# ladies in black pants **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069 "2006-12-06T14:55:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/21 "2006-12-06T18:20:59Z")
When I hear the term _ladies’ black pants_, I think immediately of Laura Petrie, as played by Mary Tyler Moore on the old _Dick Van Dyke Show_. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/22 "2006-12-06T18:50:05Z")
Good call, **Bosda**. But if you were following Laura Petree down the hallway, what with the fluroescent lights every few feet and the shadows and what not, the, um, view is somewhat _obscured_. **An Arky** , I think I’m with you on this. But once I come across ( 😉 ) a “nice one”, the black pants make it more difficult to fully appreciate. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/23 "2006-12-06T18:57:32Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] One question, though. How do you get multiple black garments to all end up being the same black? Can you? After a couple of washings, some just lose their blacknicity more than others do. I’m also assuming it has to do with the choice of fabrics. [/QUOTE] Washing all the solid blacks together will help. Using only cold water for both the wash and the rinse will help, too. What will REALLY help is washing everything with a cup of vinegar for the first wash, and then redying the garments periodically. Of course, you could just wear black polyester, but that sort of defeats the whole “I wear black therefore I’m cool” image, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/24 "2006-12-06T19:14:42Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] Washing all the solid blacks together will help. Using only cold water for both the wash and the rinse will help, too. What will REALLY help is washing everything with a cup of vinegar for the first wash, and then redying the garments periodically. Of course, you could just wear black polyester, but that sort of defeats the whole “I wear black therefore I’m cool” image, doesn’t it? [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t know. I’m certainly not very cool. I think I own a black dress shirt, a black long-sleeved t shirt, and a pair or two of black dress pants. I remember running a pizzeria when a kid walked in, wearing all black (picture Neo from The Matrix). I stared at him for a few seconds after he completed his order, then I finally asked how all the blacks stayed the same black. He laughed, saying he expected the usual question: “Why are you dressed like that?” He didn’t share his secret. Obviously, he is not The One. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/25 "2006-12-06T19:24:21Z")
You know, I’m wearing black pants right now. I just checked and my booty looks fine, thankyouverymuch. Of course, these are black pirate pants, coupled with a little niped in at the waist jacket and stupid high heeled boots. Almost certainly a “Loved by women, hated by men.” sort of outfit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/26 "2006-12-06T20:05:12Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] You know, I’m wearing black pants right now. I just checked and my booty looks fine, thankyouverymuch. Of course, these are black pirate pants, coupled with a little niped in at the waist jacket and stupid high heeled boots. Almost certainly a “Loved by women, hated by men.” sort of outfit. 😃 [/QUOTE] I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for a cite there, missy. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/27 "2006-12-06T20:31:31Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for a cite there, missy. [/QUOTE] My ass is my cite. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/28 "2006-12-06T21:14:08Z")
Listen, ladies, this is a thread about attempting to appreciate fine booty, and the difficulty some people (i.e., **me** ) have when said booty is encased in black cloth. Please take your high falutin’ laundry and fashion questions to another thread. 😉 I have decided it does have something to lighting and the cut of the garment. I think that biggest (heh) culprit are those slacks that have few seams and no pockets. There’s just black cloth from _here_ to _there_. Jeans, no matter the color, with the pockets and the seams and the stitching give all kinds of clues as to the “stuff” underneath. I get the fashion sense, in a general way, at least, of wearing the black. But I don’t have to like it. And no flirting! C’mon! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/29 "2006-12-06T21:32:11Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] My ass is my cite. 😃 [/QUOTE] Such a cite needs to be presented in pictured form. I ask for this not as to pose an inconvenience to you, but to ensure quality. Quality dumper control. Yup. That’s me. Just…makin’ sure. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/30 "2006-12-06T21:33:56Z")
Wait…you said NO flirting, right? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/31 "2006-12-06T21:50:36Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] I wouldn’t know. \I remember running a pizzeria when a kid walked in, wearing all black (picture Neo from The Matrix). I stared at him for a few seconds after he completed his order, then I finally asked how all the blacks stayed the same black. He laughed, saying he expected the usual question: “Why are you dressed like that?” He didn’t share his secret. Obviously, he is not The One. [/QUOTE] That’s because his mother washes his clothes! ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/32 "2006-12-06T22:06:10Z")
**Least Original User Name Ever** , you got to the bottom (pun intended) of this. Black is not forgiving of bad lighting. It just doesn’t reflect light from the subtle curves, unless it’s shiny. Now white, on the other hand, looks good in almost any light. There are some worse fashion faux paus (IMHO). Wearing attractive slacks or tight jeans and then tying a sweater around waist, for example. Or, carrying a suitcase-sized purse draped across your back. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/33 "2006-12-06T22:08:14Z")
That last post was directed to [BOLD]DaddyTimesTwo[/BOLD]. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/34 "2006-12-06T22:17:36Z")
That’s fine, but I’m still with you on the sweater. A travesty, as far as I’m concerned. Wimmins and their giant honkin’ purses. It’s like they’re compensating for a lack of something. Thank god we guys don’t have any similar issues. Isn’t that right, fellas? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/35 "2006-12-06T22:43:29Z")
[QUOTE=DaddyTimesTwo] I do not _oogle_, than you very much. I **appreciate**. [/QUOTE] Ah, one of those irregular verbs: [ul] [li]He/She oogles[/li][li]You stare[/li][li]I appreciate[/li][/ul] Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/36 "2006-12-07T03:58:15Z")
Speak for yourself, OP! I like a woman in black pants. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/37 "2006-12-07T04:14:01Z")
[QUOTE=Tabula Rasa] Which leaves you with what to choose from? Quadrupeds? [/QUOTE] And amputees, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/38 "2006-12-07T04:17:01Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] You can have my wife’s ass in black pants when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. [/QUOTE] Any chance she’s the black sheep of the family? ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/39 "2006-12-07T04:21:39Z")
I can (ahem) appreciate a woman who wears black pants, but let’s face it, ladies: if you have the goods, a pair of thin wool straight-legged slacks are incredibly flattering. They show off your shoes, avoid clinging to your thighs, and imply perfection in the rear without giving away the goods. In dark gray they go well with damn near anything. Get another pair in khaki for when you want to wear brown shoes instead of black, and then call your workplace insurer and notify them that your workplace has just become neck-injury central. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2006, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069/40 "2006-12-07T06:14:31Z")
I said it long ago. Black pants tell the whole world you have a cat. They also proclaim your comfort level about your lower-half shape. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-in-black-pants/383069.md?page=3)