# Ladies: How bad was this? (A slight cat call I guess) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552 "2013-02-16T22:52:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/21 "2013-02-17T01:12:09Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > FWIW, I do and have always taught my son to b e respectful of women. That said ,there aint nothing wrong with looking. (As long as your not creepy about it.) Here’s a tip: being respectful of women includes keeping the thoughts you have when you look at them to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/22 "2013-02-17T01:13:08Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > The OP’s question hasn’t been fully answered. Was the problem that he said,“Sexy mommas” at all, or that he said it loud enough for them to hear? Yes, that was a problem. > [@](#): > > Or was the problem that he said it in “collusion” with his son, and thereby was a bad role model, as one of the women suggested? Yes, that was also a problem. > [@](#): > > Do we even know if he used the term ironically (in a tone recognizable as such)? If he had, would it have made a difference? “Ironically”? You mean that actually he was sarcastically implying that the women were, in fact, very unattractive? No, that would also be a problem. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/23 "2013-02-17T01:15:54Z")
Unless these women had their children with them, you don’t know for a \*fact \*that they were mommas. And as we all know, it’s important to catcall accurately. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/24 "2013-02-17T01:36:56Z")
> [@colander](#): > > “Ironically”? You mean that actually he was sarcastically implying that the women were, in fact, very unattractive? No, that would also be a problem. I say things like “I’d hit that” but I’m playing around but I also really do think the dude is attractive. Things don’t have to be either 100% serious or 100% sarcastic. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/25 "2013-02-17T01:38:12Z")
You should be asking how many women here would have walked away with what she said, in their minds, "Way to be a role model, guy! Though few would have said something, I’d wager most would indeed, been thinking exactly what she said. Seems more like your son is modelling behaviour for you. You’re the Dad already, condider modeling more evolved behaviour for him next time maybe. He really doesn’t need instruction in how to behave like a twelve year old, after all. On the other hand, well done on owning it, when you wre called on it, that was good! It’s not the end of the world, and kind of trivial I suppose. I just think you missed an opportunity to behave with dignity. Do you have any daughters I wonder? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/26 "2013-02-17T01:39:25Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > You are indeed a poor role model. You should be demonstrating to him how to ogle women _without_ getting caught. > > Seriously, you shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t that bad, but it certainly wasn’t good. Good on them for calling you out. Consider what messages you’re inadvertently sending to your son with this stuff. A guy can do some “looking” without being gross about it. > > p.s. next time, don’t get caught. Teaching a twelve year old boy that every expedition is a woman safari is not a great lesson in human interaction, but getting shot down was a pretty good example of how\* not\* to behave in the presence of women. ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/27 "2013-02-17T01:39:48Z")
Men who make these type of comments to other women should think about how they’d feel if another guy said something similar to their daughter. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/28 "2013-02-17T01:43:53Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I say things like “I’d hit that” but I’m playing around but I also really do think the dude is attractive. Things don’t have to be either 100% serious or 100% sarcastic. The opposite of sarcastic is not serious, but sincere. Perhaps your head was filled with playful mirth as the words exited your face, but if you think the dude was attractive, then you were indeed being sincere. Not that any of this matters, because making audible sexual comments to passersby is not ever a cool thing to do. Not even if you are sporting a trucker hat, a handlebar moustache and an ironic Skynyrd shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/29 "2013-02-17T01:53:08Z")
My son is not 12yo. He’ll be 15 next month. **Guinastasia** do you recall why you thought he was 12? [FTR, I’m not mad or anything. Just curious.] ---
**Author:** ![listedmia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@listedmia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/listedmia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/30 "2013-02-17T01:55:44Z")
I don’t personally mind catcalls, as long as they are not threatening or malicious. Some women have had much more negative experiences than I have, so in general, it’s best not to make them. I don’t think the woman overreacted at all. You made a borderline rude comment, she answered back. I would also like to know the age of your son. Some more information about the women would be nice too. If they happened to be high school girls, a teenage boy’s attention might be somewhat acceptable, but a grown man’s joining in would be creepy. If you are white and they are black or Latina, they could have possibly construed “Sexy mommas” to be a little racist. