# Ladies: opinions on spooning? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2007, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159 "2007-03-01T15:32:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![justpassingthrough](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@justpassingthrough](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justpassingthrough)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/1 "2007-03-01T15:32:55Z")
[Wiki link here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spooning) Can’t remember now why I was thinking of this the other night, but it occurred to me that I don’t really enjoy spooning, and maybe that’s a bad thing that I should seek to remedy. 😃 See, a long-time SO seemed to use spooning as a cue for me to turn over, shut up, and go to sleep. So he had the benefit of a warm body to cuddle and boobies within easy reach, and I had…nothing that I’ve got fond memories of. I’ve never been a big chatterbox, so it’s not as if I’d already been yammering all evening. So ladies: please share your views on spooning. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![29car](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/ebca7d/32.png) [@29car](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/29car)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/2 "2007-03-01T15:43:13Z")
Speaking on behalf of my wife: “Get OFF of me! Why can’t you just go to sleep?” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/3 "2007-03-01T15:48:02Z")
You mean like, in bed and at bedtime? Ay no, at that time what I want to do is sleep! It’s bad enough that I suffered from “waking hours incompatibility” with my few bf’s, if we’re done I… _yawn_ want… to… zzzzzz In the sofa while watching TV, on the floor during a picnic… then yes it’s nice. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/4 "2007-03-01T15:49:56Z")
A question for the other dudes out there: Where do you put your arm that’s underneath you? Your pressed up against her back, one arm over the top of her, and the other??? Most of the time I have to raise mine over my head and lay with our heads both on the pillow seperated by my bicep. I can’t fall asleep like that. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/5 "2007-03-01T15:59:42Z")
It’s funny you’d look at it like that, **justpassingthrough**. From my point of view she is turning her back on me figuratively as well as literally, and I get to hand out unreciprocated cuddles and strokes. ---
**Author:** ![tiger\_lily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/96bed5/32.png) [@tiger\_lily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiger_lily)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/6 "2007-03-01T16:01:58Z")
I like it. Then again, I enjoy being tactile with SOs, though I’m not a touchy-feely person otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/7 "2007-03-01T16:22:42Z")
I have a really, really limited tolerance for it, actually. I am both a light sleeper _and_ one of Mother Nature’s Furnace People (I throw off heat like a freaking fire and can’t sleep if I’m too warm). This means that small movements on the part of the person trying to spoon with me will wake me up and that I get overheated easily if someone is spooning all over me. The only really comfortable way for me to spoon with someone is for me to be the one on the “outside” - and even then I can only stand it for a little while before I get too hot and have to scoot over some. Plus, if someone is touching me while I sleep, I will wake up every single time they move - even minor shifts and stirs. It’s a good thing my husband sleeps like the dead. He’s generally totally motionless when he’s sleeping. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/8 "2007-03-01T16:27:06Z")
I’m a guy (and play one on TV), but our opinion of Spooning at bedtime is that it’s fine for a little while, but we have different personal thermostats, and get uncomfortable staying that way for too long. We eventually seaparate under our own covers for thermal comfort to sleep. In the morning, I’ll gladly Spoon for personal cuddling and to steal some of Pepper Mill’s body heat (especially if it’s a cold morning and I got up to use the bathroom and feed the cats), but it’s only temporary, and we never fall asleep that way. Besides, if it’s intimacy I’m after I prefer Forking. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/9 "2007-03-01T16:27:45Z")
MY husband is also one of the Furnace People. I am not. I am constantly cold and seem to lack the ability to warm up once chilled. I will spoon him for the first few minutes to get warm, then I roll over and we go to sleep. Neither one of us can sleep wrapped around each other. We do, however touch feet as we fall asleep. Isn’t that just too, too cute? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![justpassingthrough](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@justpassingthrough](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justpassingthrough)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/10 "2007-03-01T16:35:21Z")
I understand your point, **Malacandra** , and while it’s possible that I misinterpreted things, my recollection is that he initiated it far more often than I did, so I assumed some enjoyment on his part. If I were a guy I suspect I’d agree with you about “her turning her back on me…” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/11 "2007-03-01T16:36:12Z")
I can’t sleep that way, although I don’t mind it while awake if it’s not too warm. I think the BF is sad that I need to sleep in my own little space. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/12 "2007-03-01T16:44:04Z")
