# Ladies... Your thoughts on Gay Porn **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 11, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443 "2006-05-11T23:57:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/41 "2006-05-13T04:53:15Z")
> [@Ea\_calendula](#): > > I haven’t read BL or YAOI really (I think maybe you equate the two - no?) hard to come by in Denmark if you don’t want to buy it from overseas and pay import taxes and I’m perfectly happy with all the free slash I can find on the Internet. But it was my impression that YAOI was rather romantic and sweet (besides the graphic sex) I have most of my knowledge about YAOI from [this page](http://www.aestheticism.com/visitors/reference/aestheticism.htm). Yes, if you read that page, you will see that Yaoi is used by Americans to refer to what the Japanese refer to as Boys Love or BL. Since I like to buy off of Japanese websites, I prefer to use the Japanese terms. It links to [this page](http://www.aestheticism.com/visitors/reference/jpnse_def/index.htm) which explains > [@](#): > > Many Westerners use yaoi as an umbrella term to mean any story that includes any male/male relationship and is linked to Japan - commercial manga, anime, games, game-based slash fiction, English fan fiction, fan art, etc. just as BL is used as an umbrella term in Japan. In Japan the term yaoi is limited to doujinshi and sex scenes, because of its negative connotations. Referring to a commercial work as yaoi may be considered offensive. Referring to a commercial BL, Lady’s, or shoujo mangaka as a yaoi mangaka may also be offensive. At this past Yaoi Con, we had a whole debate on what should be considered “yaoi” and what should be considered “slash” since the two overlap. A lot of women said that for them, where the subject matter comes from determines if it is yaoi or BL. For example, a story written by Americans about Star Trek is slash, while a fan drawn comic featuring characters from Gundam Wing is yaoi/BL. This can get confused when you consider things like a Japanese comic featuring characters from Lord of the Rings - some consider it slash and some consider it yaoi/BL. If you are interested in checking it out, there is a livejournal community called [yaoi\_daily](http://community.livejournal.com/yaoi_daily/) where people post scans and scanlations of various BL works - both the soft romantic stuff and the hardcore porn. It changes daily, so sometimes I see a lot of stuff I like and sometimes I don’t see anything for a while. Another good place to go is Aarin Fantasy’s message board. Queuing, I’ve seen guys do that at anime cons. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/42 "2006-05-13T05:17:41Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > Do ladies feel the same way about Gay Porn as men feel about Lesbian porn? Some of us do, yes. I’m a straight woman who spent her 20s almost entirely in the gay community: I had a gay best friend who wasn’t comfortable with the straight scene, so I hung out in her world. We went to bars and clubs pretty regularly, and I soon learned that the sight of two hot guys being hot with each other was pretty … well … _hot_. Good gay porn rocks, just like good straight porn rocks. And it’s definitely true that the men in gay porn tend to be hotter than the men in straight porn, plus they get more screen time (duh). Slash does nothing for me – in fact it’s actually a turnoff. I’d never heard of yaoi before this thread, but it doesn’t sound like my thing: I’m not into men with boyish builds, and again the slash element seems to be there. > [@](#): > > I’m sure that the majority of women dont like porn, period Every time I come across that ridiculous stereotype I’m amazed that it’s still around. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/43 "2006-05-13T05:27:57Z")
I’m a long-time slash reader and huge yaoi fan (I have maybe 500+ Japanese manga and magazines) but gay porn doesn’t do much for me. I find it moderately _interesting_ but not a turn on. I read yaoi and slash partly for the male sex but more and more (as I get older) for the relationships and porn of any flavor doesn’t usually feature much character development. Plus, I’m not a huge fan of really big beefy guys (although I do have some interesting manga featuring beefy guys). I prefer gay themed movies with romance like the aforementioned _Maurice_, _My Beautiful Laundrete_, _Latter Days_, and even _Brokeback Mountain_ to actual gay porn. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/44 "2006-05-13T10:35:48Z")
