# Ladies if you don't want your private T&A pics to wind up online stop taking and sending them! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 3, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434 "2013-05-03T18:18:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/101 "2013-05-04T22:17:28Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I said that it would be just as reasonable as treating every man as a “potential rapist”, to demonstrate how extreme that position is. Except the problem is, when something happens like a woman being accosted in her own apartment by someone she invited in to call a cab, or a woman having her private pics posted on the net by an asshole ex, inevitably there are a huge number of [del]men[/del] douchebags, on this board and elsewhere, who will post “Why didn’t she treat the guy like a potential rapist? It’s her fault!” So it’s a lose-lose proposition. If a woman exercises prudence you complain that she’s treating you like “scum.” If she shows trust it’s her fault for anything bad that happens. And then the inevitable whining about “Why I no get laid” begins. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/102 "2013-05-04T22:20:50Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > I have to admit, I do admire the efficiency of your sneering condescension. Anyway, I understand that what you mean here is “I don’t get it,” and I’m happy to help. What I _supposed_ that to mean is that you’re employing a double standard that, like lots and lots of people around here, you seem entirely oblivious to. > > How do you know which guys can’t be trusted? Because they’re the ones in cases where the pictures get out, right, and you’re judging women in hindsight because that’s literally the only fact about their existences that you’re aware of. Clearly she fucked up, because somebody abused her trust somehow. Some guys can be trusted – you, I imagine, are one of them – but not the “assholes” **astro** was talking about, who belong to an entirely different species, and who are the untouchable force of nature that we all just have to take for granted and guard against somehow. Well, not we all; you and I and **astro** don’t have to do shit about anything, ever, because we’re the good guys. Just identify the bad guys, ladies, suss out the assholes by employing some common sense, and then you won’t be a stupid idiot who deserves to be criticized by strangers on the internet. You become stupid by virtue of trusting someone you shouldn’t trust, who I know you shouldn’t have trusted because you did and I found out about something bad that happened. > > And, coincidentally, by virtue of this approach, we regular guys, the non-assholes, will never have any fucking responsibility for anything ever (like, say, losing our cellphones, consuming “ex-gf” style porn, criticizing stupid idiot women on the internet), and we’re entitled to women who are completely free with their bodies and who give us the trust we deserve and are offended at the suggestion we should ever have to earn. Because we’re totally different from the assholes, obviously. Now show me them titties. I am curious. Per the above you seem to dwell at length on the notion that the non-picture posting men are somehow evading responsibility for…well… something, and that we should be doing “shit about something” related to this issue, but you don’t elaborate. Please break it down. We non-assholes try to be dutiful fellows. What “shit about something” should we be doing when private pics get posted? What’s the job at hand? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/103 "2013-05-04T22:23:53Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I am curious. Per the above you seem to dwell at length on the notion that the non-picture posting men are somehow evading responsibility for…well… something, and that we should be doing “shit about something” related to this issue, but you don’t elaborate. > > Please break it down. We non-assholes try to be dutiful fellows. What “shit about something” should we be doing when private pics get posted? What’s the job at hand? How about not blaming the victim? That would be a start. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/104 "2013-05-04T22:31:24Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > It’d be interesting to find out what percentage of women who release nude images intended for private consumption find out the image was distributed without her consent. If it’s a miniscule percentage, then general advice against giving such images may be off the mark–the value of the advice would relate to how risky giving these images away actually is. That’s the crux, isn’t it? Obviously, given the ubiquity of the practice, it’s pretty clear that the publicized and disseminated images must represent only a tiny fraction of the images that have been generated. Given that this is, in truth, not a particularly high-risk activity, why _should_ it be viewed as one that is foolish to engage in? I mean, _besides_ the fact that it means the woman in question must be some kind of idiot and also a slut. PS. We are, I hope, aware that according to research surveys, the majority of explicit pictures taken for personal use are of men and their own genitalia? Juuuuust checking. