# Ladies: Would you pay for sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 13, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980 "2001-08-13T02:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/21 "2001-08-15T10:51:39Z")
Nope, not in this lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/22 "2001-08-15T13:51:57Z")
Considering all of the conditions that have been set down in the OP ("…man (or men!) of your choice, guaranteed disease-free and non-fertile, for anything from a really good back rub to a night of indulging your wildest fantasies. And let’s even say that the rates were reasonable.")… Why in the living hell not? I would be more than willing to pay a reasonable fee for a man (or men) whom I’ve picked as the hunkiest of the lot, who is disease-free and sterile, to spend a couple of hours making sure I get off as much as is in his capability. Hell yeah. Yes, I _can_ get that for free right now. Thing is, I love my husband and all. I love rye bread too, but that doesn’t mean sourdough once in a while isn’t a nice treat. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Aurora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Aurora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aurora)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/23 "2001-08-15T14:06:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by voguevixen \* > \*\*I can’t believe this thread has dropped already! I think everyone’s too chicken to say “I would!” so: > > I would! > > Granted, like Scratchie, I’m pretty tightfisted with the money, but given the scenario outlined in the OP (and that I was in a different marital situation) I’d probably be curious enough to give it a try. (Being able to pick and choose as to what you’re in the mood for has a great deal of appeal to me!) > > If I had to troll around a seedy neighborhood waiting for desperate heroin addicts to approach my car, like some guys actually do now, then no thanks. I fail to see the appeal in that! \*\* Same here. I couldn’t have put it any better. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/24 "2001-08-15T14:20:56Z")
If I was single, or my husband gave me permission: Drop of a hat. Like I’ve said before, I’m a woman of strange proclivities, and have been unable in my 28 years to find a man to satisfy those proclivities. I assume that if I give a guy $1,000 he’ll be willing to pull my hair or call me bitch at least. And sex with a stranger has always been an intriguing concept to me. So we could have the bondage and anonymity in one fell swoop. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/25 "2001-08-15T14:46:44Z")
I go two ways on this: One is that I love my husband and there’s no way I’d ever go out on him for something as meaningless as sex with a stranger. However, if I was single or if hubby got some kinky fetish of knowing I’d been with a stranger (yeah, that might happen…and monkeys might fly out of my butt!)…maybe. I’m kind of running along **jarbaby’s** lines for something out of the ordinary, where you find it’s not as embarrassing to ask a stranger to do something kinky as it is someone you have to face every day. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/26 "2001-08-15T15:07:20Z")
I find this interesting because I have female friends who have flat-out told me that sometimes “I just wanna _fuck_.” I’m guessing this is in line with what **jarbaby** said, but it certainly wasn’t a rarity among the women, as most chimed in “Yeah, I know what you mean.” (And no, they didn’t turn to me for service. Drat!) I was under the assumption that the reason women didn’t just go out and pick up random guys was because of the freaky-deeky nature of some of the guys in bars that they might pick up and not having control of the situation/risk factor, but perhaps a “service” would offer the clean, no-strings-attached/safe kinda thing that they were looking for. 'Course, there is the double stigma of “women who have sex with strangers = whores/sluts” added to the “sex with prostitutes = wrong/disgusting” so it makes sense that women would have a harder time with this than men, who only have to deal with the “sex with pros” stigma. IMO. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/27 "2001-08-15T15:17:53Z")
jarbabyj and BunnyGirl gave interesting responses - I guess I’d throw out there that your current SOs may be more willing to satisfy your “strange proclivities” than you think - have you let your desires be known? Maybe I’m unbelievably lucky (well, I know I am in some regards to my SO, maybe this is just icing on the cake), but my SO and I don’t keep anything back when it comes to our desires - it all at least gets brought up. Somethings are best if they remain fantasies, but I don’t think you should be ashamed of telling your SO about them. Suppose your SO was just aching to pull your hair and call you a bitch? You’d get the thrill and sexual excitment of having that desire fulfilled, PLUS the incredible charge that would come with having fulfilled by someone you have a deep and abiding emotional relationship with - the best of all possible worlds. Now, where did I put my crop and jodhpurs… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/28 "2001-08-15T15:36:50Z")
trust me. He’s been told. He thinks I’m a total freak, and informs me that he loves me too much to treat me badly. And in the end, I’d rather be married to someone who does satisfy me and loves me and is my best friend than someone who’s just a wild fantasy fuck. But I will always regret not getting that fantasy fuck 😃 jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/29 "2001-08-15T15:44:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Suppose your SO was just aching to pull your hair and call you a bitch? Bwahaahahaah! Good one, **plnnr** , good one. Naw, I’m teasing you; yeah, we have good communication and a great sex life, but I just know that there are certain things that bring about the “are you a freak?” look. :sigh: And really, I’m not a total deav or desiring anything freaky - just wouldn’t mind some stuff that’s totally **not** in his range of personality traits. What can you do? [sub]But just a little domination might be nice sometime, ya know? :p[/sub] Boy, **jar** , do we have some stuff to talk about at ChiDope! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/30 "2001-08-15T15:50:48Z")
