# Ladies: If you were a Lesbian... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 10, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111 "2000-05-10T13:28:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/1 "2000-05-10T13:28:22Z")
Inspired by Tatertots thread of “How Can I look older”, where she had a line about thinking that women 35-45 are the most attractive and if she were a lesbian she’d be ga-ga over them, has made me think about the nonsexual crushes I’ve had on my own sex. What Women Do I Find Appealing To Me, by Shirley Ujest. ( A BodiceRipper Book, Lesbos Press 2000. $19.95) Once when I was in my Too Much Energy and Money Phase of life, I use to work out and there was this woman who was about 5’3, with a nearly crew cut of strawberry blonde hair and the most incredible body I’ve ever been within five feet of for a woman.I got to see her naked once in the locker room and _damn_, is all I gotta say. She had the physique the I wished my body was and whenever we were on the same workout schedule, I could not help but just stare at her. Just the other day I met this woman who was a carrot top with a bajillion freckles on her face and pretty green eyes. She was model pretty ( in my eyes) because of her coloring. Ok,my attractions are hardly getting into the mental aspect of things of “Gee, that brunette is going to make me cross over” kind of thinking, but I think you know what I mean. Alright, everyone fess up. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/2 "2000-05-10T13:41:40Z")
- Drags in lawn chair and six pack \* This ought to be good. Shoot, ladies! ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/3 "2000-05-10T13:45:27Z")
They are also usually very good dressers and beautiful in a glamorous made up way. Rene Russo, Michelle Pfeiffer, Angelina Jolie these are the kinds of women that if I were a lesbian would be hot for. There was a girl in my class two years ago like this, WOW what a babe!! ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/4 "2000-05-10T13:54:50Z")
Whoo hoo! I knew registering on this message board was gonna pay off!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/5 "2000-05-10T14:38:40Z")
Oh, Im a lesbian too, I’d pick someone real like Shayna. None of that fake star crap cause youll never get anywhere near them. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/6 "2000-05-10T14:42:56Z")
Hmm, this topic is pretty foreign to me. But, we can just assume that I want to sleep with women for the moment, I would have to say that I would have to sleep with a woman based on a wonderful personality rather than physical attraction. I would love to sleep with Ed Asner now purely based on physical attraction but I doubt that anything long-term would come of it and that is more of a priority than some little fling. HUGS! Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/7 "2000-05-10T14:44:37Z")
Well, besides the lovely ladies of this message board of course . . . German songstress Ute Lemper. The only gal I’d go gay for—hubba hubba! ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/8 "2000-05-10T14:45:57Z")
Among the fans of the X-Files universe there is a large following of women (a majority of them straight) who have a crush on Agent Dana Scully. It’s a common enough phenomenon that there are acronymns for it – SWILS or NSWILS – Straight Woman In Love with Scully and Non-Straight Woman In Love with Scully, respectively. Personally, growing up I had a huge crush on Jo from Facts of Life. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/9 "2000-05-10T14:48:19Z")
pulls up deckchair next to Coldy… So, how long have you been waiting for this thread?? \*passes a beer ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/10 "2000-05-10T14:51:32Z")
_brings a card table and tortilla chips_ Coldy, John. Anyone got smokes? ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/11 "2000-05-10T14:59:48Z")
I admit it. I am a lesbian. I just can’t help it. I like girls, and I’ve always felt this way. Please, don’t judge me. I have to be true to myself… * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: One month, one day, 12 hours, 59 minutes and 38 seconds. 1261 cigarettes not smoked, saving $157.70. Life saved: 4 days, 9 hours, 5 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/12 "2000-05-10T15:18:03Z")
Over the space of several years, I’ve had three different girlfriends ask me to buy them Playboy magazines (apparently too embarassed to do it themselves). My current girlfriend is quite taken with Laetitia Casta, BTW; I introduced her to [this site](http://www.laetitia-gallery.com). Nice that we have so many things in common. DHR ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/13 "2000-05-10T15:27:55Z")
**ShirleyUjest** said: > [@](#): > > **. . . and _damn_, is all I gotta say.** Both my girlfriend and I each had exactly the same reaction when we clicked on [this link](http://www.laetitia-gallery.com/nude/lcg5.jpg) (only for Dopers who are over 18!). ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/14 "2000-05-10T15:30:44Z")
> [@](#): > > only for Dopers who are over 18 Yeah that will work 😃 ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/15 "2000-05-10T17:33:23Z")
Vanessa Williams is, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman alive. ---
