# Ladies, would you dump guy if he admitted to sex w/a guy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2010, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710 "2010-10-28T22:41:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/21 "2010-10-29T03:59:06Z")
HOT. H.O.T.T. HOT. Would he consider doing it again? If so, could I maybe watch?? ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/22 "2010-10-29T04:06:34Z")
As a gay male, I can tell you some folk have no issues with gays, as long as they don’t have to see it. They support gay causes, they like gay people, but if there’s a difference between being gay, and being gay and doing something about it. And I’m not trying to be mean, it’s the same as if you think about your parents having sex. Sex is hot, but your parents? C’mon I must’ve gotten here via immaculate conception, 'cause my parents wouldn’t do THAT. Well that’s the thinking, and I understand it. I can almost tell you what’s bugging the OP friend. It’s not the guy had sex with another guy, it’s the thought, “Will he do it again?” This can be a huge problem for a woman. And I can see that point. I mean a woman can fight another woman. She knows the signs if her boyfriend is going out with another woman. She knows if he starts comparing her to other woman. It’s 100% equal footing, but this? If he did this once, she thinks, will he do it again. If so, how would she know? And it’s a legitimate concern. Lot’s of guys on the DL (downlow) will carry STDs or even HIV back to their woman. But I would pretty much say that’s the problem. If he did it once, will he do it again. How can I know if he’s doing it? If he is doing this, will I get any STD or HIV or whatever from him? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/23 "2010-10-29T05:05:39Z")
> [@rostfrei](#): > > I told her that a LOT of happily married guys have done something of that nature with another guy, at some point in their lives. You have no idea how many, and how many have done it on a regular basis, in spite of being “family guys.” If your friend breaks up with this guy, someone else will get him and she’ll be alone. Is that really what she wants? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/24 "2010-10-29T06:24:03Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > HOT. H.O.T.T. HOT. > > Would he consider doing it again? > > If so, could I maybe watch?? Or help?! ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/25 "2010-10-29T06:44:00Z")
Hell no. Count me in with the “I’d beg him to do it again and let me watch” crowd. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/26 "2010-10-29T06:54:22Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > HOT. H.O.T.T. HOT. > > Would he consider doing it again? > > If so, could I maybe watch?? This would be my reaction. If he’s bi, I would like to know (so I can help if he wants to try it again). ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/27 "2010-10-29T07:45:32Z")
Helllooo ladies! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/28 "2010-10-29T08:00:57Z")
My first thought is that your friends overeacting, maybe not by choice but still. Then I thought, wait he’s 38, she’s 35 and he brought up a college driveby early in the relationship, could be a red flag. Then I read this and thought your friends overeacting, but I know it can be hard to make you mind behave like you think it should. > [@rostfrei](#): > > The night he revealed this, they were having an in depth conversation and she asked him to “tell her a secret about him that no one else knew”. And this is what he told her. That’s why I always answer this question with ‘I hate Lima beans.’ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/29 "2010-10-29T08:14:23Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Related to the OP, would you dump a girl who admitted to [blowing her dog](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492492/)? > > In college. What kind of college admits a dog? USC? ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/30 "2010-10-29T10:46:15Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I can tell you with confidence if it was the other way around and a woman I was dating confessed to fooling around with another woman in college, it would \*not \*bother me. This seems to be quite common as an attitude. If women experiment with other women it’s highly attractive to heterosexual men - while if men do the same it seemingly puts a huge question mark over their sexuality for all time. Rather unfair, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/31 "2010-10-29T11:52:57Z")
> [@rostfrei](#): > > My friend is going crazy, and beginning to think about ending the relationship. She says that she just doesn’t like the idea that he has done this. She’s one of the most gay friendly people I know, so she’s not freaking out about him being gay. Your friend is a stupid conflicted moron. That guy is better off without her. ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/32 "2010-10-29T12:13:34Z")
That was, like, almost 20 years ago? And he’s dated nothing but women since? And he’s into her? Tell her to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Wouldn’t she rather be with a dude that’s completely into her and not harboring some sort of gay fantasy? He sounds like he’s ready to be upfront and honest, and wanted to make sure she knew every dark part of his past. Her appropriate response, should she have any reservations now, is to tell him rationally what her issues are. He is willing to hear them, I’d bet. Don’t be like my uncle, whose 3rd wife never knew about the 2nd wife. THAT was a horrible thing. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/33 "2010-10-29T14:47:58Z")
> [@Staggerlee](#): > > This seems to be quite common as an attitude. If women experiment with other women it’s highly attractive to heterosexual men - while if men do the same it seemingly puts a huge question mark over their sexuality for all time. Rather unfair, I think. One of very few social circumstances where women, for sure, got the long end of the stick. So to speak. 😃 (Though the whole stud/slut dichotomy kinda balances it out, imho.) By the way, OP, I for one would dearly love to know how this whole thing plays out. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/34 "2010-10-29T15:00:47Z")
I’m not sure the need for the confessional. We rarely discuss what we did with other people prior to meeting each other. After the few times I’ve divulged something about a prior lover, my husband acts surprised and a bit disturbed. I guess he thought I was a puritan before I met him, even though my freaky side is what attracted him. I’d be deeply disturbed if my husband admitted to fooling around with another guy. Not because I’m such a prude but because he’s homophobic. I can deal with experimentation easier than I can deal with blatant hypocrisy. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/35 "2010-10-29T15:10:13Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > I’m trying to think how this ‘runs it up the flagpole’ - if he says theres more in the men side of things, then he’s lied about it being ‘one time’, which will not go down well. > > If theres other stuff than that, Im trying to think what it would be that this is a good ‘test case’ for. > > Otara Good point. However, what if the next game of ‘tell me a secret’ nets that he watches porn - but not just straight porn. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/36 "2010-10-29T15:10:55Z")
Count me as another who would find it rather hot 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/37 "2010-10-29T15:16:44Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > HOT. H.O.T.T. HOT. > > Would he consider doing it again? > > If so, could I maybe watch?? This. My fiance is strongly encouraged to mess around with other guys, but sadly, he remains completely straight. ☹ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/38 "2010-10-29T15:18:32Z")
What pisses me off the most about this whole scenario is that she told you. He tells her a secret that no one knows but him, in trust, and she runs right off to tell another friend? That would and does piss me off. She is the one who obviously can’t be trusted. Did she even check with him to see if it would be OK to share his secret? What a nasty thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/39 "2010-10-29T17:49:25Z")
I’m with Anaamika. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-dump-guy-if-he-admitted-to-sex-w-a-guy/558710/40 "2010-10-29T17:54:31Z")
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