# Ladies: Would you get involved with a Saudi Arabian man? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 4, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616 "2012-09-04T04:59:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/121 "2012-09-10T22:12:01Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > \ > I kind of sympathize with his situation if he doesn’t have a good relationship with his wife (which is what he said) This guy is heading into walking stereotype territory - that’s what guys who are looking to cheat say, regardless of the reality. > [@](#): > > but I sympathize with her more, because he’s off doing whatever he wants and living more of a bachelor lifestyle than most bachelors, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t get to do anything like that.\ That does seem likely. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/122 "2012-09-10T22:34:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > This guy is heading into walking stereotype territory - that’s what guys who are looking to cheat say, regardless of the reality. Of course. But given the fact that he probably didn’t get much of a chance to get to know his wife before getting married, it’s easy to believe it could be true. And for most Americans I’d say if your marriage is that bad, end it, but in this case, that would likely leave her in a worse position with even fewer options. But I guess maybe he could end it and choose to not screw her over, even though his government would let him if he wanted to. Anyway, he can’t have it both ways. If he’s going to go along with his culture then he can’t date liberal American women. And he didn’t just want NSA sex. That would have at least made sense, but he wanted more. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/123 "2012-09-10T22:37:04Z")
> [@truthSeeker2](#): > > When you’ve got a Muslim women marrying a Non-Muslim man, its actually an un-Islamic marriage. The religion specifically prohibits it: > > _“They are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them”_ Quran 60:10 > _“And do not give your women in marriage to men who ascribe divinity to aught beside Allah.”_ Quran 2:221 **Johanna** , given your earlier post I’d be interested in knowing your response to this. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/124 "2012-09-10T23:20:57Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I guess, but I think that method is going to see about a 0% success rate with non-Muslim American women. Stranger things have happened. I know a couple of Americans who became second wives to Muslim Cameroonians. The heart wants what the heart wants, and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/125 "2012-09-11T04:55:05Z")
Jews don’t ascribe divinity to aught but Allah. Under liberal interpretations, People of the Book are not counted as infidels. Different passages in the Qur’an can be used to support contradictory rulings on whether Christians count as “infidels” or not. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/126 "2012-09-11T05:06:59Z")
Er. Sorry, I wasn’t clear enough. Earlier you posted this - > [@Johanna](#): > > Self-styled truth seeker, spreading disinformation. :dubious: Your false statement has already been refuted. I just wanted to add that an Arab woman I used to work with married a Catholic American man. They got married in the mosque, with the imam, because the imam approved of them getting married. And this is in one of the biggest and most prominent mosques in America. > > There’s no pope in Islam. No central dogma clearinghouse. Rulings of religious law come down to whose arguments are more persuasive to more people. Similar to what I’ve heard about Halakhic jurisprudence. If an imam can articulate a cogent argument of how to interpret some law differently, and convince enough people, then that can become considered a legitimate ruling. In the real world, of course, the rulers of countries often try to dictate which interpretation of Islam is legitimate and it gets politicized. Also, they used to say that the “gates of _ijtihad_” (independent juristic reasoning) were “closed” a thousand years ago, freezing in place the prior established body of legal rulings. Except that in the modern world, many Muslim thinkers and legists have had to confront changed conditions and new problems by reopening the gates and beginning to > think independently again. And, **truthseeker** responded with a cite. I was wondering which of you was right. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/127 "2012-09-11T05:47:29Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Stranger things have happened. I know a couple of Americans who became second wives to Muslim Cameroonians. The heart wants what the heart wants, and all that. Did they convert to Islam? ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/128 "2012-09-11T11:28:52Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Of course. But given the fact that he probably didn’t get much of a chance to get to know his wife before getting married, it’s easy to believe it could be true. I think about 50% of saudis end up married to their cousins, so it’s more likely than you’d think. Edit: I noticed that may have sounded like a racist and made up thing to say, so here’s a cite: [Saudi Arabia's cousin-marriage epidemic \* WorldNetDaily \* by WND Staff](http://www.wnd.com/2005/05/30246/) - it’s 60% actually. This is a problem in the UK not from Saudis but many especially from Bangladesh are marrying their cousins and as they don’t understand genetics being a huge drain on the public health system. ---
**Author:** ![StJoan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@StJoan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StJoan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/129 "2012-09-11T12:20:31Z")
To answer the OP - no. I would not. Their cultural ties are too strong, and the advantages that their misogynist religion bestows on them too significant, for them to shed that baggage easily. The same goes for Indians (including once-upon-a-time Indians, like Pakistanis, Bangladeshis etc.) and for men from the Orient (Japan, China etc.). Be as nice to them as you would to any other human being, but it is safest to avoid emotional involvement. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/130 "2012-09-11T20:05:28Z")
> [@bldysabba](#): > > I was wondering which of you was right. Mulder said “The truth is out there.” Johanna says “The truth is all over the place.” Because religious authority in Islam is decentralized, _there is no one answer_ to almost all questions like these. ---
