# Ladies - If you really want children stop kidding yourselves & wasting time! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2005, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714 "2005-10-11T04:28:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/1 "2005-10-11T04:28:55Z")
So Says Christian Libertarian Vox Day! [Women! Someday is today](http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46746) > [@](#): > > 1: Don’t engage in casual dating relationships after 18. They’re fun, and they’ll also prevent you from pursuing more fruitful relationships. > > 2: Make those potential long-term relationships your top priority. If you put college or your job first, there’s a reasonable chance that a job is all you’ll have at 40 … and 60. Consider the president’s new Supreme Court nominee. The unmarried and childless Creepy McCrypto is on the verge of becoming one of the two most powerful professional women in the country – does she really represent the ideal American woman? > > 3: Settle earlier rather than later. I can’t tell you how many women I know who blew off good men in their late teens and early 20s who now regret doing so. Those who are not still single at 35 are now married to men generally considered to be of lower quality than the men they spurned before. Remember, your choices narrow as you get older, while men’s choices broaden. > > 4: Let everyone know that marriage and children is your ultimate goal. Too many women, fearing the wrath of the Sisterhood, secretly wish for them while publicly and piously professing feminist-approved cant to the contrary. > > 5: Bait-and-switch doesn’t work. Unlike their female counterparts, men who say they don’t want to get married or have kids usually mean it. Play that game and he’ll be perfectly justified in dumping your dishonest posterior despite your time-investment in him. > > 6: Don’t hesitate to end relationships that aren’t leading toward marriage, or with men who are less than completely positive about the near-term prospect of children. If he hasn’t proposed in 18 months, he has no intention of doing so. Cut your losses. Most men know how to string women along and know they’ll have no problem replacing you when you finally call their bluff. Never confuse the masculine desire for conflict avoidance with malleability. > > 7: Shed your man-hating friends, as well as those who buy seriously into the Equalitarian dogma. Misery loves company and miserable women like nothing better than to make everyone within a five-mile radius miserable, too. > > 8: Be brutal when assessing the men who are interested in you. Too many women make the mistake of looking only at a man’s desirable traits and ignoring his weaknesses early on. But it’s not the first kiss that matters – it’s the happily-ever-after part. The way he treats others is the way he will eventually treat you. > > 9: If you want the odds of easily bearing healthy children to be in your favor, set a goal of marrying by 25. You can always go back to school, you can’t go back in time. > > 10: Remember that love is a choice, an action and a commitment, it is not a feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/2 "2005-10-11T05:01:57Z")
> [@](#): > > 4: Let everyone know that marriage and children is your ultimate goal. Too many women, fearing the wrath of the Sisterhood, secretly wish for them while publicly and piously professing feminist-approved cant to the contrary. It’s all a vast left-wing conspiracy!!! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/3 "2005-10-11T05:17:39Z")
Oh my god! That’s so right! I just want to be impregnated RIGHT NOW! But no ding-ding without a wedding ring! I prefer white gold or silver, ring size 7. Those interested should send their curriculum vitae and an 8x10 glossy headshot. Three references from non-relatives required. Argh. That makes me so angry. As if the ideal American woman never made it past 1910 and the Ivory Soap girl. Number 8 actually makes sense by itself, since you really shouldn’t date a guy who treats everybody else like crap, but in sum, the entire thing just feels me with eternal grrrrr. Why can’t people just accept that not everyone is going to toe their line and move on? ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/4 "2005-10-11T05:28:04Z")
Did y’all miss the part where he’s directing his comments toward women whose _priority_ is marriage and children? He’s not advocating this for everyone, just those who claim that what they want most in life is a marriage and children. And some of his points make sense, regardless of what your priorities are. Such as the already mentioned #8, as well as #5, and to an extent #10. If marriage and children is truly what you strive for in life, most of what he says makes perfect sense. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/5 "2005-10-11T05:34:17Z")
