# Ladies..Is it important that a man...ummm...finish?(TMI Warning) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 31, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956 "2003-12-31T16:00:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/21 "2004-01-01T05:36:24Z")
or that he’d really rather not get her pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/22 "2004-01-01T06:01:38Z")
Vanilla, what’s a lovely lady like you doing in a chat room like this. Sorry. Thought I was watching one of those dating commercials on TV. And 1985 was a great year. Good times. Except for that going to night school and having to work thing. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/23 "2004-01-01T13:19:42Z")
Well, I have been meaning to start a hyper-TMI thread on the subject for quite some time. It is both important and embarrassing. Let me tell you about my experiences with Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. (Start sinister music.) (The link is here… [http://members.fortunecity.com/tms3/](http://members.fortunecity.com/tms3/)) All my life I have masturbated face-down, consider this for a moment if it si not obviously clear to you. I have always pleasured myself by laying on a surface and rubbing my (ahem) private parts against it. No problem. Never gave it a second thought. Until I became sexually active with real-live girls. I was never able to reach climax via normal sex. In many ways I was quite proud of myself. Of all the various sexual malfunctions a man could have you would think this would be the best. Fifteen minutes? Hah! Five hours! So long we would both fall asleep. I was impressed, but bored. She was impressed, but harbored doubt about my love for her. It is bad for the relationship. Anyway, last year sometime I was reading a Playboy (for the articles) in London when darn if there was not a mention of this problem. I discovered “I am not the only one.” The condition has a cause and a cure and I (or we) are well on our way. Anyway, click on the link and tell me what you think. Change my life for the better. ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/24 "2004-01-01T14:03:24Z")
Lucky me - I’ve little trouble finishing - usually several small and one ginormous climax. However, I find it a bit disconcerting when hubby doesn’t finish. It makes me wonder if I did something wrong - not wiggled in the right way, wrong position, whathaveyou… Then again… it means he’ll be up for more fun-n-frollic in a short while… yay! ---
**Author:** ![Ziactrice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@Ziactrice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ziactrice)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/25 "2004-01-01T14:46:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 1kBR Kid \* > \*\*Gee Vanilla. Been a while for me too. If you ever find yourself near Austin maybe we could (ahem) “compare notes”.🆒 \*\* Gee, I don’t live that far from Austin. Anyone else here in Texas like to have a study session? I need to work on my timing, apparently, because I prefer four or five hours of gentle to fierce back and forthing. 😉 Personally, if the spirit is willing, the flesh can be convinced - well, five or six times, usually. (Sometimes even three or four, for the gentleman involved - if he is willing and you are inspirational enough 🆒 ) I was spoiled by some really good lovers after my divorce, so I admit this is likely not typical. Which is just too bad for everyone else, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/26 "2004-01-01T14:59:11Z")
I assume by “finish” you are referring to the act of making a pot of English Breakfast tea, toasting, buttering and strawberry jamming (jellying in the US) some English muffins and putting the cat out. The answer is YES. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/27 "2004-01-01T15:50:45Z")
> [@](#): > > **For some women, when the man doesn’t finish, she may feel she’s not attractive to him anymore or that she doesn’t turn him on like she use(d) to.** EXACTLY. **DING DING DING DING DING!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/28 "2004-01-01T16:14:41Z")
Well, there’s always plenty of opportunity to return the favour. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/29 "2004-01-01T18:23:47Z")
To the OP: yep, for the reason mentioned by **sweetypie**. **Paul in Saudi** , thanks for the link. Fascinating. I pride myself on my knowledge about sex (purely academic, of course), and I had never even heard of TMS. I am impressed by how clearly written the site is, and especially loved the line “It isn’t called traumatic because it is good for you.” 🙂 I am glad to hear his method of curing this is working for you. