# Ladies: "How to make a man happy, 2014 Edition" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 22, 2014, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991 "2014-05-22T08:42:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/41 "2014-05-23T08:26:16Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > So, dare I ask why you’re saving the jar? Specimen jar for the traditional postcoital dysentery test? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/42 "2014-05-23T15:14:09Z")
Long walks on the beach and sharing your feeli … Pffft. Almost made it with a straight face. No, really, just give good head. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/43 "2014-05-23T16:43:39Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > Please, every issue of Cosmo going back like fifty years has had a headline badgering us women to learn how to please a man. We don’t need that shit here, too. > > How about: > > Step 1. Ask the guy. The flip side of this: When the guy asks a question: Answer the question. The question only, no side topics, “Why do you ask?” “You should know already!” or any of that. In particular, the answer to a “Yes/No” question should be “Yes” or “No”. To say this would make a man happy would be an understatement. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/44 "2014-05-23T17:15:25Z")
It’s a trick question. Everybody knows that _if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy_. The only way for a woman to make her man happy is for her to let him make her happy. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/45 "2014-05-23T17:27:18Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > and blowjobs. And often. None of that “special birthday present” shit. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/46 "2014-05-23T17:31:41Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > And often. None of that “special birthday present” shit. My experience is that women who don’t give unsolicited blowjobs don’t give blowjobs worth soliciting. If you’re only getting one on your birthday it’s probably not much of a birthday present. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/47 "2014-05-23T17:58:49Z")
Year 1: Unflavored Year 2: Dill Year 3: Garlic Year 4: Spicy Hot ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/48 "2014-05-23T18:39:35Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I’ve got it! > > Exercise > **Discipline** > Affection I swear to God, you take one more step towards me with that paddle and I AM OUT OF HERE. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/49 "2014-05-23T18:43:03Z")
Show up in a skimpy outfit, with beer. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/50 "2014-05-23T18:48:24Z")
I think many men can be happy if left to their own devices for the most part. Wanna make your man happy? Leave him alone and quit doing stuff that makes him unhappy. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/51 "2014-05-23T18:58:20Z")
I thought it was own a boat and a liquor store. Blowjobs go without saying! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/52 "2014-05-23T23:47:43Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Blowjobs go without saying! That’s because they can’t talk with their mouths full. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/53 "2014-05-24T00:38:21Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Feed 'em and fuck 'em? > > It’s always worked for me. Men only have two moods: Horny, or Hungry. If you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/54 "2014-05-24T14:25:42Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > It’s a trick question. > > Everybody knows that _if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy_. > The only way for a woman to make her man happy is for her to let him make her happy. That’s what works for me. My biggest turn-on? Her being turned on. Of course, I like to help with that. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2014, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/55 "2014-05-26T02:27:54Z")
“If you dance naked in front of me while I’m interneting, I will likely take you up on it out of courtesy. But in the back of my mind, you interrupted something I wouldn’t interrupt if you were in my place.” ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/56 "2014-05-26T17:38:57Z")
Look him in the eyes and tell him you’re proud of him. All these assertions that sexual acts are what keep a man are misguided. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/57 "2014-05-27T21:30:20Z")
Go home already! ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/58 "2014-05-27T23:02:29Z")
Sex, and make it enthusiastic sex, (I’ve got most everything else in the relationship). When that’s missing, I ain’t happy. It gets damn lonely. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/59 "2014-05-28T22:31:33Z")
Not always sex. There are men who find attractive women vain and often stupid, while loyal women are tedious and boring. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991/60 "2014-05-29T03:21:47Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > Not always sex. There are men who find attractive women vain and often stupid, while loyal women are tedious and boring. But those men are stupid. I wouldn’t even try to make a man like that happy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-how-to-make-a-man-happy-2014-edition/688991.md?page=4)