Ladies! I am _living proof_ that the guy with the weird haircut knows whereof he speaks! Here I am, _childless_ and in my thirties, professing to the Sisterhood that I don’t want children and that I _like_ my life, I’m focused on my career, and am _happy_ I didn’t settle for the man I was with at 18 or 22 (when I could have easily borne children). Now my _instinctive_ drive for Motherhood (yes, indeed, I too had stuffed animals as a child – how he seems to know me!) urges me to settle, settle, settle for the first man who walks by. Farewell, man-hating friends! Goodbye, miserable women! I am turning over a new leaf! Oh, wait. I keep forgetting. I’m\* happy \*with my life. Never mind. Carry on, people. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/6 "2005-10-11T05:38:18Z")
Underneath the surface layer of intolerance and hysteria, there’s some genuine truth. Our society was originally set up for men - you went from school to college to career and then worked your way steadily up the professional ladder. When opportunities opened up for women, they basically followed the same progression. But certain biological facts can’t be ignored. If a woman waits until she is 35 or 40 before deciding to have children her odds of conceiving are greatly reduced. A woman that opts to have children in her twenties may never reach the pinacle of her profession and a woman who opts to focus on her career may end up never having children. Women should have choices. But they should also be aware they are making choices and choices have consequences. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/7 "2005-10-11T06:51:35Z")
Can anyone envision him writing about a MALE candidate for the Supreme Court in the following manner? :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Consider the president’s new Supreme Court nominee. The unmarried and childless Creepy McCrypto is on the verge of becoming one of the two most powerful professional women in the country – does she really represent the ideal American woman? Yeah because a powerful, happy and fulfilled woman couldn’t possibly be an ideal anything. :rolleyes: The article is repulsive. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/8 "2005-10-11T12:18:56Z")
I was poking around the site trying to figure out wtf it was – and came across [this ad](http://shop.wnd.com/store/item.asp?ITEM_ID=948). Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/9 "2005-10-11T12:27:26Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/10 "2005-10-11T12:31:05Z")
Statements 2 & 7 are enough to make me gag. This guy’s belief that all single woman are miserable man haters is enough to discredit him. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/11 "2005-10-11T12:31:41Z")
Oh yes! We all know that the most important thing in life _ever_ is to get married! Screw having fun! This is Pitworthy for sure. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/12 "2005-10-11T13:03:19Z")
Oh, god, now I’m confused! I got married at 20. I graduated college, but I’m not particularly career-oriented. I’ve had the same job for nearly nine years. But at 31, I don’t have children. I’ve never wanted them (and made sure I can’t have them). Did I do it right? I screwed up, didn’t I? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/13 "2005-10-11T13:12:29Z")
A Google search on “Creepy McCrypton” found [this](http://voxday.blogspot.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/14 "2005-10-11T14:28:12Z")
> [@Miss Purl McKnittington](#): > > Oh my god! That’s so right! I just want to be impregnated RIGHT NOW! But no ding-ding without a wedding ring! I prefer white gold or silver, ring size 7. Those interested should send their curriculum vitae and an 8x10 glossy headshot. Three references from non-relatives required. > > Argh. That makes me so angry. As if the ideal American woman never made it past 1910 and the Ivory Soap girl. Number 8 actually makes sense by itself, since you really shouldn’t date a guy who treats everybody else like crap, but in sum, the entire thing just feels me with eternal grrrrr. Why can’t people just accept that not everyone is going to toe their line and move on? Do I need to include a pay stub in my resume along with the 8x10 glossy? Also would references count if they are from people I met in jail or do you want references from the outside? I think Borat knew how to get a woman: “If you come with me to my country I give you television, remote control, goat, but if you cheat on me I will crush you” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/15 "2005-10-11T14:32:04Z")
A man is incomplete until he’s married. After he is married, then he is finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/16 "2005-10-11T14:32:56Z")