I really like it, and happily my current boyfriend really likes it, too. Usually, though, I’m the one spooning him (in which case the arm that isn’t draped over him is up under my head). I think it’s because he’s always cold and when I spoon him it helps warm him up, but whatever the cause it works for both of us. I usually wind up with my face near the middle of his back, though, because I’m 5’3 and he’s 5’10. _grin_ But I like holding him that way. Sometimes he does spoon me, and I always like that, too, but typically it’s a prelude to sex – not in a “poking me in the back” way, just that we often include that position at the start of foreplay. We _have_ fallen asleep spooned, though we always wind up separated while sleeping. Neither of us needs or wants someone touching us all the time, and it would get too hot for me. There have been times when he was spooning me and his dog was lying in front of me (so I guess I was spooning her!), and it would get way too hot way too fast. It’s more common for us to fall asleep facing different directions but with our butts and/or feet touching (_nods at **Poysyn** _). When we wake up, though, we spoon for a while before getting out of bed. That’s typically a prelude to sex, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiger\_lily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/96bed5/32.png) [@tiger\_lily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiger_lily)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/13 "2007-03-01T16:46:05Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Besides, if it’s intimacy I’m after I prefer Forking. [/QUOTE] Well, that _can_ happen as a result of spooning (sporking?). 😃 To add a bit to my explanation - I sleep like a log. Really. Once I’m off in la-la land, I generally don’t notice if he moves around/away/whatever. I don’t mind spooning while drifting off to sleep because it makes me feel comforted, in a way… not sure how else to explain that. If we’re not asleep and I’m the one in front, I don’t just lie there like a sack of potatoes, either. In any case, there definitely isn’t a lack on interest on my part. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/14 "2007-03-01T16:51:20Z")
We do every night, for a few minutes, before we go to sleep. It’s just our way of being close. But we also separate, having vastly different body temperatures. I love it though. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/15 "2007-03-01T16:55:25Z")
See **Anaamika** ’s answer. We both toss and turn too much to do it asleep. As for my other arm…it usually goes under her pillow. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/16 "2007-03-01T16:56:38Z")
I enjoy spooning, but it’s not the most practical exercise. Usually at night whenever I try to spoon my husband complains that he can’t see my face–he feels more distant from me with my back turned. So usually for a few minutes we’ll turn to face each other and I’ll kind of throw one leg over the top of him and we sort of reverse spoon face-to-face… hard to explain. Then when I roll over for normal spooning, he assumes it’s time to go to bed and rolls over and goes to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/17 "2007-03-01T17:14:13Z")
I like spooning, but usually never fall asleep in that position. I always feel like the guy is in an uncomfortable position when we’re spooning (I’m always afraid his arm is falling asleep or something), and that makes it hard for me to fully relax. Anyway, it usually seems to be the prelude to morning sex, in my limited experience. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/18 "2007-03-01T17:18:31Z")
I like spooning, and am neither opposed to being the “big spoon” or the “little spoon,” but am often the “big spoon.” It’s nice for relaxing and getting ready to sleep while in bed, and can be nice in small spurts throughout the night (I sleep like the restless dead-- not easily woken, but I do move around and change positions throughout the night. I also talk/mumble in my sleep on occasion.) I wouldn’t, however, be comfortable spooning throughout the night. My body temperature fluctuates a lot, but I’m a bit of a heat vampire and can get overheated while spooning. At this point, I’m just as happy with being in the same bed or being within arm’s reach of my SO while sleeping. I do, however, hate the occasional “wake up via being poked in the butt” exercise when I’m not the one initiating the “poker” into this situation. (It’s rare for me to not be the instigator of waking up while forking situations.) ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/19 "2007-03-01T17:21:55Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] A question for the other dudes out there: Where do you put your arm that’s underneath you? [/QUOTE] Underneath her pillow? Stretched downwards? I admit, it is cumbersome. I once knew a nice and attractive guy who missed one arm, and I couldn’t help thnking how nice and practical that would be if we got around to spooning (which never happened). ---
**Author:** ![Surok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Surok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surok)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159/20 "2007-03-01T17:24:42Z")
Oh, for someone to spoon with. The OP has just made me realize that it’s one of the (relatively few) things that I miss about surok\_spouse. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-opinions-on-spooning/394159.md?page=2)