**Author:** ![Elthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e274bd/32.png) [@Elthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elthia)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/16 "2000-05-10T18:30:44Z")
I’m bi. 😛 Ah, the things I go for. I like 'em powerful. Strong, physically, but more than that, mentally. Looks don’t hurt, but they aren’t the be-all and end-all (for EITHER sex) for me. The head of Heartless Bitches International, Natalie, is someone I’ve had a crush on for a couple of years now - ever since I met her. She’s gorgeous. Red hair, tall, slim, and a reservoir of retorts that could bowl over … well, me. 🙂 Um… I guess I do tend to fall for long hair. I definitely like them with long hair and female features. I don’t believe that there has to be a ‘butch’ and a ‘femme’ - that’s just silly. I like women, as women (not as girls, not as whiners and manipulators, and not as pretend-men). Basically, soft, sweet, alluring, and able to kick yer ass if you need it. _grin_ I don’t watch tv much, so I don’t know a whole lot of stars that I’d go for. I tend to fall for similar things in women and men… asians have a better chance of being beautiful for me than caucasians, possibly because opposites attract (I’m blonde and blue-eyed and almost as pale as they come). But if they can’t handle being capable AND polite, it can’t work. Michelle Yeoh kicks butt. _drool_ Well, actually, in The Heroic Trio and Executioners (CHEESE, but Ooooooooooh!, I wouldn’t mind ANY of the three of em 🙂 ) Something about Darla Moore, too… And I know he’s not a woman, but when Leslie Cheung dressed up half-in and half-out of the costume in Farewell to my Concubine, I was _drooling_ puddles on the floor. As for non-real women, well… I’ve got a crush on She-Hulk _sheepish look_ And I really wouldn’t mind Juri from Utena either… I’m horrible, eh? -Elthia ---
**Author:** ![h\_thur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/db5fbb/32.png) [@h\_thur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h_thur)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/17 "2000-05-10T18:34:46Z")
There was once another Heather I knew. She was beautiful in a different sort of way. She had steely grey eyes, board straight blonde hair, and a long, lean body. She had a square, rather masculine jawline, and the most amazing smile. She was also wickedly intelligent, suicidal, a virgin, and 24 when I knew her. My first and (so far) only same sex crush. And I am happy in knowing that if she were to read this today, she’d be delighted. There are many beautiful women out there. I’m glad we are all woman enough to recognize them without feeling that our sexual identity has been threatened. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/18 "2000-05-10T18:41:56Z")
I’ve often felt like a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/19 "2000-05-10T18:52:19Z")
I showed the link that Doghouse Reilly game (the second one) to Drain Bead to see if, in spite of her claims to the contrary, there weren’t some latent bi-sexual thoughts within her. This is the results of our chat: > [@](#): > > Scrabble 1: What is your reaction to this piture: [http://www.laetitia-gallery.com/nude/lcg5.jpg](http://www.laetitia-gallery.com/nude/lcg5.jpg) > Drain Bead: Yikes! > Scrabble 1: Okay… Not attracted at all? > Drain Bead: I’m craving Damon’s after seeing all those ribs. > Scrabble 1: LOL > Scrabble 1: Seriously… No attarction to that picture? > Drain Bead: It was fine until I scrolled down. > Scrabble 1: So you were not excited or attracted at all or to anything in that shot? > Drain Bead: Her nipples are big and she’s too skinny. Her face is nice, and the pose is cool. > Drain Bead: Let me find you something I DO find appealing with a naked woman. > Scrabble 1: Hmm… Okay… > Drain Bead: [http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/Honduras.jpg](http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/Honduras.jpg) > Drain Bead: [http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/Medusa.jpg](http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/Medusa.jpg) > Drain Bead: [http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/Pool.jpg](http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/Pool.jpg) > Drain Bead: [http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/RootSystem.jpg](http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/RootSystem.jpg) > Scrabble 1: Okay… Do they make you want to lick bush? > Drain Bead: No, but they’re erotic. > Scrabble 1: And they turn you on? > Drain Bead: I mean, I would get naked in front of a camera if the results turned out to be that sexy. > Scrabble 1: Hmm… > Drain Bead: Yes, but in a hedonistic Walt Whitman “I wish I could be that model” way, not in an “I want to fuck her” way. > Scrabble 1: Ah. > Drain Bead: [http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/waterfall.jpg](http://www.nerve.com/Vaughn/waterfall.jpg) > Scrabble 1: Well, I say that we take a lot of pictures and see if we can get you looking that sexy. I think we can… > Drain Bead: If you can find natural settings like that, black and white film, and develop them yourself, sure. > Scrabble 1: How about urban landscapes… > Scrabble 1: And natural props, such as… Another girl! > Drain Bead: Ick. Well, that settles it. No hot girl-on-girl action for me! It’s a good thing I love her the way she is and all… 🙂 * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: One month, one day, 16 hours, 51 minutes and 51 seconds. 1268 cigarettes not smoked, saving $158.51. Life saved: 4 days, 9 hours, 40 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111/20 "2000-05-10T19:43:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > pulls up deckchair next to Coldy… > > So, how long have you been waiting for this thread?? > \*\* There’s been about three or four other incarnations of this thread, but with titles like “If you were bi” and men were allowed to join in too. But to answer the question, I had a huge crush on this girl in high school. Her name was Noel (she was born on Christmas) and she was beautiful, but in a really odd way. She kinda looked like Cher when she was younger (kinda). Plus, she was an amazing violinist. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-you-were-a-lesbian/19111.md?page=2)