# Ladies - If you really want children stop kidding yourselves & wasting time! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2005, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714 "2005-10-11T04:28:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/41 "2005-10-12T08:42:01Z")
Guys, \*\* twickster’s\*\* right, compared to “Raising Maidens of Virtue”, I think this isn’t that bad. But you know, that’s only comparatively speaking. ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/42 "2005-10-12T09:29:02Z")
They forgot number 11: A benevolent organisation formed by Those Who Love to Tell You What’s Good For You will donate a cool $2,000,000 American dollars to every pregnant lady who drops by!!! Bring some cash to the table and you’re talking. Capitalism rules! ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/43 "2005-10-12T13:46:39Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > There actually is a good message buried in the heap of misogynistic bullshit this guy is shovelling. Women who want their own kids should know that they have a ticking clock; female fertility drops sharply at around 35, and the chance of having a seriously defective baby after that increases sharply. A lot of women don’t like to hear this, and feminists don’t like people to say this, but women do have to make choices. Most people can’t have it all; that was always a myth, and people are starting to realize that. Very true. I got married a year ago, and I’m basically under doctor’s orders to get pregnant ASAP because of problems with endometriosis. I’m 30, which is apparently a magic number. I was able to get pregnant quite easily, but I’ve already lost one baby. I have friends who are older than I am who are also struggling - not all - but statistically more than my younger friends. But I wouldn’t trade my life now, whether we have kids or not, with the right guy for six earlier years of having children with the wrong guy (because I nearly did get engaged right out of college, and thank God I realized I was too immature for marriage then.). I desperately want children, and if we can’t do it naturally, we’ve already discussed and made plans for adoption - regardless of biological children, we still want to adopt at least one child. I really think it’s a catch-22, and it sucks because in the end, it’s almost like you’re required to give something up to have the other. And it always does seem to fall to the women - men can keep having kids until they’re on their deathbed if they want. And it probably would have been better, physically, for me to have my children six or seven years ago, but emotionally, for me and my family, that would have been a huge, huge mistake. But this guy’s attitude is seriously, seriously crappy. E. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/44 "2005-10-12T14:54:13Z")
One word, folks: **adoption.** There are thousands upon thousands of unwanted children out there, waiting for someone to care for them. Just because you didn’t push the kid out of your own crotch doesn’t mean he/she can’t be yours. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/45 "2005-10-12T15:42:59Z")
> [@jellyblue](#): > > The assumption noone seems to be questioning is that a husband is required (or even desired) as a prerequisite to having a baby. With a good career, you can stash some serious cash for that IVF when you’re in your 30’s. Amniocentesis makes it much less of a crapshoot after 35, too. > > Not that I want one, cause I don’t. Never did. That’s another thing feminists don’t really want women talking about - that it’s not a good thing to be a single mom. It’s one thing to end up as a single mom due to circumstances, but it really doesn’t sound like something I would go out of my way to get into. Raising kids looks damned hard; I would want help with it if I had any interest in doing it. Not to mention that I believe kids deserve a good mom and a good dad. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/46 "2005-10-12T16:40:18Z")
> [@Miss Purl McKnittington](#): > > As if the ideal American woman never made it past 1910 and the Ivory Soap girl. Don’t forget, the Ivory Soap girl was also a porn star. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/47 "2005-10-12T17:46:22Z")
If a lady or gent wishes to wed, [I can think of worse ways to find an appropriate mate.](http://www.timesmatri.com/timesmatri/faces/jsp/index.jsp) OK, it \*feels \* like a job advert, but if you are looking for someone to fill the post of ‘spouse’, maybe that makes sense. I dunno, I’m a happy spinster. If I ever had a ‘biological clock’ I must have gotten drunk in college and smashed it with a ball peen hammer. Human bonding rituals always make me scratch my head. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hildea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ebca7d/32.png) [@hildea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hildea)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/48 "2005-10-13T06:24:48Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > … and feminists don’t like people to say this… We don’t? Shit, the Sisterhood has forgotten to send me an updated version of the feminist agenda _again_. How will we _ever_ get to achieve world domination as long as the Evil Overladies neglect proper communication to their faithful minions? ---
