# Ladies: Why do some of you hate The Big Lebowski. What'd he ever do to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 14, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316 "2004-06-14T17:36:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/21 "2004-06-15T18:15:45Z")
Well, my ex-wife hated _The Big Lebowski_. My girlfriend likes it. Big improvement in my life, all around. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/22 "2004-06-15T19:32:28Z")
The next time this happens, we shall turn to her and say: “Man, will you just - tsk - will you just TAKE IT EASY? … Man?” ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/23 "2004-06-15T20:04:13Z")
Man, I LOVE _The Big Lebowski_. Like **pugluvr** , I was raised in Southern California (and still live there), known quite a few Dude-like guys, and dated a couple of them, too. It also helps that I do have a long-standing crush on Julienne Moore, too. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/24 "2004-06-15T20:44:14Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > One such example is my wife. She _can’t stand_ “The Big Lebowski”. More importantly, she finds the main character to be the primary reason for her potent antipathy towards this masterpiece of comedy (IMHO). Not only that, my best friend’s wife also _hates_ The Big L. Furthermore, another woman I know simply _can’t stand_ that film. Well, that’s just, like, their opinion man. This lady LOVES **The Big Lebowski**. It did take a few viewings (that seems very common with Coen films) but now it’s way up there. **O Brother** is my favorite Coen, but I love them all. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/25 "2004-06-15T21:55:14Z")
“Nice marmot.” ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/26 "2004-06-16T00:24:18Z")
I liked the movie, but I hated almost every character in the movie. The only positive thing I can say about the Dude is that he introduced me to White Russians. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/27 "2004-06-16T00:33:45Z")
My friend’s theory on _The Big Lebowski_: “Guys love it because they secretly want to be The Dude. Women hate it because they secretly fear that they’ll end up dating The Dude.” My theory on the movie is that anyone who likes the Coen Bros. but doesn’t like it, just hasn’t seen it enough times. I was very lukewarm about it the first time I saw it, but the more I see, the more genius it gets. Even just the bit where The Dude tries to find what Jackie Treehorn had been writing on his notepad – pure comedy gold. “I’ll assume you know what happens next.” “He fixes the cable?” ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/28 "2004-06-16T03:35:41Z")
I agree with **SolGrundy** , as funny as the guy is to watch for most people, imagine if you or someone you know had dated a real life Lebowski. ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/29 "2004-06-16T03:59:48Z")
Yeah? Well, that’s just like, your opinion, man. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/30 "2004-06-16T04:17:09Z")
I’m male and think _The Big Lebowski_ is a huge steaming pile of shite. A bunch of losers, who deserve to be losers, have a lot of loser things happen to them, and they react like the losers they are… and then Steve Buscemi dies for no reason. They learn nothing, their life continues like none of it even happened, and they remain losers. And it is not funny. ---
**Author:** ![randomlyblanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@randomlyblanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randomlyblanks)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/31 "2004-06-16T04:40:49Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I’m male and think _The Big Lebowski_ is a huge steaming pile of shite. > > A bunch of losers, who deserve to be losers, have a lot of loser things happen to them, and they react like the losers they are… and then Steve Buscemi dies for no reason. > > They learn nothing, their life continues like none of it even happened, and they remain losers. > > And it is not funny. How DARE you?! I did not watch my buddies die face down in the mud so that this strumpet – this fucking whore… ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/32 "2004-06-16T04:46:46Z")
Hey, hey, this is a private residence man. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/33 "2004-06-16T13:41:11Z")
C’mon Guanolad, you’re being very Un-Dude… ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/34 "2004-06-16T14:03:16Z")
> [@JuanitaTech](#): > > The first time I saw _The Big L_ I thought it was a bit of a let down. Thirteen viewings later, however, I love it and it gets funnier everytime I watch it. In fact, I think I’ll watch it this evening. I’m the exact opposite. Loved it the first time, but with each viewing I like it less. I still think that it has some good scenes, but in general I can no longer force myself to watch the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/35 "2004-06-16T14:32:02Z")
> [@pugluvr](#): > > FTR, I also love all the other Coen films (except maybe _Intolerable Cruelty_). I just saw _Intolerable Cruelty_ last night, and thought it was funny as hell. Incidentally, I knew nothing about the movie in advance, and wasn’t even thinking of the title when I picked it out of the rental stack–two hours after getting the e-mail that Mrs. Biffy has filed divorce papers. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/36 "2004-06-16T16:12:22Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > My friend’s theory on _The Big Lebowski_: “Guys love it because they secretly want to be The Dude. Women hate it because they secretly fear that they’ll end up dating The Dude.” This has _GOT_ to be it. That’s brilliant. That’s absolutely fucking brilliant. See, the wife has a little history…and so do her friends. I’m not calling them damaged goods or anything, but they all seem to have gone out with somebody at some point who they loved to death on one level, but were repulsed by on another level, because _these men were ultimately destined to go nowhere_. For my wife, this is still a subject of guilt and pain, ‘cause she knows she broke the guy’s heart leaving him. He was an opera singer who moved somewhat carelessly from odd job to odd job between gigs and had to crash on occasion in his mother’s basement when he couldn’t make ends meet. This never bothered him as he was pretty easy-going with money, and lived life figuring he’d always land on his feet somehow. Now, this guy’s personality was certainly not The Dude (rather than SoCal burnout, he was more of a big-eatin’ Italian goodfella with a warm heart, an open wallet, and the mentality of a 14-year-old except when it came to music, the thing that brought them together). She waited, hoping he’d sort of snap out of his transitory starving artist phase and buckle down into some sort of regular career with, you know, some aspiration to something, but he never did. So that was that. I’ve got it! They don’t hate The Dude just because he’s _The Dude_, they hate him 'cause he makes them feel bitter and, worse, _guilty_! Heh heh heh…I’m onto 'em now. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/37 "2004-06-16T22:13:28Z")
Hey, careful, I have a beverage here. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/38 "2004-06-17T00:53:31Z")
> [@](#): > > A bunch of losers, who deserve to be losers, have a lot of loser things happen to them, and they react like the losers they are… and then Steve Buscemi dies for no reason. Terrible review. Having to deal with a kidnapping case, millions of dollars, and dismembered toes certainly does NOT constitute “loser things happening to them”. Or if they do, I wonder what your life is like. Who are you, James Bond? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/39 "2004-06-17T03:42:25Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#): > > Terrible review. Having to deal with a kidnapping case, millions of dollars, and dismembered toes certainly does NOT constitute “loser things happening to them”. I admit that as I didn’t like it, I can barely remember it, and am certainly not subjecting myself to it again. But they get thrust into this situation through mistaken identity, then stand around looking stupid and clueless, managing to make things worse for themselves, and in the end learned absolutely nothing. The kind of people that they portrayed are exactly the kinds of people I have encountered way too often in my life, and I find each and every one of such kinds of people completely repellent to be anywhere near. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316/40 "2004-06-17T05:26:55Z")
This is bush league psych-out shit!!! I laugh!!! HA!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-why-do-some-of-you-hate-the-big-lebowski-whatd-he-ever-do-to-you/250316.md?page=3)