# Ladies, when did your biological clock start ticking? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698 "2010-11-15T02:49:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/41 "2010-11-15T16:03:55Z")
I’m 34. Growing up, I never pretended I was even married, much less with a family. I \*am \*married now, but we’ve decided that we’re not having kids. Just not interested in it, or changing our lives that much. (We do talk about it every so often; the answer’s always the same.) I don’t want kids. Never have. Should anything change with my husband, I’d figure that out then, I suppose. Otherwise, I wasn’t supplied with a clock either, and am pretty happy about that. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/42 "2010-11-15T16:33:41Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > A question for women who have already had at least one child… does the desire to be pregnant come on even after you’ve been through pregnancy? It did/does for me. Pregnant and delivered a child by age 18. Got the preggocravings around 29-30, got pregnant just before my 31 birthday, and it was a rather awful pregnancy which ended in an emergency c-section (but healthy baby girl!). Still, the awful parts (morning sickness X 24 hours, headaches, spotting, bodyaches, fear and anxiety when the real bleeding started at 23 weeks, etc.) don’t make my \*body \*want to never be pregnant again. It still does, although I want no more children intellectually, I do still crave the being pregnant part. It’s, as I said, hormonal and animalistic, completely devoid of rational thought. Only the knowledge that my uterus is likely to split like an overripe melon if I get pregnant again is really enough to quiet those preggocravings to a dull background noise that can be ignored. If I could bear another child safely, I’d give serious consideration to being a surrogate, although I’m probably too old for that now, at 35. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/43 "2010-11-15T16:39:13Z")
> [@Gestalt](#): > > I hope this isn’t too personal, **Sarahfeena** , but was it difficult to conceive in your late 30s? I was glad to read your story because it made me realize that I have a while before the door closes, but I’ve heard that after 35 getting pregnant can be really difficult. No, it’s not too personal, you’re fine. 🙂 I did not have any trouble at all conceiving, for the first one at age 36 and the second one at age 39. I did have two miscarriages, one before I had each child, but of course there’s no way to know if that was due to age or what. For the second baby, I used an ovulation predictor kit at the advice of my OB (he said “you don’t have time to waste,” lol). I’m 43 now, and it was so easy that now I’m kind of terrified I’ll end up having #3 without expecting it! Of course, YMMV, but I have quite a few friends who waited as long as I did who didn’t have any trouble. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend waiting QUITE as long as I did, but I don’t think you have to rush out and have them right now or anything. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/44 "2010-11-15T16:41:32Z")
It never did. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/45 "2010-11-15T16:48:40Z")
The whole “craving pregnancy” thing is really strange. I’ll just be sitting around, minding my own business, when suddenly I’ll think “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to be pregnant?” WTF. I know for a fact that it’s not cool! Why would I think that? Having your lizard brain talk to you is a strange experience. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/46 "2010-11-15T16:58:29Z")
41 and apparently, my biological clock is digital and has been blinking “12:00” for the last 20 years. Somewhere around age 15, I decided that I wasn’t interested in having children. For the next 20 years, people have been very condescending and patronizing to me, as if I don’t know my own mind, telling me “you’ll change your mind someday.” WTF? How could someone outside of my own head possibly know what factors went into that decision and what factors might cause a change of heart? Be prepared for that. 'Cause you might change your mind someday, you know. 😉 Note: I have never once changed my mind and, in fact, as I’ve gotten older and am now getting close to past childbearing age, I’m even more firm in my resolve and so grateful I stood strong on this decision all these years. For me, it’s just… better this way. I’m just sayin’. Don’t assume that you’ll have this great epiphany one day and contract Baby Fever. It happens to some women and for some of us, it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/47 "2010-11-15T17:00:21Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > A question for women who have already had at least one child… does the desire to be pregnant come on even after you’ve been through pregnancy? Because I used to looooove to imagine how neat it would be to be pregnant, and now that I am, I’m having a hard time imagining I’ll ever _want_ to do it again. The thought makes me queasy. Not that there’s anything that doesn’t make me queasy right now… Not for me. I said earlier that my plan had included having more than one child. Being pregnant is what changed that. I hated being pregnant. The only positive thing was that at the end of it I knew I would have a child. If anything, being pregnant told me to obey my (apparently broken or absent) biological clock and not have any more kids. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/48 "2010-11-15T17:03:23Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > The whole “craving pregnancy” thing is really strange. I’ll just be sitting around, minding my own business, when suddenly I’ll think “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to be pregnant?” WTF. I know for a fact that it’s not cool! Why would I think that? > > Having your lizard brain talk to you is a strange experience. I’m not sure why you say for a fact it’s not cool; I thought it was a great experience. It can be uncomfortable, and the end part is tough, no doubt about it, but overall it actually was a pretty cool/interesting/fun/extraordinary thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/49 "2010-11-15T17:11:01Z")