**Author:** ![Habanero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d9b06d/32.png) [@Habanero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habanero)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/49 "2005-10-13T06:43:01Z")
That’s sort of disturbing. I’m at that point in my marraige where having kids is “the thing people do.” So doing hard work and making sure I’m financially secure for the rest of my days means I’m wasting time? Hah. Why don’t I just quit school while I’m ahead and start popping out babies. Then I can put me and my loved ones below the poverty line with more mouths to feed than money coming in. My nick name will be the “walking uterus” to those who mean a damn, and I’ll proudly tote the bible as my justification for bringing new soon-to-be-miserable life into this world. Back to the kitchen where I belong! ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/50 "2005-10-13T16:49:14Z")
I got married two years ago, when I was a doddering 26 1/2. We want to have kids, but the earliest we can reasonably do that and not sink into poverty will be a few years from now. If it’s harder to have kids when I’m in my mid-30s, I don’t care. I’d rather not have them at all than have them and force them to live in the kind of lousy circumstances in grew up in. I’m going to do it right, or not at all. I have to say that anyone who takes that list seriously should never, ever reproduce. I don’t want my kids going to school with those kids. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/51 "2005-10-13T17:39:27Z")
Well, here’s a thread about [one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=339453) woman who took his advice…over…and…over…and…over…and… ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/52 "2022-10-20T18:15:39Z")
A forum search revealed several Vox Day-related threads where I could post this hilarious update. I’m going with this one. Teddy and friends have been scammed out of a million dollars: > **[Anti-Woke Superhero Movie Blown Up in $1 Million Con](https://www.thedailybeast.com/anti-woke-superhero-movie-rebels-run-blown-up-in-dollar1-million-con?ref=home)** > > The film was based on a Confederacy-themed superhero comic book character created by a right-wing blogger. But then the money disappeared. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/53 "2022-10-20T18:20:09Z")
Sad! 🙃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.E](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.e/32/8932_2.png) [@Mr.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.E)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/54 "2022-10-20T19:45:16Z")
If only Vox Day had stayed in 2005 like this thread did. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/55 "2022-10-20T20:22:33Z")
Moderating: While we have stopped routinely closing old threads that get bumped… usually the bump has something to do with the original thread. I’m not seeing it. I’m not going to close it, but next time, please either find a more relevant thread to bump, or just start a new thread. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/56 "2022-10-20T22:40:45Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > usually the bump has something to do with the original thread. I’m not seeing it. It has to do with the shenanigans of Vox Day, [who has 17 threads here](https://boards.straightdope.com/search?q=%22vox%20day%22). I wanted a karmic comeuppance of him to be in a thread about one of his troublemakings in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/57 "2022-10-21T01:48:12Z")
> [@astro](#): > > 5: Bait-and-switch doesn’t work. Unlike their female counterparts, men who say they don’t want to get married or have kids usually mean it. Play that game and he’ll be perfectly justified in dumping your dishonest posterior despite your time-investment in him. So this is a valid point, but he still tried making it in a misogynistic way. _Both_ partners, regardless of sex or gender, should be completely upfront with how they feel about having children. It’s not a good idea to pursue a long-term relationship with someone who’s not on the same page as you and thinking they’ll change is likely to lead to resentment. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/58 "2022-10-21T02:59:21Z")
Hilary Swank is pregnant at 48! Was just waiting for a reason to post that, and now I did. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/59 "2022-10-21T03:16:32Z")
I saw this thread had been updated and I was wondering if Harriet Miers had announced she was pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714/60 "2022-10-23T11:42:50Z")
Just the other day I learned that Brigitte Nielsen (of mostly 80’s fame) had a baby at age 54, some four years back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-really-want-children-stop-kidding-yourselves-wasting-time/325714.md?page=2)