# Ladies, when did your biological clock start ticking?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 15, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698 "2010-11-15T02:49:27Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 15\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/81 "2010-11-16T21:09:42Z")

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> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#):
>
> This thread is so weird to me. I believe what all of you are saying, but it is just so completely foreign to me. Wanting to be pregnant? _Craving_ it? Whoo. What a concept (no pun intended 🙂 ). I do actually consider myself lucky to have somehow been exempted from the whole wanting to reproduce thing (I don’t even think babies are cute - they look deformed to me).

This is exactly how I feel.

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**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/82 "2010-11-16T21:10:22Z")

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When my niece was born I was about 28. I’d wanted babies in the abstract before but being around an actual adorable little baby really set off my clock. Unfortunately we’ve had serious struggles in the primary and secondary fertility arena ever since that were not resolved until very recently. I envy women who can just let it go and decide not having children doesn’t bother them.

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**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\
**Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/83 "2010-11-17T00:59:26Z")

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> [@Hello\_Again](#):
>
> Never. I’m 35. I can smile and nod at women who talk about how they need a baby, like STAT, but they are like aliens from another planet to me.

Agreed. 38 and have always either actively disliked the idea of being a parent or else it was an idea that was so waaaaaay off my radar, asking “Do you want children?” would be about the same as asking me “Do you put lightbulbs up your nose?”

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**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/84 "2010-11-21T14:26:08Z")

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Never. And it never will. I’m in my mid-forties.

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**Author:** ![Miss\_Violaceous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/85 "2010-11-21T15:26:11Z")

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I always liked the idea of having kids and knew I would want them in the long run, but found the whole idea off-putting and thought babies looked and acted like gross elderly men. Then one day when I was 25 a switch flipped in my head and babies were cute. All of a sudden I had an overwhelming desire to be a mommy. Freaked me right the fuck out, it was so sudden.

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**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/86 "2010-11-21T15:44:16Z")

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> [@Dogzilla](#):
>
> 41 and apparently, my biological clock is digital and has been blinking “12:00” for the last 20 years.
> 
> Somewhere around age 15, I decided that I wasn’t interested in having children. For the next 20 years, people have been very condescending and patronizing to me, as if I don’t know my own mind, telling me “you’ll change your mind someday.” WTF? How could someone outside of my own head possibly know what factors went into that decision and what factors might cause a change of heart? Be prepared for that. 'Cause you might change your mind someday, you know. 😉
> 
> Note: I have never once changed my mind and, in fact, as I’ve gotten older and am now getting close to past childbearing age, I’m even more firm in my resolve and so grateful I stood strong on this decision all these years. For me, it’s just… better this way.
> 
> I’m just sayin’. Don’t assume that you’ll have this great epiphany one day and contract Baby Fever. It happens to some women and for some of us, it doesn’t.

I am 46 and it never kicked in. I knew when I was 13 that I never wanted children and I never changed my mind.

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**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/87 "2010-11-21T19:56:16Z")

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This thread shows why there is often such animosity in other thread, and on other message boards, between the “childfree” and the parents.

The childfree don’t understand that there can be a deep, biological urge that switches on at some point in a woman’s life, that says: I want a baby. It’s almost like what happens at puberty, a switch that turns on that says: I want to have sex.

If you haven’t experienced it, you can’t know what it’s like. And you have experienced it, then you expect all other women to feel as you do, since it’s such a basic feeling, like thirst or hunger.

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**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/88 "2010-11-21T20:39:39Z")

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43, never wanted kids, still don’t, like my life just the way it is, thanks.

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**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\
**Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/89 "2010-11-21T23:50:20Z")

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> [@suranyi](#):
>
> This thread shows why there is often such animosity in other thread, and on other message boards, between the “childfree” and the parents.
> 
> The childfree don’t understand that there can be a deep, biological urge that switches on at some point in a woman’s life, that says: I want a baby. It’s almost like what happens at puberty, a switch that turns on that says: I want to have sex.
> 
> If you haven’t experienced it, you can’t know what it’s like. And you have experienced it, then you expect all other women to feel as you do, since it’s such a basic feeling, like thirst or hunger.

Yes, there’s a fundamental inability to really understand each other here. I like the comparison with puberty - very true for me. It’s a biological urge.

