentioning his rudeness at all with her “Excuse me?” question. That seems unfair to me as you’re giving her a bit of the blame for his bad behavior. Certainly you’re allowed to disagree, no one said you can’t, I guess I just don’t understand it because he is the one who gave his unsolicited opinion about her physical being loud enough for her to hear. That’s asshole behavior and I can’t say someone is even slightly over the top for calling that out when it’s directed at them. I’m not blaming her for his bad behavior. Taken in context with _my own experiences_ as detailed when I said how I’d react, stopping to point out this exchange out seemed slightly over the top _to me_. And his “unsolicited opinion” is something we probably all do routinely when we think we’re out of earshot. I can’t get worked up over that. > [@](#): > > I admit I had to laugh at your tar and feathering comment. Nobody here is even close to insinuating that he is TERRIBLE for this so that’s just silly to pretend we’re at that level of outrage. In fact, most people who’ve said he did wrong are even saying they think it was not that big of a deal and that the sass she gave him back was about reasonable. I agree her sass was reasonable. As to my “tar and feather” comment, I suppose I could go back through this long thread to support my hyperbole that some of the opinions have painted him with a much harsher tone than you’re depicting, but I can’t be arsed. Lets just suffice it to say that there’s been at least two warnings for such things in this thread and leave others to judge it from that, eh? > [@](#): > > The nitpicking we’ve seen seems to be just your everyday version of the Straight Dope Semantics Olympics. Hell, we’ve even got **Ambivalid** giving his "let me post a bunch of stuff and then say n/m a couple of times™ move so I say we’re right on course. On this we can agree. I’m just happy to see that a group of people on here, like women, can present as a non-monolithic whole. Does me heart good. > [@maggenpye](#): > > Oh, right, you said she was over the top for mentioning it. > > In that case: > He only apologized to the women and spoke to his son because she mentioned it. It’s a bit disingenuous to give him credit for those responses while saying she was [del]overreacting[/del] over the top for mentioning it. Slightly. > > Better? Well, at least it’s accurate. However, I still DO give him credit for those responses, if for no other reason than I see people all the time (hell, on here it happens daily) not own up to mistakes when confronted and certainly never apologize. So, once more with feeling… It’s my opinion he was sincere. If you want to classify my _opinion_ of his actions as dose genius, knock yourself out. Considering I’ve explained myself twice now, I can’t see that it’ll be any skin off my nose if you choose to continue to believe otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/183 "2013-02-19T06:28:06Z")
And **Nzinga** basically says the same thing I did except with more panache. If there was a “like” button here I’d be wearing that shit out. ETA: One last thing and then I’m going to watch a movie: I pass no judgment on how the woman reacted or on any other women who feel compelled to react similarly. More power to them for standing up for themselves when they feel it’s warranted. I thought that was already clear, but fear it beared repeating. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/184 "2013-02-19T06:30:47Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Can’t say as I have. > > Not really, no. > > I can’t say that they’re hot precisely because I have zero desire to fuck them. > > I am strenuously, actively uninterested in learning that one of my platonic friends, let alone a parking lot stranger, thinks that I am “hot”. This applies whether or not they harbor any desire to “jump my bones”. > > Man, this reminds me of that “platonic spooning” thread. Different people have very different conceptions of “friendship”. How old are you? ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/185 "2013-02-19T06:42:06Z")
Aw hon, chill out. > [@faithfool](#): > > I agree her sass was reasonable. covered it. I will continue to believe it’s the \*only \*reason she got an eventual apology. And he still came here to have his actions validated (bad move, as it turns out). ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/186 "2013-02-19T06:50:53Z")