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/31 "2013-02-17T02:00:59Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > My son is not 12yo. He’ll be 15 next month. > **Guinastasia** do you recall why you thought he was 12? [FTR, I’m not mad or anything. Just curious.] Just misremembering, that’s all. Sorry. Either way, he’s still young enough that it’s creepy. Seriously, not cool, dude. Not a huge deal, just something you should stop and think about next time. One thing that does bother me is that you protested when they got upset. Yes, you appologized, but then you said, “just messing around with my son.” That was wrong. You taught your son that it’s okay to disregard other’s feelings. Next time, just appologize. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/32 "2013-02-17T02:04:59Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Just misremembering, that’s all. Sorry. Either way, he’s still young enough that it’s creepy. Honestly, I’m not sure that there is ever an age at which it becomes uncreepy to play Boner-Alert with _your own son_. But hey, different strokes, right? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/33 "2013-02-17T02:06:28Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Not bad at all. They overreacted. This. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/34 "2013-02-17T02:06:30Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > A while ago I was on a very crowded bus and a guy was trying to squeeze past everyone to get off. He put his hands on either side of my waist and said “Excuse me honey”. I said “please don’t touch me like that” to which he replied very loudly “why would I want to touch you, you ugly bitch”. He was right beside me and there was nowhere to escape - I really did think he was going to hit me. A friend of mine did something similar. I’d wager he tips the scales at about 300lbs. He was getting on a plane and squeezed past a lady who was putting stuff in the overhead compartment. He didn’t say a word, but IIRC he did put his hands on her hips so he wouldn’t knock her over. When he landed he was put in handcuffs and (to make a long story short) $30,000 later he cleared his name. She filed a civil suit against him for sexual harassment and for reason beyond the scope of this thread he has the sneaking suspicion she was just looking for a payday. FTR, the 30K was legal costs, not a settlement. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/35 "2013-02-17T02:11:41Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Honestly, I’m not sure that there is ever an age at which it becomes uncreepy to play Boner-Alert with _your own son_. But hey, different strokes, right? Good point. However, it’s worse when you factor in that his son is still growing up, since he’s still learning about life, and how to act in some situations. He’ll follow Dad’s example. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/36 "2013-02-17T02:12:35Z")
I am also unsure of the reasoning behind declaring the woman’s pointed response to be “an overreaction”. In your minds, what _wouldn’t_ have been an overreaction? A smile and curtsy? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/37 "2013-02-17T02:13:13Z")
> [@listedmia](#): > > I don’t personally mind catcalls, as long as they are not threatening or malicious. Some women have had much more negative experiences than I have, so in general, it’s best not to make them. I don’t think the woman overreacted at all. You made a borderline rude comment, she answered back. > > I would also like to know the age of your son. Some more information about the women would be nice too. If they happened to be high school girls, a teenage boy’s attention might be somewhat acceptable, but a grown man’s joining in would be creepy. If you are white and they are black or Latina, they could have possibly construed “Sexy mommas” to be a little racist. I’m probably digging myself a bigger hole here but my son knows what kind of women I like (Judging about past GFs I would assume.) His poking me was more knowing _I_ would enjoy it more than he would. I’d say these girls were well into their 30’s as this is why I referred to them as ‘sexy mommas’. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/38 "2013-02-17T02:15:47Z")
> [@colander](#): > > I am also unsure of the reasoning behind declaring the woman’s pointed response to be “an overreaction”. In your minds, what _wouldn’t_ have been an overreaction? > [@EmAnJ](#): > > If it were me, I wouldn’t have said anything, but I would have rolled my eyes at you. Oh I don’t know; _this_. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/39 "2013-02-17T02:19:34Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Honestly, I’m not sure that there is ever an age at which it becomes uncreepy to play Boner-Alert with _your own son_. But hey, different strokes, right? I think you have to understand that the dynamic changes when you are a weekend Dad. You get very little time to bond with your son. You take what you can get. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2013, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552/40 "2013-02-17T02:22:48Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I’m probably digging myself a bigger hole here but my son knows what kind of women I like (Judging about past GFs I would assume.) His poking me was more knowing _I_ would enjoy it more than he would. I’d say these girls were well into their 30’s as this is why I referred to them as ‘sexy mommas’. And you also call them “girls”. It’s more disappointing than anything. Even if you don’t mind teaching your son that women exist to be ogled, it’s rude to make uninvited personal comments about strangers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-bad-was-this-a-slight-cat-call-i-guess/650552.md?page=3)