It never did. I’ve never been gooey over babies - they’re cute, but I like kittens much better. I always figured I wanted kids, but in a vague non-intense way and always in, like, five or ten years’ time. Once I hit 30, people kept saying ‘Ooooo, your biological clock will start ticking any minute, just you wait…’ Never happened. My now-husband and I were wonderfully happy together, just the two of us, and knew that we could keep being wonderfully happy together without adding anyone new to the equation. We decided to give it a shot because we both felt like having a baby was one of the hugest adventures life has to offer, and we didn’t want to go through life without at least giving ourselves the chance of having that adventure. And I was 35 when we finally got around to getting married, so we figured it was probably soon or never. I guess, when you come right down to it, it was curiosity. Widget is 16 months old now and is, in fact, the biggest adventure ever - and I haven’t exactly had a boring life. I’m completely gooey over her. Other babies are still not as good as kittens. Gestalt, we conceived with no problems (I was 35) and I had an easy pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/50 "2010-11-15T17:13:56Z")
And I’m with Sarahfeena: being pregnant is fascinating. I’m not sure it would have the same impact second time around, I’m sure it would have been less fascinating if I hadn’t had such an easy time, and I don’t have any particular desire to be pregnant again - but it was definitely pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/51 "2010-11-15T17:18:15Z")
Hm. I don’t know that I’m blown away by the coolness of it. I do have an anterior placenta, so I don’t feel nearly as much movement as I would otherwise; I think that’s a bummer. I want another child enough to go through this again, but man, it is one long-ass nine months. I get depressed just thinking about how much longer I have to go with _this_ pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/52 "2010-11-15T17:49:05Z")
I was 28 and a half. I was sure, prior to that summer, that I did not want kids. At all. Never. And then one day I just did. We’ve been trying since, but keep having miscarriages. I still feel confident we’ll have a kid soon. When I didn’t want kids, I did wish I wanted kids, if that makes sense. I come from a wonderful, big family where people like, love, and support each other, and I think that having a child must be one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have (hard, too, yes). But the feeling of wanting an actual kid just wasn’t there. Now it is, and I’m glad. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/53 "2010-11-15T18:07:48Z")
Never. I thought in my younger days that I might eventually have kids if I married someone who wanted them, but the thought of being pregnant is actually pretty repulsive to me. I married someone who disliked kids (we wouldn’t have reproduced anyway. His health was too tenuous). Now I’m involved with someone who doesn’t want kids. Life is good. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/54 "2010-11-15T18:34:45Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > I’m not sure why you say for a fact it’s not cool; I thought it was a great experience. It can be uncomfortable, and the end part is tough, no doubt about it, but overall it actually was a pretty cool/interesting/fun/extraordinary thing to do. More in a “not cool for my life right now.” As an unemployed grad student piling on the debt in a new town without a committed partner, I’m pretty sure that getting pregnant right now would be a Bad Thing. That doesn’t stop me from thinking “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if I didn’t get my period this month…” ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/55 "2010-11-15T18:45:40Z")
Never. I’m 46 and pretty much ticked out (about a year ago, I thought I had some perimenopausal symptoms but if this is it, it’s taking its time…) ---
**Author:** ![Neeps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@Neeps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neeps)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/56 "2010-11-15T18:59:50Z")
I think I always knew I wanted kids, intellectually, but it was never really at the front of my brain. I then met my husband when I was 27, and about a year later, a weird thing happened. It happened pretty much as other people described - a switch was flipped in my brain, and I suddenly got this very strong urge to be pregnant and have a baby. We had decided to wait a while, but I was secretly hoping the entire time that our contraception would fail and oops, I would be pregnant. That didn’t happen, and then when we seriously started trying in earnest (I’d just turned 30), nothing happened. It took 3 years and IVF, and the baby cravings that entire time were a nightmare. If I could have flipped off that switch, I would have in a heartbeat. It all worked out, and we have a 7 month old now, but the baby cravings have started again. I didn’t think I would be feeling this so soon (particularly since I had trouble bonding with my baby to start with, and because I’m still not back to 100% after giving birth), but I guess I don’t really have a say in this. It’s a strong urge, and I’m dreading the next few years if we have trouble conceiving again. Pregnancy was a relief, actually, because we got to stop trying to get pregnant. Not having sex never felt so good! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/57 "2010-11-15T19:02:10Z")
Never had kids, never wanted any. I’m 55. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/58 "2010-11-15T19:14:21Z")
I’m semi-terrified that what happened to my mom will happen to me. Dad and her got engaged when she was 25, he was 35. He wanted to get married and have kids ASAP. She didn’t want to get married till she was done with her training, around 30. And she strongly did not want kids. He argues that being married won’t change her not finishing her training. She turns 30. Still engaged but not married, still no plans to get married. Seemingly overnight she wants a baby _like right now_. Plans a wedding 2 months down the road, Dad’s thrilled. Goes off the pill 2 months after wedding with hopes of being knocked up in the next 3-6 months. Is knocked up the first time off the pill. Luckily the SO is fine with or without kids, but imagines I will come 'round in 7-10 years. Still, it’s a scary thought. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/59 "2010-11-15T19:27:02Z")
About a year after we got married, we both decided that it’d be awesome to have kids, but if it didn’t happen, we probably wouldn’t go out of our way to have babies (including fertility treatments or adoption). I felt most driven and excited to have children after I was actually pregnant than before. I turned 30 while pregnant with my first. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/60 "2010-11-15T19:37:24Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > More in a “not cool for my life right now.” As an unemployed grad student piling on the debt in a new town without a committed partner, I’m pretty sure that getting pregnant right now would be a Bad Thing. That doesn’t stop me from thinking “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if I didn’t get my period this month…” Ah, that makes more sense. Sorry about misunderstanding you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698.md?page=4)