# Ladies, how long does it take for you to come during oral? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2004, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476 "2004-08-05T16:39:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/61 "2004-08-09T05:23:36Z")
I’ll camp out down there until the snowcaps melt as well. Giving a massage is good for the givers soul, as is giving this oral. FWIW, my SO will take from 3 minutes to never to come from oral. We’ve spent as long as an hour at it. Sometimes she gets frustrated – “oh, just fuck me now” (meaning she doesn’t think oral will get her there, hopefully the main event will get her the rest of the way); sometimes I’ll insist that we persevere, and when we do there’s a very nice payoff for her. Other times not. Let’s face it – some women are really inconsistent in reaching orgasm. My wife is one of those people, she admits that – it depends on the phase of the moon and her mood. Technique is important, but the prevailing winds, um, prevail. I recall more than one girlfriend in the past who could orgasm in minutes, given a specific oral technique (“ooh, yeah, right there! Oooh, don’t stop!”), and others who had such subtle needs that I never got the knack with them orally, despite much effort. Some other gentleman might have had better luck with that girl; if so, my hat is off to them – I did my best. I also recall a girl I knew who could only accept intercourse and very limited digital stimulation. Why? Because she was so ticklish, and she found oral ticklesome. Go figure. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/62 "2004-08-09T05:58:40Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > I guess I get guys who fall under the category of, “I could stay down there all night.” I’ve had more than one actually say that. > > Now, I have gotten off more quickly, and I have taken longer. It just depends of a variety of factors. > > Also, the reason I know the time is because sometimes we’re doing it during a tv show, and if we start at the beginning of a sitcom, it’s easy to judge the time. hee hee. > > Maybe I’m lucky, because I seem to have had some very generous lovers. Ditto. My past boyfriends have been of the “I could stay there all night” variety. My recent ex was of the “I know I can get you to come in about 30 seconds, but I’d much prefer to tease you for about a half an hour so that I can make sure it’s a GIANT one and several follow ups”. IME, most guys LOVE the “applause” factor more than getting to the so-called “main” event. Men who want you to get off in a few (5 or less) minutes and want to get to the “main event” are likely still in that HS masturbatory mindset and haven’t matured to an adult lovemaking level yet. Either that, or they don’t get the whole thing, which is really sad for them. I’ve gone down on men for long periods of time without it bothering my jaw. If I can tell I’m going to get “blowlock” I finish, otherwise, all I’ve heard is “ooooooh”, and no complaints 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/63 "2004-08-09T06:08:22Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Heh, that’s funny, I though most women kept theirs trimmed and nice. I wouldn’t dream of expecting someone to go down unless it was nice and tidy. Oh DITTO again. Gotta have everything all smooth, tidy and freshly bathed. Anything else would be unsporting, imho. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/64 "2004-08-09T06:22:45Z")
> [@mamakat](#): > > I’ve never come from oral. ☹ I’ve only been with my (soon-to-be ex) husband, so maybe he’s just not doing it right. It’s not for lack of trying, but it never even gets me close! (hmm, you think that could have anything to do with this divorce?!?! 😃 ) I would bet it has something to do with it. See, THIS is why I wouldn’t marry someone without having test driven first 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/65 "2004-08-09T06:45:29Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > I really don’t get this at all. > > Oral has always been about either foreplay, or actually getting the other person off, not something you sit around enjoying for 30 minutes like a massage. I think 20 minutes, fully engaged at it, is too long for either. > A man really enjoys having his face that close to an ass and a pee-hole licking and kissing something that is NOT made to be licked and kissed with his neck craned for 20 minutes??? > > It’s like saying “I like to masturbate for 20 minutes, but orgasm isn’t really the point. I just really like doing it.” Any takers on that one? :eek: You poor poor kid. That’s just so sad. > [@](#): > > “orgasm is not the goal, it’s a side effect of an activity we really enjoy”. Come on. A woman actually enjoys having something that big and long engaging her gag reflex for 20 minutes??? To make it enjoyable for both, you don’t just cram it in, and then move your mouth up and down. You play, you tease, you fluff your hair across it, you brush the soft head across your cheeks and lips, you stroke with your mouth and hands, softly, so he can’t tell which is which, you use hot mint tea, then ice, and then blow on it to create interesting sensations, you ENJOY and savor it, you stop and tease, you climb on top and post (riding term :D)for a while, you draw it out and build it up, til it’s the most incredible orgasm ever, BUT you just might not, you might build it up some more. But kiss kiss, lick lick, what you’re not done yet??? Let’s do it, aaaah. That’s it? OMG, I can’t feel sorry enough for you. > [@](#): > > I’d like to see a follow-up poll about how long some of you with the 20 minute box-chowers have been with the box-chower. . .anyone over 6 months? Well, my ex husband was a “could stay there all nighter” we were together for about 3 years. And dated for a time several years after our divorce. Another was a 10 year relationship, and the most recent one was 7 years. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/66 "2004-08-09T12:05:27Z")
Let’s stop feeling sorry for Old Trunky, here. Look, believe me, I give it well by most accounts, and with several women I enjoyed giving it tremendously, but hardly ever for 20 minutes. With some women (or some women at particular times in their “monthly cycle” or their “shower cycle”) I couldn’t do it for 20 seconds. Some-a youze are acting like a vagina was made for a tongue instead of a dick, though, and you’re lying to yourselves. As for guys getting oral? My partners and I normally treated it either as, “I’m gonna get mad at the dick and get you flowing” or “let’s work that bad boy over for a few minutes before we get to the real business.” An hour, though? There’s gotta be something on TV. Besides, I don’t think that’s being very considerate of your partner. Keep in mind, no one here asked about actually having **sex** , an activity that I consider _muy_ superior to giving/getting oral (well, not with some givers). It can be intimate, impersonal, fast, slow, lovely, not lovely, close, from the bottom, from the top, from the front, from the back. Ever tried to give oral to a woman from the back? That’s some view. :eek: Sex is a beautifully complicated and personal activity – not that oral isn’t but I don’t think it’s in the same league. So, let’s get off the “Trunk must hate women because he doesn’t like licking vaginal lubrication when there’s a game on” bandwagon, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/67 "2004-08-09T15:13:37Z")
Am I the only one who thinks that giving or recieving oral sex **is** sex? ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/68 "2004-08-09T15:20:40Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks that giving or recieving oral sex **is** sex? Depends on your definition of **is**. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/69 "2004-08-09T15:28:42Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks that giving or recieving oral sex **is** sex? It constitutes sex for me and the hubby also. Two people in various stages of undress giving eachother orgasms sounds like sex to me. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/70 "2004-08-09T21:05:14Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks that giving or recieving oral sex **is** sex? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Sex is all in the mind. The body is secondary. Whatever you think is sex, is. What you think is not sex, isn’t. But be prepared to have people disagree with you. ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/71 "2004-08-09T21:18:02Z")
I usually take about 5-10 minutes per, no matter what the method, and I usually have several in a row. On the other hand, I don’t think that my husband has ever come in under half an hour, hand or oral or in me. Most of the time he can’t come from oral at all, and I know it’s not my fault - I’ve been told that I’m quite talented, and I really enjoy perfecting my technique. 😃 As already stated, every person is different. As long as everyone in bed is happy, it’s not a problem. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476/72 "2004-08-10T02:10:44Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks that giving or recieving oral sex **is** sex? No, it’s that trunk is the only one who thinks it isn’t sex, or that it isn’t important. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-long-does-it-take-for-you-to-come-during-oral/258476.md?page=3)