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/30 "2004-01-01T18:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Paul in Saudi \* > \*\*Well, I have been meaning to start a hyper-TMI thread on the subject for quite some time. It is both important and embarrassing. Let me tell you about my experiences with Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. (Start sinister music.) > > (The link is here… > [http://members.fortunecity.com/tms3/](http://members.fortunecity.com/tms3/)) > > All my life I have masturbated face-down, consider this for a moment if it si not obviously clear to you. I have always pleasured myself by laying on a surface and rubbing my (ahem) private parts against it. > > No problem. Never gave it a second thought. Until I became sexually active with real-live girls. > > I was never able to reach climax via normal sex. In many ways I was quite proud of myself. Of all the various sexual malfunctions a man could have you would think this would be the best. > > Fifteen minutes? Hah! Five hours! So long we would both fall asleep. I was impressed, but bored. She was impressed, but harbored doubt about my love for her. It is bad for the relationship. > > Anyway, last year sometime I was reading a Playboy (for the articles) in London when darn if there was not a mention of this problem. I discovered “I am not the only one.” > > The condition has a cause and a cure and I (or we) are well on our way. > > Anyway, click on the link and tell me what you think. Change my life for the better. \*\* Holy shit dude, I think you just saved my life. I had no idea what kind of problems this could have led up to.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/31 "2004-01-01T19:27:23Z")
Remarkable ain’t it? I felt like someone on Oprha “I was so surprised to learn it had a name, I wasn’t the only one.” How can we spread the word? I will not get involved in any activity that involves handing out booklets entitled “Masturbation, Doing it Right” in front of high school. Not with my record. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/32 "2004-01-01T19:39:16Z")
Dang, that is one thorough and informative website. I enjoyed the charts and graphs in particular. Who did all the required research, I wonder? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/33 "2004-01-01T20:13:45Z")
I really do get somewhat disappointed when my husband doesn’t finish; but sometimes it takes him too long, and we get tired or just run out of time. Also, as he has gotten older, he needs more direct stimulation to reach climax. Sometimes, we finish a different way, sometimes, we just do a “to be continued” thing. We just stop, and then finish later. Of course, neither one of us is exactly what you could call “average”. I don’t know how many orgasms I usually have (I don’t keep track), but it’s a lot. And, for him, 15 minutes is a quickie. Usually, we go for 30 minutes to an hour. We’ve been known to go for 2 or 3 hours, but unless we go away overnight without the kids or something, we just can’t afford to take that long most of the time. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by geewhiz_ > am waiting for sex until I am married and I pray hard that he is not a 15 minute man. Technique can be learned, if the desire to learn is there! ---
**Author:** ![Stomp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71e660/32.png) [@Stomp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stomp)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/34 "2004-01-02T00:16:54Z")
[http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062513362/ref%3Dnosim/lksmsubsite-sub-bk-asin-20/104-6284435-6067124](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062513362/ref%3Dnosim/lksmsubsite-sub-bk-asin-20/104-6284435-6067124) This is a GREAT book. It has changed our sex lives forever. We have had many long lasting marathons because of this book. Don’t hid the book though. It is so much fun for both of you to experiment together. Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/35 "2004-01-02T01:33:39Z")
I have had two periods in my adult life when I could not “finish” for some period, like days to weeks (either with a woman or alone, no joy). I had a coughing cold both times. The ladies I was with (one each time, the latter being my wife) were disappointed in this, although the silver lining was some great endurance. The sex was good, but something was missing, they’d say. ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/36 "2004-01-02T01:51:06Z")
I’ve always been faintly bored with sex until my current SO and all I can say is well, start to have trouble finishing the 2nd or 3rd time in a night but never the 1st time, always goes on for at least an hour or so though, not counting foreplay. She seems to climax a fair amount in that time as well and we rarely have trouble finishing together. However, there’s been a couple of times when I haven’t finished and just decided to stop after a particularly impressive climax from her…she didn’t seem that fussed, especially after I explained that it was starting to get painful (go find that thread about how often a guy can finish in one day if you really want to talk about this). ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956/37 "2004-01-02T05:32:56Z")
I felt it was important for my bf to finish. I liked his ability to last so long but felt I wasn’t getting all I should’ve. And I wasn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-it-important-that-a-man-ummm-finish-tmi-warning/221956.md?page=1)