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/105 "2013-05-04T22:31:35Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > If you and a woman you’re dating are goofing around and she takes a pic of herself and sends it to you, are you going to think she’s stupid for trusting you? Even if you’ve been seeing each other for \> 6 months without you showing signs of jerkiness? What other things should she never do with you to optimize her safety? Never leave you alone with her purse? I mean, you could steal her money and her identity. Shit like this happens all the time. > > It’s easy to judge women as stupid for doing something unnecessary that carries a risk of harm, especially when you don’t know the full circumstances. But millions of people do this kind of thing everyday without mess like this happening. We hone in on the exceptional cases, and ignore all the times when people treat each other with respect. You are 100% correct. It’s a risk assessment. To be honest I’m getting the impression via some of the responses that some feel it’s something we _must_ do like breathing or eating, it’s woven into the fabric of modern sexual communication. OK let’s take that hypothetical as a given. The flip side is that so is the proliferation of sharing media which is easier than taking a breath these days. At what point does the pic taker have a duty (to themselves if no one else) to stop and assess the risk of sending it out? Does that duty exist? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/106 "2013-05-04T22:32:41Z")
Revenge porn is a bad thing and should be discouraged because it will make women less likely to distribute naked pictures of themselves which is a good thing and should be encouraged. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/107 "2013-05-04T22:35:18Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > How about not blaming the victim? That would be a start. Where is the dividing line between precautionary advice and blame in this context? Where does “You really might not want to do that, it’s dangerous” become victim blaming? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/108 "2013-05-04T22:36:29Z")
> [@astro](#): > > You are 100% correct. It’s a risk assessment. > > To be honest I’m getting the impression via some of the responses that some feel it’s something we _must_ do like breathing or eating, it’s woven into the fabric of modern sexual communication. OK let’s take that hypothetical as a given. The flip side is that so is the proliferation of sharing media which is easier than taking a breath these days. At what point does the pic taker have a duty (to themselves if no one else) to stop and assess the risk of sending it out? > > Does that duty exist? Why are you so sure that there is really such a high risk involved? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/109 "2013-05-04T22:42:04Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Where is the dividing line between precautionary advice and blame in this context? Where does “You really might not want to do that, it’s dangerous” become victim blaming? Is the person you are advising a child? Mentally handicapped in some way? If not, they are probably already aware of anything you are going to say and you should probably keep your lame condescending advice to yourself. ETA: I mean seriously, how would you feel if someone came up to you and said “Hey, **Astro** , remember high crime neighborhoods have high crime.” Wouldn’t you be annoyed? Wouldn’t you say “Yeah, thanks buddy” while rolling your eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/110 "2013-05-04T22:42:23Z")
**astro** : I don’t mean to let the cat out of the bag here or anything, but I don’t actually believe in that asshole / non-asshole dichotomy. I don’t think it’s real. I think that it’s better than 50/50 that with 102 posts in this thread to this point, there’s somebody who has posted to it who has shared a naked picture of somebody else without that person’s consent. That’s the real point. They walk among us. They call themselves reasonable respectful people. So I don’t believe in dutiful fellows. I believe everybody’s just people, and that fucked up behavior should be called fucked up behavior. I don’t think it’s up to us to determine whether we’re worthy of trust or not or whether other people we don’t know anything about, in retrospect, were worthy of trust at a time we don’t know anything about. But so OK, I can just answer your question, though: read **Carmady** ’s post about the utilitarian effect of focusing on one thing and assuming the more important part is implied. You started a thread about this topic, and now you have this conundrum where you can’t figure out how you could be more responsible about it. But your thread is an address to “Ladies”! You made a choice to talk about this the way you’re talking about it. That’s how we got here. Do you think, if the only conversation anybody ever has about this is the conversation where we hector women about their stupid irresponsible decision to trust their wank shots to men who aren’t us, do you think that has the net effect of empowering the men who aren’t us; do you think that has the net effect of making the environment a little more conducive to them getting away with it? If a friend shows me a sext he got from some girl he met last weekend (which don’t tell me that’s never happened to you, because certainly it has happened to most of us), and my reaction is to note how dumb she is for trusting him, not what a shitty person he is, there’s a job at hand there, and I’m not doing it. “That’s fucked up” is a thing you can say. If your life is like mine at all, and you know broadly speaking the same range of personalities I know, it’s a thing you can say quite a lot, actually. And you can tell me that that is personally what you would do in that situation, and you could tell me that it’s just a coincidence that you’re browbeating these chickenheads, because just as often you have a serious conversation about preserving other people’s privacy in and out of the bedroom, and I will say two things: one, I don’t believe you, which doesn’t matter at all, but two, more importantly, that’s not the conversation we’re having now, because you thought it was important to talk about how it’s inevitable that the fucked up part is going to happen! I mean, read **DigitalC** ’s post about whether he tells women not to text him naked pictures. You’re involved in this conversation. You could say “hey, that’s fucked up,” couldn’t you? Is he one of the bad guys? If one of the girls whose pictures he inadvertently disseminated has her shit all out on the tubes by now, aren’t you criticizing her right now? Does that make you a bad guy? ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/111 "2013-05-04T22:43:40Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Where is the dividing line between precautionary advice and blame in this context? Where does “You really might not want to do that, it’s dangerous” become victim blaming? Solicitation of actual advice is a good start. If a woman friend says to you, “hey, my new boyfriend wants some sexy pics of me - what do you think of that idea?” then it’s perfectly appropriate for you to offer an opinion and a warning. Posting an unsolicited piece of paternalistic, condescending “precautionary advice” is on the other side of that line. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/112 "2013-05-04T22:46:30Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > Solicitation of actual advice is a good start. If a woman friend says to you, “hey, my new boyfriend wants some sexy pics of me - what do you think of that idea?” then it’s perfectly appropriate for you to offer an opinion and a warning. > > Posting an unsolicited piece of paternalistic, condescending “precautionary advice” is on the other side of that line. Yes, that’s what I meant to say, only you said it better. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/113 "2013-05-04T22:49:58Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Is the person you are advising a child? Mentally handicapped in some way? If not, they are probably already aware of anything you are going to say and you should probably keep your lame condescending advice to yourself. OK… so assumedly this person who is firing on all mental cylinders and fully aware of all the risks involved in posting private pics of themselves, and needs no lame advice will have no surprises or disappointments if their private pic somehow make their way into the big wide digital world. It’ll simply be an actuarial risk assessment at that point. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/114 "2013-05-04T22:52:09Z")
No, because actuaries have data that they work from. The point has been made multiple times in this thread (and ignored just as many times) that you really have no idea how frequently these pictures are distributed. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/115 "2013-05-04T22:52:46Z")
> [@astro](#): > > somehow make their way into the big wide digital world (cough) Somehow. You know? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/116 "2013-05-04T22:52:51Z")
> [@astro](#): > > OK… so assumedly this person who is firing on all mental cylinders and fully aware of all the risks involved in posting private pics of themselves, and needs no lame advice will have no surprises or disappointments if their private pic somehow make their way into the big wide digital world. It’ll simply be an actuarial risk assessment at that point. Read\*\* Enginerd’s\*\* post above. He said what I wanted to say and how I would reply to this post. Post #111 that is. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/117 "2013-05-04T22:53:10Z")
> [@astro](#): > > OK… so assumedly this person who is firing on all mental cylinders and fully aware of all the risks involved in posting private pics of themselves, and needs no lame advice will have no surprises or disappointments if their private pic somehow make their way into the big wide digital world. It’ll simply be an actuarial risk assessment at that point. Yah, we got it, we can’t trust men. Except when MRAs tell us we are scum for assuming all men are out to hurt us. Then, we should trust men. Except we can’t tell which ones we can trust, which ones want us to relax and enjoy sex, and which ones will have sex with us then project their shame onto us and punish us or worse: ruin our professional and private lives and set us up to be raped by strangers. Wait… which is it again? Women should trust men and enjoy sex with them, or women should regard all men as potential villians, criminals, and rapists? So hard to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/118 "2013-05-04T22:53:10Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > We’re not deaf, **Red**. We’ll of course warn our teenagers never to send a boob shot to their high school boyfriends. Damn shame though that grown adults in love can’t assume a boyfriend or husband will refrain from attempting to destroy our lives and set us up to be raped if a relationship ends. Imagine the conversation > > “Hey, baby, I’m so happy we got married, I love you so much. Last night was great, you’re so beautiful. Why don’t you send me a pic of your awesome rack?” > > “Hell, no, are you crazy? You’ll probably save the pic and post it to a revenge porno site along with directions to my house and send copies to all my friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and regional sex offenders. No way would I even consider showing you a low res pic of my boobs because you’re certain to turn into a monster in the future and attempt to destroy me. And I love you, too!!1! \<3” There were 6 people - 3 men, 3 women - in my old town who got in really big trouble for e-mailing naked pictures of themselves to each other, on company time using company equipment. The women were fired outright because their faces were clearly visible; identifying two of the men was more difficult (notice I didn’t say “harder” :D) but the third one was easy to identify because he weighed over 300 pounds. Here’s the kicker. All the women were in their 50s. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/119 "2013-05-04T22:57:20Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > **astro** : > > I don’t mean to let the cat out of the bag here or anything, but I don’t actually believe in that asshole / non-asshole dichotomy. I don’t think it’s real. I think that it’s better than 50/50 that with 102 posts in this thread to this point, there’s somebody who has posted to it who has shared a naked picture of somebody else without that person’s consent. That’s the real point. They walk among us. They call themselves reasonable respectful people. So I don’t believe in dutiful fellows. I believe everybody’s just people, and that fucked up behavior should be called fucked up behavior. I don’t think it’s up to us to determine whether we’re worthy of trust or not or whether other people we don’t know anything about, in retrospect, were worthy of trust at a time we don’t know anything about. > > But so OK, I can just answer your question, though: read **Carmady** ’s post about the utilitarian effect of focusing on one thing and assuming the more important part is implied. You started a thread about this topic, and now you have this conundrum where you can’t figure out how you could be more responsible about it. But your thread is an address to “Ladies”! You made a choice to talk about this the way you’re talking about it. That’s how we got here. Do you think, if the only conversation anybody ever has about this is the conversation where we hector women about their stupid irresponsible decision to trust their wank shots to men who aren’t us, do you think that has the net effect of empowering the men who aren’t us; do you think that has the net effect of making the environment a little more conducive to them getting away with it? If a friend shows me a sext he got from some girl he met last weekend (which don’t tell me that’s never happened to you, because certainly it has happened to most of us), and my reaction is to note how dumb she is for trusting him, not what a shitty person he is, there’s a job at hand there, and I’m not doing it. “That’s fucked up” is a thing you can say. If your life is like mine at all, and you know broadly speaking the same range of personalities I know, it’s a thing you can say quite a lot, actually. And you can tell me that that is personally what you would do in that situation, and you could tell me that it’s just a coincidence that you’re browbeating these chickenheads, because just as often you have a serious conversation about preserving other people’s privacy in and out of the bedroom, and I will say two things: one, I don’t believe you, which doesn’t matter at all, but two, more importantly, that’s not the conversation we’re having now, because you thought it was important to talk about how it’s inevitable that the fucked up part is going to happen! > > I mean, read **DigitalC** ’s post about whether he tells women not to text him naked pictures. You’re involved in this conversation. You could say “hey, that’s fucked up,” couldn’t you? Is he one of the bad guys? If one of the girls whose pictures he inadvertently disseminated has her shit all out on the tubes by now, aren’t you criticizing her right now? Does that make you a bad guy? damn, boy, that is stone cold remind me not to find myself on the wrong side of an ethical divide around you ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434/120 "2013-05-04T22:57:35Z")
> [@astro](#): > > You are 100% correct. It’s a risk assessment. That’s not answering the question I asked. If a woman you’re dating left you alone with her purse, would you think she was stupid for trusting you not to rummage through her things and steal from her? If a woman confided in you a very deep, dark secret from her past, would you think she was stupid for trusting you not to blab this secret to everyone in your social circle? If a woman and man were in the middle of a break-up argument, would you think she was stupid for not ending the conversation immediately to protect herself from any possibility of being punched, no matter how slim? For some reason, I suspect you wouldn’t be judging a woman as stupid for taking these kinds of chances. So there must be something about “sexual woman = bad” that makes you view pic dissemination differently. But can you not see that the same thing is involved in all of these interactions? It comes down to trust every time. > [@](#): > > To be honest I’m getting the impression via some of the responses that some feel it’s something we _must_ do like breathing or eating, it’s woven into the fabric of modern sexual communication. Your impression is faulty. Although dirty pics aren’t essential to “modern sexual communication”, trust is. When you judge a woman for trusting her boyfriend not to violate her privacy, you’re essentially saying women shouldn’t trust men at all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-dont-want-your-private-t-a-pics-to-wind-up-online-stop-taking-and-sending-them/657434.md?page=7)