**Author:** ![Loveforever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Loveforever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loveforever)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/131 "2012-09-21T02:36:19Z")
It happened with me the same story. But, I am the Saudi guy who is really likes my English teacher just to hang out with her and have her as friend because I want to open conversation and improve my English with someone I like. Also, to get rid of the homesick that is ruining me. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/132 "2012-09-21T02:52:59Z")
Lot’s of generalizing going on, but this guy is an individual. Many Americans (myself included) have ancestors who immigrated because they didn’t agree with the philosophy of their home countries and sought a better/freer life here. Get to know him and give him a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/133 "2012-09-21T03:05:21Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > Lot’s of generalizing going on, but this guy is an individual. Many Americans (myself included) have ancestors who immigrated because they didn’t agree with the philosophy of their home countries and sought a better/freer life here. Get to know him and give him a chance. Didn’t read the whole thread, did we? OP did give him a chance and went on a “getting to know you” date with him. And found he’s married with kids and believes women are “happier” staying at home and not working. But don’t let that get in the way of your lecture! ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/134 "2012-09-21T03:07:28Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > And found he’s married with kids and believes women are “happier” staying at home and not working. A lot of men of all nationalities think that. Seriously I think some of you must live in the women’s studies department of a major university 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/135 "2012-09-21T03:11:04Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > Didn’t read the whole thread, did we? > > OP did give him a chance and went on a “getting to know you” date with him. > > And found he’s married with kids and believes women are “happier” staying at home and not working. > > But don’t let that get in the way of your lecture! Ha! No, scanned it only. Guilty as charged. If that’s so, OP-move on. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/136 "2012-09-21T03:14:05Z")
> [@grude](#): > > A lot of men of all nationalities think that. Seriously I think some of you must live in the women’s studies department of a major university 🙂 What’s your point? Blackberry was concerned that this guy’s culturally conservative upbringing would lead to his having beliefs that are inconsistent with hers, including the belief that women shouldn’t want to work or drive or be independent. It’s not about “a lot of men of all nationalities” it’s about this guy of this particular nationality and whether he’d be compatible with _her_ beliefs and cultural behaviours - and her concerns were well-founded, because it appears they’re not. And what the hell does being concerned about someone from a known conservative culture having conservative beliefs about a woman’s place in the home have to do with “some of [us living] in the women’s studies department of a major university”? You have a problem with women wanting to find out upfront if someone is going to try and insist they stay at home and be little more than a sex toy and housekeeper for them? ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/137 "2012-09-21T03:32:01Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > What’s your point? > > Blackberry was concerned that this guy’s culturally conservative upbringing would lead to his having beliefs that are inconsistent with hers, including the belief that women shouldn’t want to work or drive or be independent. > > It’s not about “a lot of men of all nationalities” it’s about this guy of this particular nationality and whether he’d be compatible with _her_ beliefs and cultural behaviours - and her concerns were well-founded, because it appears they’re not. > > And what the hell does being concerned about someone from a known conservative culture having conservative beliefs about a woman’s place in the home have to do with “some of [us living] in the women’s studies department of a major university”? You have a problem with women wanting to find out upfront if someone is going to try and insist they stay at home and be little more than a sex toy and housekeeper for them? The point is that even most american men are going to have SOME misogynist beliefs, or think that women are happier or at home or blah blah blah. If the guy’s biggest flaw is thinking women are HAPPIER staying at home then he isn’t too bad by most standards. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/138 "2012-09-21T03:39:21Z")
Dude still keeps contacting me all the time too, btw. He’s acting nice about it, but not really because I told him I’m not interested and he’s not respecting that. He just wants a chance to “explain” everything, which I assume means try to change my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Loveforever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Loveforever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loveforever)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/139 "2012-09-21T03:44:08Z")
blackberry you did not read my comment It happened with me the same story. But, I am the Saudi guy who is really likes my English teacher just to hang out with her and have her as friend because I want to open conversation and improve my English with someone I like. Also, to get rid of the homesick that is ruining me. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616/140 "2012-09-21T03:47:19Z")
> [@Loveforever](#): > > blackberry you did not read my comment > It happened with me the same story. But, I am the Saudi guy who is really likes my English teacher just to hang out with her and have her as friend because I want to open conversation and improve my English with someone I like. Also, to get rid of the homesick that is ruining me. Okay, but are you really only interested in her as a friend? Are you married? Do you think your views on gender roles are compatible with those of a typical American woman? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-get-involved-with-a-saudi-arabian-man/633616.md?page=8)