> [@lorinada](#): > > Did y’all miss the part where he’s directing his comments toward women whose _priority_ is marriage and children? He’s not advocating this for everyone, just those who claim that what they want most in life is a marriage and children. Apparently these women here can’t read so good. The article makes some excellent points FOR WOMEN WHO EVENTUALLY WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. If you don’t care about having children, then you can disregard it. The fact of the matter is that women have a biological clock that reduces their chances of having a healthy child once they hit 35 or so. Another fact of life is that after 25, the rules tend to skew more in the guys favor. The pool of eligible single straight guys looking to get married drops. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Statements 2 & 7 are enough to make me gag. This guy’s belief that all single woman are miserable man haters is enough to discredit him. That’s not what he said. He said not to hang around with those kinds of women because they will just make it more difficult for you to find that special someone. They will find fault with every guy you meet and guys you meet will find them unpleasent to be around. My GF has two single 30ish friends. One is fun, professional and pretty (recently divorced) while the other is self absorbed, her professional life is a mess, she’s quite a bit overweight, wears too much makeup and is unpleasent (perpetually single). I think the article suggests hanging out with the first one. > [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Oh yes! We all know that the most important thing in life ever is to get married! Screw having fun! That is not what the article says. It says that if you decide to have fun in your 20s or focus on your career, you may be SOL once you reach your 30s. All you might find is 30 something guys with no interest in marriage or you may have waited to long and can’t have children (which some people want). Now I do have a few issues with some points: > [@](#): > > You can always go back to school, you can’t go back in time. There’s no reason you shouldn’t go to school at 18, even if just to get an MRS degree. Graduating at 22 still gives you plenty of time to find that special someone and will make you that much more desirable to the intelligent professional men you want to marry. This smacks of being very anti-feminist. The implication is almost “all women should be uneducated and just bear children” I also disagree with the mentality of approaching marriage and children like you would a job search. Those relationships tend to end badly and in fact many of my friends who married before 25 ended up divorced. I would say the takeaway from the article is that go ahead and have fun, build your career. But keep in mind that if you want to have kids, you can’t wait forever. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/17 "2005-10-11T14:40:01Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Apparently these women here can’t read so good. The article makes some excellent points FOR WOMEN WHO EVENTUALLY WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. If you don’t care about having children, then you can disregard it. I’d buy this if the guy weren’t so insulting to women who choose to focus on their careers. The comment about Miers not representing the ideal American woman, is an example. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/18 "2005-10-11T14:40:41Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > Oh, wait. I keep forgetting. I’m\*\* happy \*\*with my life. Never mind. Carry on, people. No, you’re not. You just _think_ you are happy. No woman can be happy without children. What? Do you want to end up old and alone? You’ll change your mind, dear, when you’re older. But don’t wait until it’s too late! In fact, you should get pregnant now, in case you change your mind later. At least that’s what people keep telling me. :rolleyes: It’s utterly incomprehensible to some people that my husband and I prefer our way of life. I’m heartily sick of people telling me that I’m “unfulfilled” and that I’ll regret not having children. I’m deeply offended when people tell me that my husband and I are not a “real family,” or when people ask me if I’m infertile! I am not at the mercy of some mystical “biological clock.” You do not know what is “best” for me. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/19 "2005-10-11T16:26:28Z")
Grrr! I hate that whole “feminists are evil man-haters who try to corrupt real women” garbage. GRRR! “Men are people and women are…_women_.” What does this guy care if women are still childless at age 40, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/20 "2005-10-11T16:29:22Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I would say the takeaway from the article is that go ahead and have fun, build your career. But keep in mind that if you want to have kids, you can’t wait forever. I want kids. Someday. I’m 24 now and I may not want them until I’m 30. But OH GOD! What if I can’t have any! Then I’m dooooooommmmed, right? Wrongo. I’ll just adopt. What’s the big deal? > [@article man](#): > > Don’t engage in casual dating relationships after 18. > > Settle earlier rather than later. I can’t tell you how many women I know who blew off good men in their late teens and early 20s who now regret doing so. Um, hello? I was seriously dating a guy when I was 18. If I had married him then and not casually dated around I’d be poor (more so than I already am now ;)) uneducated, and miserable. I may have squirted a few out, but they would be wearing kleenex boxes for shoes. In this day and age I really don’t think anyone’s main goal in life should be to get married at 18. Or 20. Or any god damn age. Having fun dating and living your life is much perferable to scouting for your MRS. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714.md?page=2)