Ok - I cheated and only read page 1 & 4 of this thread: If your son knew you were joking - I don’t see this as hugely offensive, but what I think is offensive/rude is saying something to other people - or that can be overheard (and that haven’t done anything wrong). It makes ME uncomfortable when I’m out with someone and they say something rude about someone else - you shouldn’t do this. I don’t think it was intended to be rude, but it can’t escape your notice some (and not a small number) would find it so. If you misjudge the range someone can hear you (to the best of my knowledge I have never done this in my life) - then a little smart comment probably hurt your feelings as much as it made them uncomfortable is perhaps deserved. They could have been ruder in my opinion - and you started it 🙂 Really - I know this makes me a bad person - my other problem would be it wasn’t that funny. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/187 "2013-02-19T06:53:04Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Can’t say as I have. Wow, you should see my Facebook page. Pretty much every one of my female friends’ profile pictures is covered with other women (and basically never straight men) smearing it with “you’re so pretty!” “Wow, you’re hot!” “Sexy!” type comments. Which, honestly, is still probably endemic of social problems regarding women and the importance of their looks, but the point remains. ETA: Though for what it’s worth, I find platonic cuddling incredibly weird as well. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/188 "2013-02-19T07:00:38Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > I will continue to believe it’s the \*only \*reason she got an eventual apology. _Eventual?_ Even though in the OP he said, “Well, I guess I spoke a little too loudly as one of them heard me and says: “Excuse me?” I immediately apologize” There’s a \*substantial \*difference between **eventual** : taking place at an unspecified later time and **immediately** : without interval of time Do you have a more accurate or honest sense of the actual timeline than the OP? How did you come to select _that_ particular word? ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/189 "2013-02-19T07:05:31Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > ETA: Though for what it’s worth, I find platonic cuddling incredibly weird as well. Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/190 "2013-02-19T07:20:18Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > _Eventual?_ Even though in the OP he said, “Well, I guess I spoke a little too loudly as one of them heard me and says: “Excuse me?” I immediately apologize” > > There’s a \*substantial \*difference between **eventual** : taking place at an unspecified later time > > and **immediately** : without interval of time > > Do you have a more accurate or honest sense of the actual timeline than the OP? How did you come to select _that_ particular word? Whoah! Did I hit a nerve or a whole damned ganglion? Thanks for pointing this out so I can offer my \*sincere \*and \*heartfelt \*apologies. But I have an excuse - I was bonding with my kid. And there’s this message board where some people will back me up. But yeah, sorry and shit. He wouldn’t have apologised _at all_ if she hadn’t confronted him. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/191 "2013-02-19T07:37:50Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Whoah! Did I hit a nerve or a whole damned ganglion? Talk about hitting a nerve. > [@](#): > > Thanks for pointing this out so I can offer my \*sincere \*and \*heartfelt \*apologies. To who? > [@](#): > > But I have an excuse - I was bonding with my kid. And there’s this message board where some people will back me up. But yeah, sorry and shit. Sorry to who? > [@](#): > > He wouldn’t have apologised _at all_ if she hadn’t confronted him. Well, since you know this (and you’re probably right) can you answer the two simple questions I asked? One is only a yes or no and the other is not complicated. Do you have a more accurate or honest sense of the actual timeline than the OP? How did you come to select that particular word? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/192 "2013-02-19T07:57:10Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > You are indeed a poor role model. You should be demonstrating to him how to ogle women _without_ getting caught. > > Seriously, you shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t that bad, but it certainly wasn’t good. Good on them for calling you out. Consider what messages you’re inadvertently sending to your son with this stuff. A guy can do some “looking” without being gross about it. So as usual, a post early in the thread nails it, then everything goes in circles, but we still end up here. Look, I get it. Men ogle women. I can live with that, and I say this as someone who all-caps HATES catcalling in a way that fills me with rage that isn’t even close to reasonable, but I get that guys check girls out. Not a big deal. It’s a deal when they have to open their mouths about it. As has been said, you know, a trip to the grocery store isn’t a fucking chick safari. People (yes, women are people) just want to be able to buy spinach in peace without having the peanut gallery commenting on their looks. Look away, but people shouldn’t have to put up with the rude comment horse shit just for going outside. Yes, I know Shakes didn’t mean for them to hear, and no it isn’t the worst offense that there ever was, but the women should be high-fived for calling him out and for the parenting jab. Yup, your 15 year old boy is going to be checking out cute women for a long time, but that doesn’t make it okay to force that on other people, and to make them uncomfortable when they’re just trying to buy food. A pretty woman catching your eye = okay. Being an asshole about it = not okay. All right, there, I did it. I think I managed to post in a catcalling thread without going on She-Hulk on everyone. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/193 "2013-02-19T08:07:45Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > Talk about hitting a nerve. > > To who? > > Sorry to who? > > Well, since you know this (and you’re probably right) can you answer the two simple questions I asked? One is only a yes or no and the other is not complicated. Do you have a more accurate or honest sense of the actual timeline than the OP? How did you come to select that particular word? Because I read the thread and picked up on other posters’ versions rather than going back four freaking pages to the OP. As in life, there are so very few yes/no answers when it comes to communication. I apologise to the whole freaking universe. I mean that as sincerely as whoever reads it, wants to take it. Please do imagine me grovelling in humilityand shame. I’m sure you’ll feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/194 "2013-02-19T08:10:01Z")
Haha, what the hell is going ON in this thread. I nominate this thread for some of the most bizarre posts ever. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/195 "2013-02-19T08:11:25Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Because I read the thread and picked up on other posters’ versions rather than going back four freaking pages to the OP. As in life, there are so very few yes/no answers when it comes to communication. > > I apologise to the whole freaking universe. > > I mean that as sincerely as whoever reads it, wants to take it. Please do imagine me grovelling in humilityand shame. I’m sure you’ll feel better. Why are you so angry? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/196 "2013-02-19T08:14:47Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > Well, since you know this (and you’re probably right) can you answer the two simple questions I asked? One is only a yes or no and the other is not complicated. Do you have a more accurate or honest sense of the actual timeline than the OP? How did you come to select that particular word? I think post #190 with the apology means this person admits they were wrong for saying eventual when it was immediate. Are you going to keep up the OMG DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE TWO WORDS OR DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TIMELINES TO YOU SOME MORE freakout up much longer or can **maggenpye** possibly provide you with a pound of flesh for this horrible transgression of mistyping? ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/197 "2013-02-19T08:15:14Z")
Angry? Me and the kid are just about in tears with laughing at this thread. Mind you, I did side-track into an explanation of \*\*pchaos \*\*(mimes pissing all over the place) and the Athiest Agenda. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/198 "2013-02-19T08:31:11Z")
Man I fucking love this place. I’m only one page in so far and right when I thought it couldn’t get any better **Nava** mentions Spain. Keep up the good work everyone. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/199 "2013-02-19T08:56:21Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I think post #190 with the apology means this person admits they were wrong for saying eventual when it was immediate. I do not care about any apology, why would I want one? I only wanted to know why she chose a word that was _completely_ counter to the original post. And do you _seriously_ think “Thanks for pointing this out so I can offer my _sincere_ and _heartfelt_ apologies. But I have an excuse - I was bonding with my kid. And there’s this message board where some people will back me up. But yeah, sorry and shit.” was an apology? Seriously? > [@](#): > > Are you going to keep up the OMG DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE TWO WORDS OR DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TIMELINES TO YOU SOME MORE freakout up much longer or can **maggenpye** possibly provide you with a pound of flesh for this horrible transgression of mistyping? That’s a really accurate characterization of my post, I must say. Freakout. Do you _really_ think she mistyped rather than use a word that just put the OP in a worse light? ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/200 "2013-02-19T09:05:44Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > Do you really think she mistyped rather than use a word that just put the OP in a worse light? \*Now \*who’s ascribing motives without evidence? Do you have a more accurate or honest sense of the [del]actual timeline than the OP [/del] meaning I was going for than I do? Apologise! If you don’t care about the apology, why worry about how sincere it was? Pick one, yes or no! It’s a simple question with a simple answer. (Dear me, I feel should explain that; yes, I am mocking your previous posts), Seriously, thanks for the good laughs, because of you I really did bond with my kid a little bit over this thread. I am not angry, seriously. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552.md?page=11)