# Ladies, if a man has a painting of himself as a centaur above his bed what message are you getting? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2009, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143 "2009-11-03T06:13:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/21 "2009-11-03T15:36:58Z")
I wouldn’t mind JUST a naked picture because, okay then he’s just vain. If he’s hot enough to justify a naked picture, that’s fine, too. But lose the horse legs! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/22 "2009-11-03T15:41:20Z")
That while he may not be worse than Hitler, he’s as bad as [Saddam](http://www.cfpeople.org/military/041303/IRAQ_US_WAR_SADDAM_HIDEAWAY.sff_JBM103_20030412135221.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/23 "2009-11-03T15:44:26Z")
Also, I’m wondering what kind of MASSAGE I’m getting. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/24 "2009-11-03T15:48:37Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > What if it’s a centaur and a unicorn, hugging, with a rainbow arching overhead? And there are three wolves howling at the moon in the foreground? And teddy bears? I’d know that he is a peaceful, yet also a virile and mysterious man…wild and untamed much like a wolf himself. Why, a woman would be lucky to find a man like him! 😉 I’m fine with people who are into fantasy. However, a man who paints himself as a centaur and hangs it over his bed to stare at while he pleasures himself? I’d worry that he may have difficulty focussing on an actual partner than the wonder that is himself in centaur form. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/25 "2009-11-03T16:04:52Z")
> [@](#): > > However, a man who paints himself as a centaur and hangs it over his bed to stare at while he pleasures himself? I think you folks may be reading more sexual imagery in this than is present. Why assume that this is some sort of masturbatory aid? And, while there might be some sexual undertones in the very idea (there probably was back in Classical times), why assume that it’s overt? ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/26 "2009-11-03T16:48:39Z")
When I saw this thread title I thought “what a creative, hysterical, \*hypothetical \*question” and it made me grin from ear to ear. To learn that the (alleged )owner is A-Rod is a priceless gift of laughter that I shall enjoy the rest of the day. Thank you, **astro**! Anyway, to address the question, I have been in a similar situation. I briefly dated a guy who I knew was proud of his Greek heritage, but didn’t know how proud until I saw on the wall next to his bed a 16 x 20 of him in what I assume is authentic Greek attire (toga thingy, headband of leaves). Not some funny picture taken at a frat party, but a full on, posed for and purchased at Olan Mills, ethereal gazing, silver chalice holding portrait. Shit, I think it might have even been black and white so as to add to the, um, artiness. I was. . . speechless. I’d already realized that he was vain but I hadn’t been counting on bat shit insane. It certainly dampened the mood and I think that was the last time I saw him. But at least he wasn’t _half horse_, fercryinoutloud! ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/27 "2009-11-03T17:06:16Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Also, I’m wondering what kind of MASSAGE I’m getting. Whatever kind behooves you best. > [@CalMeacham](#): > > I think you folks may be reading more sexual imagery in this than is present. Why assume that this is some sort of masturbatory aid? Because it’s better to make that assumption and be proven wrong than it is to _not_ make that assumption and be proven wrong. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/28 "2009-11-03T17:11:43Z")
> [@](#): > > Because it’s better to make that assumption and be proven wrong than it is to not make that assumption and be proven wrong. Why? Interesting Doper Name, by the way, considering the thread subject. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/29 "2009-11-03T17:19:25Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Why? Well, you’re relieved in the first case, and likely grossed out in the second; but actually, I just thought it was a moderately funny thing to say. > [@](#): > > Interesting Doper Name, by the way, considering the thread subject. Yeah – I’ve been trying to figure out a way to paint it forever… ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/30 "2009-11-03T17:25:22Z")
Smartest people on the internet, indeed. Ha! I always wondered who the idiots were who believed what they read in US Magazine and now I know. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/31 "2009-11-03T17:54:37Z")
I would _hope_ it’s because he has a wacky sense of humor, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. I’d probably be wrong, though. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/32 "2009-11-03T17:57:11Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > And ladies, while you’re here and speaking purely hypothetically, what would you think if he just happened to have painted himself as a centaur with large, shapely breasts? And maybe a pierced belly button? I would think he’s been reading too much John Varley. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/33 "2009-11-03T18:03:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I would think he’s been reading too much John Varley. More likely too much Jack Chalker. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/34 "2009-11-03T18:12:28Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I was going to comment on the question in the OP, but there’s no point – **Der Trihs** has won the thread. Time to pack up the internets and go home. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/35 "2009-11-03T18:47:31Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I think you folks may be reading more sexual imagery in this than is present. Why assume that this is some sort of masturbatory aid? And, while there might be some sexual undertones in the very idea (there probably was back in Classical times), why assume that it’s overt? IMO, hanging a centaur over one’s bed pretty clearly seems to be saying, “ladies, I think I’m hung like a horse.” ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/36 "2009-11-03T18:56:22Z")
that he’ll charge me a penny to fuck him? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/37 "2009-11-03T19:16:56Z")
You have to raise your hand if you want to go faster? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/38 "2009-11-03T19:39:17Z")
You’re all making this too complex. Clearly, he just wants to fuck horses. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/39 "2009-11-03T19:40:23Z")
Wow, not one but TWO portraits. Well, perhaps he had some slightly demented, but hot, chick give them to him or paint them for him, and it added a bit of zing to their, er, rutting. Any other reason would be an indication of monumental narcissism. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143/40 "2009-11-03T19:57:00Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Smartest people on the internet, indeed. Ha! > > I always wondered who the idiots were who believed what they read in US Magazine and now I know. OK. Yeah, you sure, uh, got us there. Good job. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-a-man-has-a-painting-of-himself-as-a-centaur-above-his-bed-what-message-are-you-getting/516143.md?page=3)