# ladies in black pants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069 "2006-12-06T14:55:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/1 "2006-12-06T14:55:29Z")
From the hetero male perspective, in many cases, black pants suck. Why, you ask? Cause they hide the female figure, that’s why! I understand that there women who wear black for this very reason. Those are not the women I am referring to, mostly. Yes, ladies, you can hide your figure if you’re not pleased with it, but I just wish you’d consult with me first. There are a cew women in the office I work in now who persist in the black pants wearing, and I know they are just trying to thwart me. I like big butts and I can not lie (Thanks, Sir Mix-a-lot!), and, perhaps, these ladies are not pleased that they do not have a flat ass and bony hips. Cause, form what little I can tell ( :mad ), they have nice round curves in all the place that **I** like to see curvy-roundness. Please, just think of me, will you? Wait! Unless they _are_ thinking or me…I mean, I’m not pervert or anything. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/2 "2006-12-06T15:13:37Z")
Black pants are also an easy way to look professional without having to deal with skirts. They make perfect sense around the office. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/3 "2006-12-06T15:22:50Z")
These ladies you speak of must not be trying too hard to find well-fitting black pants then. The one pair I own (I live in jeans) make my ass look okay. And a lot of my female friends have black pants that show off the badonkadonk. But I wouldn’t expect women working at an office to not wear black pants. They are the easiest way to dress up for work. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/4 "2006-12-06T15:25:34Z")
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Professional. Woman, you know that’s not what he’s going after. In any case, I think the black pants can look nice. It also depends on the female in said black pants. This is where I say that I prefer seeing them on my bedroom floor, but I’ll refrain. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/5 "2006-12-06T16:03:43Z")
The only way my black pants might conceal my behind is by picking up giant wads of cat hair. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/6 "2006-12-06T16:16:15Z")
Wardrobe simplicity is the main reason I wore black pants. I wore other colors as well, but it’s economical to wear black. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/7 "2006-12-06T16:26:28Z")
I just started a job where jeans are not allowed (_sniff, sniff_), and I’m on my third consecutive day of wearing black pants. Different pants each day, mind you (and my ass looks like crap in all of them), but black pants are definitely a wardrobe staple. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/8 "2006-12-06T16:27:18Z")
You can have my wife’s ass in black pants when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/9 "2006-12-06T16:27:25Z")
Black goes with everything. Black flies under the radar. If you own three pairs of black pants, you’re half-dressed for the week. You’ll pry my black pants from my cold dead fingers. And if your pants are hiding your ass, that’s about cut, not color. After all, dark blue tight jeans aren’t less of a feast for the eyes than light blue baggy jeans, right? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/10 "2006-12-06T16:36:33Z")
Could it be, that these woman _DON’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT THEIR ASSES AT WORK!!??_ Grow up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/11 "2006-12-06T16:42:02Z")
[QUOTE=picunurse] Could it be, that these woman _DON’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT THEIR ASSES AT WORK!!??_ Grow up. 😃 [/QUOTE] No. That can’t be it. I think that once the ladies in black pants read this thread and realize that all the practicality of black pants comes at the cost of **Daddy\*2** ’s booty oogle, they will change their ways. At least, I hope so. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/12 "2006-12-06T16:42:55Z")
Black pants never impeded my taking in of the sights, if you will. Then again, I can spot a nice ass in full winter gear at 200 paces. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/13 "2006-12-06T16:48:18Z")
Ah to be young again. When you grow up you’ll acquire something called ‘standards’ and won’t tap anything with two legs and an ass 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/14 "2006-12-06T17:10:17Z")
[QUOTE=Greenback] Ah to be young again. When you grow up you’ll acquire something called ‘standards’ and won’t tap anything with two legs and an ass 😉 [/QUOTE] Which leaves you with what to choose from? Quadrupeds? Tabby ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/15 "2006-12-06T17:16:00Z")
One question, though. How do you get multiple black garments to all end up being the same black? Can you? After a couple of washings, some just lose their blacknicity more than others do. I’m also assuming it has to do with the choice of fabrics. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/16 "2006-12-06T17:49:18Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] You can have my wife’s ass in black pants when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. [/QUOTE] I apologize in advance because this is soooo baaaad: Are the pants, by chance, wool? ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/17 "2006-12-06T18:01:40Z")
[QUOTE=Greenback] No. That can’t be it. I think that once the ladies in black pants read this thread and realize that all the practicality of black pants comes at the cost of **Daddy\*2** ’s booty oogle, they will change their ways. At least, I hope so. [/QUOTE] I do not _oogle_, than you very much. I **appreciate**. And I’m sure this is the case, **Greenback**. If only they _knew_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/18 "2006-12-06T18:02:08Z")
Heh. Well played. You know, I’m sure **Hal** is more than sick of it. I’m sure as hell not, though. ---
**Author:** ![Roboto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@Roboto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roboto)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/19 "2006-12-06T18:08:13Z")
[QUOTE=An Arky] Black pants never impeded my taking in of the sights, if you will. Then again, I can spot a nice ass in full winter gear at 200 paces. 😃 [/QUOTE] That’s the spirit! I have similar talents . . . I can even get past the extreme unattractiveness of Uggs boots (kryptonite) and still appreciate a nice ass despite the wearer’s explicit attempt to look unattractive. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/20 "2006-12-06T18:18:33Z")
Actually, these black pants I’m wearing show off my ass fantastically. And no calls for “cite”, please! 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069.md?page=2)