# Ladies: would you be flattered or skeeved out? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2012, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478 "2012-05-10T04:44:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sheriru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sheriru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sheriru)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/21 "2012-05-10T11:37:34Z")
If I was her, I’d probably be flattered. Would’ve made my day. If any man calls a woman cute she will be happy. Girl’s love comments on their looks (I’m a girl myself, I know) And you used a modest compliment. Now if you said “She’s SEXY!!!” than she would have been skeeved. But you didn’t, so… I think you made her day =) ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/22 "2012-05-10T12:27:22Z")
At my age I’d be flattered, if I were 19 again, I’d be skeeved. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/23 "2012-05-10T13:57:45Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I’d worry that he was going to say something to me, so I’d have acted differently, like she did, in hopes that he wouldn’t start hitting on me. After he left, if he hadn’t done anything yucky, I’d have been fine about it, probably flattered. I think this is probably it. I wouldn’t have been insulted or offended or skeeved out, but I would have been on guard - “Defensive shields UP!” ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/24 "2012-05-10T14:05:41Z")
> [@Astroboy14](#): > > her smile was… _different_ somehow That tells you what you need to know, really… Also I don’t know what “skeeved” means. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/25 "2012-05-10T14:15:42Z")
I would have thought it was adorable, at 19 or now at 36. This old man thinks I’m cute! And he’s not bothering me about it, but telling his doggie! I wouldn’t have minded. I wouldn’t have been skeeved out either since he didn’t approach me or try to talk me up. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/26 "2012-05-10T14:24:04Z")
She was probably skeeved because she’s a young woman that probably gets hit on 20 times a day. This 34 year old would have been flattered, though 🙂 You weren’t being pervy, though. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/27 "2012-05-10T14:39:04Z")
How was her smile different? Did it look like a real smile or was it a plastered on smiling because I have to smile? If it had been me at work, at 19 and now 30 years later, it probably would have made me feel good, even coming from an old guy in a truck I would not have had the least interest in dating. You weren’t hitting on her and you weren’t intending for her to overhear you, you were just talking to the dog. I suspect that you also had the decency to look slightly embarrassed that she had heard you, which makes the compliment that much more genuine and takes away the suspicion that there was a skeevy ulterior motive behind what you said. Now if you start showing up at her work all the time blurting compliments out, that’s creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/28 "2012-05-10T14:39:47Z")
Having not read any other replies, here’s my take; b/c I’m 42 and have been around the block I’d have been inclined (in her position) to ignore an old fool. I know you’re not likely to hang around till I get off work and follow me, you were merely voicing your internal dialogue. Now, she herself may be less experienced due to her age and would be skeeved, not knowing what to expect from you. She may not have learned yet that simply b/c you say something doesn’t mean you’re likely to act on it. ETA - there’s nothing wrong or pervy in your compliment, it was sweet as intended; it’s all about the context. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/29 "2012-05-10T14:41:33Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I would have thought it was adorable, at 19 or now at 36. This old man thinks I’m cute! And he’s not bothering me about it, but telling his doggie! I wouldn’t have minded. > > I wouldn’t have been skeeved out either since he didn’t approach me or try to talk me up. I’m imagining Shaggy and Scooby Doo. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/30 "2012-05-10T14:45:13Z")
I vote skeeved. The perception of skeeviness is directly related to how skeevy the person making the comment is. An old guy at Wendy’s who talks to his dog (and even asks the dog questions?) probably seems skeevy to a 20 year old. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/31 "2012-05-10T14:52:03Z")
Skeevy. People talking to their dogs can be cute, as long as it is clear they are talking to the dog about dog topics. Oo wants a ball? etc. Talking to dogs about human topics, such as the sexual attractiveness of bystanders, is VERY creepy. Since obviously the dog’s not going to answer and you used a tone of voice audible to others, it _appears_ that either a) you intended to the bystander for hear your comment. or b) you are insane. Now you know and I know that you didn’t _mean_ to be audible, but you were audible and that’s all she has to go on. My hackles would go up extra if you really did draw out the uuuuu in cuuuuuuuute and call your dog “doggie” rather than by a name (I can’t explain why, it’s just visceral). I wouldn’t feel threatened but it would put you in my mental “weirdo, get the hell out of my store and away from me” category. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/32 "2012-05-10T14:54:16Z")
Awaiting your follow-up thread: “Is it healthy to eat at Wendy’s five days a week?” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/33 "2012-05-10T14:54:29Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/34 "2012-05-10T14:56:36Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Yeah, thats it. He was either trying to pull a fast one or he’s actually insane :rolleyes: What do you think when people have conversations with something that can’t answer back? Usually they are trying to be indirect, or else they are delusional. I don’t see telling the dog as any different from speaking directly to the cash register. It’s not a subject a dog has a response for. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/35 "2012-05-10T14:58:15Z")
Uhhh, they are only insane if they expect an answer back. Otherwise they are just thinking outloud. Get a grip. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/36 "2012-05-10T15:02:38Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Uhhh, they are only insane if they expect an answer back. Otherwise they are just thinking outloud. Get a grip. Thinking out loud = talking to themselves in a volume that is audible= expects that other people can hear them = being indirect. As I stated. As I also stated, it was not the OP’s intention to speak at that volume, but the listener/counter girl doesn’t know that. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/37 "2012-05-10T15:08:53Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > What do you think when people have conversations with something that can’t answer back? Usually they are trying to be indirect, or else they are delusional. > > I don’t see telling the dog as any different from speaking directly to the cash register. It’s not a subject a dog has a response for. And yet we have a recent thread about what people do when they’re by themselves and pretty much every other response included talking to a pet, the TV, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/38 "2012-05-10T15:10:20Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > And yet we have a recent thread about what people do when they’re by themselves and pretty much every other response included talking to a pet, the TV, etc. “By themselves” being the operative phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/39 "2012-05-10T15:20:10Z")
Not a woman but if I observed this I’d think it was weird. I think it is weird to say something like that loudly to your dog in the car. I remember when I was that age girls I knew who got “looks” from older men almost universally didn’t appreciate it. You didn’t do anything outright offensive, though, so you have that going for you. But the whole thing would make me think you’re a little weird, so does your description of the girl, you put a lot of thought into that which makes it seem like seeing this girl had a more profound impact on you than it should have. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478/40 "2012-05-10T15:21:05Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > A 19 yr old would probably not appreciate a comment about her looks by a middle aged man, especially a stranger while she’s at work. > > Skeeved Out. Unless he’s a famous millionaire rock star, of course, in which case being a middle aged man isn’t that big of a skeeve-factor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-be-flattered-or-skeeved-out/621478.md?page=3)