# Ladies' POLL: Which is more sexually intimate... (TMI possibilities) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851 "2004-10-12T18:29:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/21 "2004-10-14T04:42:23Z")
Quickly, guy checking in. I’m 29, have had about 8 sexual partners (two of them accounting for six years), and in every single case, oral sex came well before vaginal sex. Personally, I’ve always thought of oral sex as a fairly casual thing. I can see how others see the other way, but I’ve yet to meet a woman or man who saves it until after regularly sleeping with someone. As for anal vs. bondage, I find anal somehow more intimate and taboo than tying someone up. The whole handcuffs and ropes thing has somehow gotten pretty standard…or maybe I just meet more interesting girls. I’ve only done anal with one girl, on her insistance…bondage, many times. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/22 "2004-10-14T07:11:21Z")
Female, quickly nearing 46 years old here. I “save” bj’s for the very very special guys, the ones I’m very seriously involved with within a monogamous loving relationship. I don’t believe in handing out ANY sort of sex “indiscriminately” but if I were to have a quick fling, I’d be more likely for it to be just sex, no oral, and NO special treats (where’s the evil sexy grin smilie?) ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/23 "2004-10-14T07:29:57Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > II think that most women who treat blowjobs as something “special” just don’t enjoy giving them. So they save them for guys they really, really like, as a gift of sorts. And it makes sense that if a woman didn’t like giving blowjobs before she got married, she still won’t like giving them after she’s married, and it becomes one of those “I have the guy, so thank og I don’t have to do _that_ anymore” things. Au Contraire young one! 😃 I absolutely adore going down. BUT, on the man I love only. It’s not a “oh, I like this one well enough to marry so I HAVE to do it to get the ring”. It’s hard to explain. It’s more of an internal ding (musical note floating) at which you feel comfortable enough with, and close enough to this one person to be that intimate. But then as I said, I don’t tend to view regular sex casually either. > [@](#): > > I guess I muddied the water with upbringing, but my theory is that girls who are taught their vagina (sounds so damn clinical) is the holiest of holies and should be defended like sexual Missile Command, are the ones most likely to be casual about oral sex. I think it was a valid observation/question on your part. Upbringing and generation do have a bearing on a person’s view regarding sex. Though I don’t think that women withhold sex so much because of viewing their vaginas as “holiest of holy” as they withhold it because they don’t want the “hit and run” of a player. So those that are looking for something more serious tend to hold out hoping for a connection of the heart as well as of the physical. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/24 "2004-10-14T16:20:36Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Au Contraire young one! 😃 That’s why I said “I think” and “most” women, old chick! 😉 > [@](#): > > _It’s not a “oh, I like this one well enough to marry so I HAVE to do it to get the ring”._ Yikes, I totally didn’t mean to imply that! (As an aside, I find the idea of anyone doing _anything_ just to “get the ring” abhorrent.) What I mean is that if a woman doesn’t particulary enjoy giving blowjobs, she will give them to someone she’s serious about anyway because she knows HE enjoys them. As I said, like a gift of sorts (e.g., there are things I don’t like to do with my Mom but I’ll do them every now and then because I know it will make her happy, and she’s my Mom). It just definitely would never be casual with her. When I wrote the “I have the guy, so thank og I don’t have to do _that_ anymore” thing, I didn’t have in mind that it was deliberate. More like how sometimes men stop giving women flowers after they’re married, etc. For those people, the blowjobs and flowers are just part of courtship, not any Machiavellian plan whose sole point is to get hitched. I’m not saying it’s right, just another way of thinking about stuff like that. Anway, I certainly did not mean to imply that every woman who considers blowjobs to be “special” doesn’t like giving them, nor that many (if any) women would use them as a way to get a ring. Sorry for the misunderstanding. 🙂 > [@](#): > > _It’s hard to explain._ Not any harder than it is for me to explain what _I’m_ trying to say. We’re in similar boats. 😉 > [@](#): > > _But then as I said, I don’t tend to view regular sex casually either._ The woman who was my best friend for 16 years couldn’t ever have “casual” sex, either. It was a topic of conversation for us many times, me trying to understand how she couldn’t and her trying to understand how I could. 🙂 > [@](#): > > _Though I don’t think that women withhold sex so much because of viewing their vaginas as “holiest of holy” as they withhold it because they don’t want the “hit and run” of a player._ I know you’d stopped replying to me at this point, but I’d just like to throw this in: these days I’m less likely to have a one-nighter because I don’t want the “he’s bad at this” of a player. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/25 "2004-10-14T18:22:42Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > My girlfriend gave 37 blow jobs! she was _counting?!?!?!_ What, did she have like a tally on a pad of paper or something? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/26 "2004-10-14T18:46:21Z")
> [@phall0106](#): > > she was _counting?!?!?!_ What, did she have like a tally on a pad of paper or something? Psst… It’s a _Clerks_ reference. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851/27 "2004-10-14T18:56:27Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > My girlfriend gave 37 blow jobs! I like: “What, in a row?” Bahahahahaah! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-poll-which-is-more-sexually-intimate-tmi-possibilities/268851.md?page=1)