# Ladies, if you're doing this, please stop. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 15, 2009, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820 "2009-06-15T10:16:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/21 "2009-06-15T17:48:01Z")
Men do this too, just with different words. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/22 "2009-06-15T17:57:35Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > To be honest, I’d be a litle bit insulted if I saw an ex out with someone I considered unattractive. It’s kind of like “We broke up so he could be with _her_?!”, as well as “Wow, he must have bad taste in women. But he dated me, so…” > > If he was going out with someone who was pretty and a good person, I could understand what he’d see in her and be happy for the both of them (probably). There’s something to this. I mean, when I was dumped for someone uglier, older and more married, I was like “WTF?”. At least if it had looked like she was trading _up_… @billfish678: A woman needn’t be beautiful for a man to be tired of putting up with her shit. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/23 "2009-06-15T18:11:20Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > To be honest, I’d be a litle bit insulted if I saw an ex out with someone I considered unattractive. It’s kind of like “We broke up so he could be with _her_?!”, as well as “Wow, he must have bad taste in women. But he dated me, so…” > > If he was going out with someone who was pretty and a good person, I could understand what he’d see in her and be happy for the both of them (probably). That’s really sad – and superficial. Is physical appearance the only thing that counts? If so, you’re in for some terrific disappointments. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/24 "2009-06-15T18:14:04Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > There’s something to this. I mean, when I was dumped for someone uglier, older and more married, I was like “WTF?”. At least if it had looked like she was trading _up_… > > @billfish678: A woman needn’t be beautiful for a man to be tired of putting up with her shit. :dubious: Of course not. They (the men) just put up with it longer in that case. Or, perhaps they (the pretty women) are more prone to it. Brown paper bag women can be as irritating as hell as well. Does that make you feel better? : ) ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/25 "2009-06-15T18:55:23Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > And what these strangers had to say to each other concerns you why? Hear, hear. Speaking of tacky, it is not impolite to eavesdrop, especially when you can’t help it, such as in the checkout line at the supermarket. It _is_ impolite not to pretend you didn’t hear anything, such as when you report the contents of the conversation on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/26 "2009-06-15T19:13:19Z")
She should have been more discrete about it, but this girl’s words were likely spoken out of anger and jealousy more than anything else. Those are understandable emotions after a breakup, especially when your ex moves on before you do. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/27 "2009-06-15T21:22:43Z")
> [@](#): > > it is not impolite to eavesdrop, especially when you can’t help it, These two contradict each other. He wasn’t spying on them, hoping to get some juicy bits of gossip. How in the world is it rude to be subject to something you have little control over? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/28 "2009-06-15T21:25:03Z")
She said it’s _not_ impolite to eavesdrop if you can’t help but to hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/29 "2009-06-15T21:26:54Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > She said it’s _not_ impolite to eavesdrop if you can’t help but to hear it. I’m an idiot. :smack: Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/30 "2009-06-15T21:32:59Z")
That’s okay. We won’t run you out of town… yet. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/31 "2009-06-15T21:37:24Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > To be honest, I’d be a litle bit insulted if I saw an ex out with someone I considered unattractive. It’s kind of like “We broke up so he could be with _her_?!”, as well as “Wow, he must have bad taste in women. But he dated me, so…” > > If he was going out with someone who was pretty and a good person, I could understand what he’d see in her and be happy for the both of them (probably). I guess it depends on if he broke up _to be with her_, or broke up to _not be with you_ (in the general sense of course). ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/32 "2009-06-15T22:11:31Z")
This isn’t just WOMEN. I worked at a movie theater in my 20’s - there were about six of us and one couple had hooked up, hot and heavy, for some time until the girl broke it off with the guy. She had to come in and pick up her check, and she brought along her new beau (for morale support). Who was just a guy. The most ordinary guy ever. She flounced in with Mr. Anonymous, picked up her check, flounced out. We were underwhelmed. Her ex said, “So that’s the best she could do?” ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/33 "2009-06-16T01:02:51Z")
Of course, the other side of the coin is the ex-boyfriend who lost a ton of weight, got a great haircut and obviously, had someone else dress him who looked better than he ever looked. Hey, he gained weight to get out of the military. Only a guy would do that. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/34 "2009-06-16T06:00:25Z")
Wait, wait… so if the guy I once dated who put a “No Fat Chicks\*” sticker on his car is out in public with the woman he ended up marrying, and she’s stacked on the weight, you’re telling me I’m not allowed to laugh long and loud? Unfair! - Wasn’t there before I started dating him. Wasn’t the sole reason I stopped seeing him, but was part of the overall package of reasons I ditched him. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/35 "2009-06-16T07:47:49Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > That’s really sad – and superficial. > > Is physical appearance the only thing that counts? If so, you’re in for some terrific disappointments. Yeah, but you can also be disappointed if you go around naively believing that unattractive people compensate with personality. And you can _see_ appearance. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/36 "2009-06-16T12:37:37Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > That’s really sad – and superficial. > > Is physical appearance the only thing that counts? If so, you’re in for some terrific disappointments. No, appearance isn’t the only thing that counts. But if I saw an ex out with someone, say at a grocery store or the movies, and I didn’t know anything about the other person besides their appearance, then that’s all I have to judge them on. If I got a chance to know the girl, then I would take her personality into account in my analysis of the whole person. Of course if she was pretty and a bitch, I would wonder why he was with her and be slightly insulted. But if she were attractive **and** what I considered a good, decent person, then I wouldn’t be as confused or hurt as I would be if he were dating an unattractive and/or shitty person. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/37 "2009-06-16T12:46:46Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > There’s something to this. I mean, when I was dumped for someone uglier, older and more married, I was like “WTF?”. At least if it had looked like she was trading _up_… Same thing happened to me. Ugly, older, fat, proud client of the Hair Club for Men, obnoxious, disliked by nearly everyone. The light bulb went on over my head when I found out how incredibly rich he was. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/38 "2009-06-16T13:57:20Z")
I told my fiance that if she ever cheated on me it damn well better be with someone way better looking that me who was rich. She better move up. But if it was just a normal breakup I’d be ecstatic if she was with someone who I deemed lower than me. Like said above, “That’s the best she can do?” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/39 "2009-06-16T14:42:33Z")
This reminds me of a conversation I wish I hadn’t overheard a few nights ago. I was walking down the street and two young women were walking the other way. One said “…all these losers! I need a man who makes at least six figures, drives an expensive sports car, owns his own company…” I felt kind of sorry for her. Kind of. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820/40 "2009-06-16T14:49:37Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This reminds me of a conversation I wish I hadn’t overheard a few nights ago. I was walking down the street and two young women were walking the other way. One said “…all these losers! I need a man who makes at least six figures, drives an expensive sports car, owns his own company…” > > I felt kind of sorry for her. Kind of. I didn’t know my old roommate moved to your neighborhood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-if-youre-doing-this-please-stop/499820.md?page=3)