Still, no excuse for being an asshole. There are lots of things that the majority experience that I don’t; I don’t expect that everyone will feel as I do about much of anything. No issues with people who don’t want kids here, I’m extremely glad that people have the option of choosing not to have children if they don’t really want them these days…

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**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/90 "2010-11-22T00:06:51Z")

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For me, it ticks at the beginning of each serious relationship, and the batteries run out as the relationships do. 😛 I’ve never married, and been ‘lucky’ enough not to catch during ill-fated engagements, else I would have stuck around. Which would not have necessarily been bad things, but…my folks were together due to unplanned pregnancy, and I’d prefer to avoid that.

I’ve gone all the way to mid-40’s without ever once thinking/feeling I needed/wanted to have a child to myself. I’m independant enough that the thought of going solo doesn’t bother me; if I wanted a mini-me, I’d have no problem producing one, I am fairly certain. I just…don’t want a mini-me. I’d want a mini-WE, and that’s not something I can just make happen.

While I am 99 percent positive that I could catch and carry just fine even now, my sweetie has two from a previous marriage, and that’s plenty. Add in the 15 nieces and nephews my siblings have graced me with and…I’d have to say my biological clock hasn’t even woken up yet, much the less started ticking. 😛  
And intellectually, and emotionally…no. I can’t imagine a mini-me without a mini-we, I really can’t. If my sweetie wanted to go for it, I would get into it, but I really can’t see that happening.

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**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/91 "2010-11-22T06:19:10Z")

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> [@rhubarbarin](#):
>
> Yes, there’s a fundamental inability to really understand each other here. I like the comparison with puberty - very true for me. It’s a biological urge.
> 
> Still, no excuse for being an asshole. There are lots of things that the majority experience that I don’t; I don’t expect that everyone will feel as I do about much of anything. No issues with people who don’t want kids here, I’m extremely glad that people have the option of choosing not to have children if they don’t really want them these days…

Absolutely. There’s is nothing wrong with either choice: Having children or not. I’m more interested in the underlying motivation for that choice, which I think is deeper than either group realizes.

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/92 "2010-11-22T07:09:08Z")

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We might als well ask (heterosexual) men: When you hit puberty, when exactly did the idea of kissing a girl stop being the grossest thing ever and became something cool?

Me, the clock never started ticking in earnest. I had a partner who got snipped because he didn’t want to have kids. And that was fine with me, although I enjoyed volunteering with kids. Then I divorced and my new husband wanted kids with me, badly. I still wasn’t sure, but then again, I approached 40 and didn’t want to regret _not_ having kids a few years donw the line. We had a son at 41. It all worked out fine, but my husband is more the motherly parent of us two, while I play the daddy and housekeeper role.

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**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/93 "2010-11-22T07:26:38Z")

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I didn’t get in for the edit, but just wanted to add that I _love_ babies. When my sister had her two I was there for every last thing and more. I always wanted to be an obstetrician. Babies are just awesome, and I know my sweetie gets odd thoughts when he sees me rocking the cat like a baby \<well, he really IS a big baby!\> but…even with all that, there’s never been a desire to make one from scratch. Reading the rest of the thread, I guess it really IS an individual thing, and I feel a little less defensive. Thanks for sharing 😃 Nobody seems to believe that I can love babies that much and not want to make my own. At least I know now I’m not alone 🙂

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**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/94 "2010-11-22T08:13:28Z")

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> [@Sattua](#):
>
> Hm. I don’t know that I’m blown away by the coolness of it. I do have an anterior placenta, so I don’t feel nearly as much movement as I would otherwise; I think that’s a bummer.
> 
> I want another child enough to go through this again, but man, it is one long-ass nine months. I get depressed just thinking about how much longer I have to go with _this_ pregnancy.

After delivery of Primo, I decided not to have any more children. It was not a nightmare delivery by any means but was unpleasant enough for me not to want to do it again. I had quite the aversion to the whole idea until about…a year or so later, maybe a little sooner or later. Around the time he started to wean, which makes me think that there was more at work than just not wanting to do that again.

Secundo appeared about a year after that.

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**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-when-did-your-biological-clock-start-ticking/560698/95 "2010-11-22T08:20:29Z")

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I never had a strong desire regarding children – neither for nor against – until I got married. Then it seemed like a good idea. My three beautiful sisters all had very strong feelings one way or another, and my mother is ssaid to have known when she was a child that she wanted six kids (and she got ’ em, too).

Amoung my friends, the ones with reallly strong biological clock feelings were mostly in their mid to late thirties at the time the booming started.

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