# Ladies: Is Ned Flanders attractive? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 3, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830 "2003-03-03T20:42:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/21 "2003-03-04T00:30:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cowgirl \* > **…I don’t have cable so I’m limited to what’s shown in syndication…** FYI, if you’re in the US the Simpsons is not a cable show. Fox shows new episodes Sunday nights. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/22 "2003-03-04T00:37:41Z")
> [@](#): > > **voguevixen** : I’m gonna go with Lenny. We have the same interests (namely sitting at the bar and drinking.) [hijack] I have a vague recollection of Lenny sitting at the bar and making some comment about being profoundly schizophrenic – _and Karl wasn’t there._ I can’t remember if it was in the Flanders episode or if it was during the repeat episode they played earlier. Can someone supply the details on that? Or was it just the wind whistling through the cracks in my brain? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesuch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesuch)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/23 "2003-03-04T00:56:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by davidm \* > \*\*FYI, if you’re in the US the Simpsons is not a cable show. Fox shows new episodes Sunday nights. \*\* Not all areas of the US have FOX broadcast stations-Maine, for one- and are served by a national feed on cable & satellite. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/24 "2003-03-04T00:58:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*[hijack] > I have a vague recollection of Lenny sitting at the bar and making some comment about being profoundly schizophrenic – _and Karl wasn’t there._ I can’t remember if it was in the Flanders episode or if it was during the repeat episode they played earlier. > > Can someone supply the details on that? Or was it just the wind whistling through the cracks in my brain? > > [/hijack] \*\* That was from last night’s other episode, where they were talking about hiring a private investigator. Carl was there, but Homer was sitting between them (I think!) The gag is that elves supposedly cobble your shoes at night. The PI told him he was doing it himself and didn’t remember it. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/25 "2003-03-04T01:17:30Z")
Thanks for the context! (I still think Karl’s absence added another layer to the joke…) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/26 "2003-03-04T01:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Carl was there, but Homer was sitting between them (I think!) I missed that. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![leafrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cab0a1/32.png) [@leafrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leafrog)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/27 "2003-03-04T03:24:42Z")
Back on subject: 🙂 I knew a guy once who was Ned Flanders right down to the cheesy moustache and howdly doodly attitude. And he had some of the worst body odor on any person I’ve ever met. I think that causes me to assume that Ned also has some pretty hefty pheremones wafting around, making me want to gag at the thought of becoming intimate with him! ---
**Author:** ![Dagny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9f8e36/32.png) [@Dagny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dagny)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/28 "2003-03-04T03:56:42Z")
Isn’t Ned still married to his Vegas wife? ---
**Author:** ![bifar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bifar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bifar)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/29 "2003-03-04T13:18:23Z")
Yes, I would definitely do Flanders, if I had to. But my heart’s with Apu. His hairy chest is so sexy. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/30 "2003-03-04T13:43:08Z")
Ummmm…don’t you mean “attra-diddly-active”? ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/31 "2003-03-04T14:20:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leafrog \* > \*\*Back on subject: 🙂 > I knew a guy once who was Ned Flanders right down to the cheesy moustache and howdly doodly attitude. > > And he had some of the worst body odor on any person I’ve ever met. > > I think that causes me to assume that Ned also has some pretty hefty pheremones wafting around, making me want to gag at the thought of becoming intimate with him! \*\* No way! When Homer tells Flanders that he “stinks” (not in that way). Flanders says “Thanks for the nose news, neighbor-reeno!” and departs to take a shower. I bet Flanders is always squeeky clean. Now the comic book guy or Skinner’s mom- I bet **they** smell bad. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/32 "2003-03-04T15:44:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Indygrrl \* > \*\*Nope. Flanders is definitely not my type. I’d prolly go for Otto. \*\* Hey Indygrrl, how _you_ doin’? As a guy who likes guys kinda guy, I’d have to pass on Ned. Can’t say as I ever thought that much about who on the Simpsons I’d want to date, but upon reviewing them now I can’t say as I’d want to date any of them. Well, maybe Apu. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/33 "2003-03-04T16:58:35Z")
How in the world did we get this far in discussing Clair de Lune without mentioning the great French composer [Claude Debussy](http://www.classical.net/music/comp.lst/debussy.html)?! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/34 "2003-03-04T17:11:12Z")
I was pretty disappointed that Ned and the movie star got down to business on the picnic blanket. It was way too out of character. I’ve always appreciated the way Ned was almost always written faithful to his born-again character but he seemed to toss out his belief regarding premarital sex pretty casually. He let me down. If it had been Moe or Carl or someone else I wouldn’t have cared, but when Ned does it, it compromises the iconic nature of his character. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/35 "2003-03-09T08:24:30Z")
Another Flanders inconsistency: alcohol. In the episode where Homer gives up beer for a month, he goes to an AA meeting where Flanders recounts his last drink of blackberry schnapps (“Ann Landers is a boring old biddy!”), and in the Vegas episode, he threw caution to the winds by ordering a “White wine spritzer!..spritzer!..spritzer!..” (great **Fear and Loathing** parody, BTW!). But he also has a beer tap in his furnished basement. 😕 Does beer not count as alcohol? It can’t be non-alcoholic, or Homer wouldn’t drink it! ---
**Author:** ![ProjectOmega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@ProjectOmega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProjectOmega)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/36 "2003-03-09T08:54:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > \*\* But he also has a beer tap in his furnished basement. 😕 Does beer not count as alcohol? It can’t be non-alcoholic, or Homer wouldn’t drink it! \*\* Yeah, I remember that, but knowing Ned, the beer was probably for guests only. Remember the episode with the meteor threatening to crush Springfield? Ned mentions he specifically built his bomb shelter big enough to fit his family plus the Simpsons. Installing a beer-tap for guests wouldn’t be totally out there for a thoughtful guy like Ned. ---
**Author:** ![mmmiiikkkeee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@mmmiiikkkeee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmiiikkkeee)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/37 "2003-03-09T09:04:04Z")
I think all the regular male characters on the Simpsons are purposely written as losers, though there are a few background men characters who are not too bad… _Mr. Bergstrom_ (Lisa’s substitute teacher) _Bleeding Gums Murphy_ (before he died that is) _Lou_ (the black cop… his partner Eddie is ugly and kind of a dunce) _Akira_ (the japanese sushi waiter/karate teacher) _Sideshow Bob_ (when he’s not being evil - which is pretty much eliminates all but the episode with his brother) _Barney_ (the **sober, motivated** Barney that is - remember when he was in training to be an astronaut, and when he was a teenager studying for the SAT’s?) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/38 "2003-03-10T02:02:47Z")
Moe after plastic surgery. He had it goin’ on! ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830/39 "2003-03-10T04:33:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Personally, I’d find him annoying. > > But man, the guy is really built! Plus, did you ever see the episode where Maude dies? I think Homer tries to get him a date, so they do a video and Ned is in the shower. Whoa, is that guy HUNG. \*\* Oh thank you thank you thank you… Finally somebody else who sees this! I am not alone. I tried explaining this to my friends, even going as far as to point it out on video. Let me tell you , I’ve never gotten looks like **that** before. Now I have been vindicated. May the mystery of Ned’s enormous genitals be known far and wide! Okay, calming down now… I have to say, Ned is built nicely, but his goody goody attitude would get old. Plus, my being a guy would cause some problems I would imagine. Now, like **voguevixen** said, Jon is just yummo. You would have to peel me off of him, let me tell you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-is-ned-flanders-attractive/158830.md?page=1)