and while we’re at it: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > You’d get the thrill and sexual excitment of having that desire fulfilled, PLUS the incredible charge that would come with having fulfilled by someone you have a deep and abiding emotional relationship with - the best of all possible worlds. But you’re forgetting the other part: sex with a stranger. A complete and total stranger. Dangerous in the real world? You bet. but exciting none the less. Sometimes, like thinksnow said, I’d like no emotional connection at all, just be a dirty slut for a while. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/31 "2001-08-15T16:14:22Z")
Here’s how we got around that last bit (at least somewhat) - It started with each of us making a list called the “I Want” list. We each listed everything and anything that came might be even remotely possible and then traded lists. Now, I have a list of things she’s thought about and can go about making the things on that list come true, or at least partially true. The exciting part is that you never really know when the ordinary, garden-variety encounter may lead to something getting checked off your list. For instance, I wrote down that I wanted to bring her to orgasm, full-clothed, in a public place (I can’t believe I’m sharing this with you folks, but there you have it). One night we went to an outdoor concert by Roberta Flack. There were probably 10,000 other people in the park - laying on blankets, sitting in chairs, a very mellow and romantic evening. A few glasses of wine, a discrete toke or two, and before you know it I’m very gently, but very persistently, runniny my hand along her thigh (full clothed). Let’s just say that I got to check that particular item off my list - we both enjoyed the hell out of it. Her list included an encounter with a stranger. One day, knowing that she would be home, I took off from work and dressed just for the occassion - jeans, workboots, tee shirt, got the toolbelt out of the garage, a hardhat I got at a groundbreaking, didn’t shave. Went over to her house, completely unexpected, and knocked on the door. She answered, sees me in my role, and goes with it. Knowing what I did about her desires, I was able to “play my part” and it worked out incredibly for both of us. It is all about fun, remember. And you’re limited only by your own imagination. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/32 "2001-08-15T16:46:12Z")
plnnr, that’s nice that you and your wife both have fun and funky desires. But what I’m telling you is that I’ve sat down with my husband and said, “All I ever want ever in the world is for you to tie me up, to use a blindfold, handcuffs, candle wax, a gag, anything. I want to be your bitch. Even just once.” I told him that four years ago. He told me he will never do it. So there we have it. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/33 "2001-08-15T16:56:45Z")
\ Blindfold? Check Cuffs? Check Candle? Check Gag? Does a black silk sash count? What’s your address? I’ll drop them in a Fed Ex pouch addressed to your husband. “What the hell?” he’ll say, with a puzzled look on his face. The rest I leave in your capable hands. ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/34 "2001-08-15T17:04:26Z")
**BunnyGirl** > [@](#): > > One is that I love my husband and there’s no way I’d ever go out on him for something as meaningless as **sex with a stranger**. OK, then, how about sex with… Nah, I won’t say it. Too obvious. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/35 "2001-08-15T17:35:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Strainger \* > \*\ ***BunnyGirl** > > > [@](#): > > > > One is that I love my husband and there’s no way I’d ever go out on him for something as meaningless as **sex with a stranger**. > > OK, then, how about sex with… > > Nah, I won’t say it. Too obvious. \*\* Bwaahaaha! Snort, chuckle. You got me. That was funny! ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/36 "2001-08-15T19:48:13Z")
I’m with **Cyndar**. Absolutely not. Ever. Also from a woman who may never have sex again in her lifetime. For me, sex is not just sex. I will not share my body with someone that I do not have a shared emotional relationship with. No, I’m not a prude, I’ve had ‘just sex’ too many times in my life, and realized later on that it’s just _better_ when there is emotion attached to it. Period. So. No. I would not ever pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/37 "2001-08-15T19:59:54Z")
What if I just asked you to buy me dinner, **Ginger**? 😉 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/38 "2001-08-15T20:31:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*What if I just asked you to buy me dinner, **Ginger**? > 😉 😛 \*\* My God, you’re easy. I thought I was actually going to have to get out the maple syrup, bake for you, or put you up at my place during a ski trip. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/39 "2001-08-15T20:34:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > > \*\*What if I just asked you to buy me dinner, **Ginger**? > > 😉 😛 \*\* > > My God, you’re easy. I thought I was actually going to have to get out the maple syrup, bake for you, or put you up at my place during a ski trip. \*\* He’ll take those too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980/40 "2001-08-15T20:42:44Z")
How much do you charge? [sub] **I can’t believe nobody said that!** [/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-would-you-pay-for-sex/75980.md?page=3)