# Ladies - If your man paid for some professional cuddling would that be OK? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 14, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237 "2012-07-14T18:51:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/21 "2012-07-15T21:45:09Z")
If I don’t cuddle adequately for him, we have plenty of cats to pick up the slack. $60 is a bit steep for a grind. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/22 "2012-07-15T22:23:50Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Paying someone to cuddle with you should be the opposite of psychologically beneficial because it should make you feel like a creepy pathetic weirdo. This ^ ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/23 "2012-07-15T23:35:00Z")
I feel like a creepy pathetic weirdo and it didn’t cost me any money. It can be done on the cheap. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/24 "2012-07-16T00:22:58Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > It wouldn’t even be okay if it was before we met, because he’d have to a needy fucking weird dude. It’s not that hard to find a free girl, come on. **Yakuza** ([Remember Yakuza?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=646591)) seemed to have a hard time finding “free girls”. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/25 "2012-07-16T02:30:00Z")
I thought we paid them to NOT have to snuggle. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/26 "2012-07-16T04:54:45Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > **Yakuza** ([Remember Yakuza?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=646591)) seemed to have a hard time finding “free girls”. But see, free girl cuddling is easier to get than free girls sex. Obviously you’ll still need to hire a professional for sex. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/27 "2012-07-16T05:20:44Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > (Also, I have to believe it would be almost impossible for a male to snuggle with a woman and not get aroused, whether he means to or not.) Nope. I have female friends with whom I snuggle (with my girlfriend’s knowledge and permission) with zero sexual arousal. I am not interested in them that way. There is no arousal. I also have female friends with whom I might snuggle (when I was single, of course) with a perfect understanding that nothing would happen but still enjoy the nice female snuggle in a way I wouldn’t with someone I’m not attracted to. A man certainly might enjoy a snuggle in a partly sexual way, but it is not entirely necessary. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/28 "2012-07-16T11:27:32Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > But see, free girl cuddling is easier to get than free girls sex. Obviously you’ll still need to hire a professional for sex. I’d think a professional cuddler with a lot of clients would need some kind of training to combat the crushing boredom of lying in bed hour after hour not doing anything. I wonder if checking your iPhone while spooning violates the cuddle contract. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/29 "2012-07-16T11:34:07Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Nope. I have female friends with whom I snuggle (with my girlfriend’s knowledge and permission) with zero sexual arousal. I am not interested in them that way. There is no arousal. I also have female friends with whom I might snuggle (when I was single, of course) with a perfect understanding that nothing would happen but still enjoy the nice female snuggle in a way I wouldn’t with someone I’m not attracted to. A man certainly might enjoy a snuggle in a partly sexual way, but it is not entirely necessary. I don’t believe you, plain and simple. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/30 "2012-07-16T17:08:37Z")
I would only be pissed if he used it in lieu of snuggling with me. If he just wanted extra amounts of snuggling that I wasn’t able or willing to provide, though, I’d be okay with it. I liken it to a real situation I had with my first boyfriend ever, who would masturbate more often while the frequency of sex dwindled down to once (or less) a month. I wouldn’t have minded if he jacked off 5 times a day, as long as we were still having regular sex. It’s when there’s nothing left over for me that it becomes a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/31 "2012-07-16T22:12:11Z")
My thoughts in the order they occurred. First: I liked her dress. Where can I get one like that? Second: Here’s a reminder of how thankful I am to enjoy all the snuggling I could wish for at home for free. Third: The practice is expressly nonsexual; how many heterosexual women do you suppose would go for a nonsexual snuggle? Quite a few, I’d bet. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/32 "2012-07-16T23:38:55Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > I don’t agree that someone who would go to a “snuggle” is necessarily experiencing problems in their marriage. To me it does seem very equivalent to a massage. Would you accuse someone getting regular massages of having relationship troubles? Giving a good massage is a skill. I don’t think there is a lot of skill involved in snuggling. And why would you want to snuggle with someone you have no emotional connection to? Also, I really cannot imagine snuggling with a man that is not my boyfriend. Even if HE truly felt unaroused, it would make ME feel really weird. Plus, if I felt deprived of snuggling in my relationship, snuggling someone else wouldn’t really fix the problem anyway. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237/33 "2012-07-16T23:50:26Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > Third: > The practice is expressly nonsexual; how many heterosexual women do you suppose would go for a nonsexual snuggle? Quite a few, I’d bet. With another woman? Doubtful. With a good looking, good smelling guy? Quite a few. I would definitely have a problem with this if Mr. Panda wanted to do it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-your-man-paid-for-some-professional-cuddling-would-that-be-ok/628237.md?page=1)