> [@Ea\_calendula](#): > > Eh, where was I? Oh, slash, Maurice… Yeah, wonderful film. Unfortunately it seems to have been a bit neglected or something, since I’ve only been able to find one small piece of fanfic about ‘Maurice’ (besides the one I wrote myself). No fandon there apparently. I didn’t know anybody wrote Maurice fic. Is this with Alec, or Clive? If you don’t want to post links, can you please email me? Thanks! I don’t know why it isn’t more popular. It’s one of the few gay romances I know of that has a happy ending. Maybe because of the Edwardian setting? As I said above, the Merchant-Ivory-ness is part of what appeals to me; I tend to think of it and _Room With a View_, another of my favorite films, as counterparts, in that the hero/heroine breaks with rigid societal expectations and runs off with the man he/she loves. Plus, any movie with naked Rupert Graves in it can’t go too wrong. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ea\_calendula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Ea\_calendula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ea_calendula)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/45 "2006-05-13T10:59:21Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > Yes, if you read that page, you will see that Yaoi is used by Americans to refer to what the Japanese refer to as Boys Love or BL. Since I like to buy off of Japanese websites, I prefer to use the Japanese terms. It links to [this page](http://www.aestheticism.com/visitors/reference/jpnse_def/index.htm) which explains > At this past Yaoi Con, we had a whole debate on what should be considered “yaoi” and what should be considered “slash” since the two overlap. A lot of women said that for them, where the subject matter comes from determines if it is yaoi or BL. For example, a story written by Americans about Star Trek is slash, while a fan drawn comic featuring characters from Gundam Wing is yaoi/BL. This can get confused when you consider things like a Japanese comic featuring characters from Lord of the Rings - some consider it slash and some consider it yaoi/BL. > > If you are interested in checking it out, there is a livejournal community called [yaoi\_daily](http://community.livejournal.com/yaoi_daily/) where people post scans and scanlations of various BL works - both the soft romantic stuff and the hardcore porn. It changes daily, so sometimes I see a lot of stuff I like and sometimes I don’t see anything for a while. Another good place to go is Aarin Fantasy’s message board. Thanks for the links and for explaining 🙂 I find it confusing since I’m don’t read it much, but I thought BL was a sort of sub genre. And on a related note; I’ve read definitions of ‘slash’ that goes from ‘fanfiction depicting a sexual/romantic relationship between two men that are het in canon’ to ‘gay romance/erotica/porn’. I’m leaning towards the latter, though I still think it has to fanfiction to count as slash. ---
**Author:** ![Ea\_calendula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Ea\_calendula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ea_calendula)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/46 "2006-05-13T11:43:51Z")
> [@Miss Mapp](#): > > I didn’t know anybody wrote Maurice fic. Is this with Alec, or Clive? > … > I don’t know why it isn’t more popular. It’s one of the few gay romances I know of that has a happy ending. Maybe because of the Edwardian setting? As I said above, the Merchant-Ivory-ness is part of what appeals to me; I tend to think of it and _Room With a View_, another of my favorite films, as counterparts, in that the hero/heroine breaks with rigid societal expectations and runs off with the man he/she loves. Plus, any movie with naked Rupert Graves in it can’t go too wrong. 🙂 Your’e in luck. I contacted the author yesterday and she gave me a link to a small collection of other Maurice fics that she has written. I’ve put links to that and the one I mentioned [here](http://ea.calendula.googlepages.com/links) (scroll down two-thirds and look for **Finesse**.) I’ve wondered about the lack of Maurice fanfiction myself. Maybe the book is a bit too old and the author too highbrow or something - but then there’s still the film and it’s not as if it’s completely unknown. Maybe it’s just on of those things. I read Maurice when I was 16 and loved it. My own fic is mostly about Clive and an original character - if you read it please keep in mind that English is my second language and it’s one of the first fics I’ve written - it’s not like it’s the greatest piece of writing the world has ever seen (but since there’s no fandom it’s difficult to find a beta reader and it will have to do as it is). Btw. there’s a new remastered wide-screen edition of the film out on DVD now. It should be really great and have lots of interesting extras. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/47 "2006-05-13T17:51:42Z")
> [@Ea\_calendula](#): > > Your’e in luck. I contacted the author yesterday and she gave me a link to a small collection of other Maurice fics that she has written. I’ve put links to that and the one I mentioned [here](http://ea.calendula.googlepages.com/links) (scroll down two-thirds and look for **Finesse**.) Thanks! > [@Ea\_calendula](#): > > Btw. there’s a new remastered wide-screen edition of the film out on DVD now. It should be really great and have lots of interesting extras. I bought a DVD of it last year… don’t know if it’s the same edition. It’s a nice, 2-disc set with deleted scenes (mostly about the Viscount Risley subplot) and cast interviews. Either James Wilby or Hugh Grant–I can’t remember which–tells a funny little story about how they were rehearsing their kissing at the Grant home, and Hugh’s brother walked in on them. I was also amused that all three of the key actors, Wilby, Grant, and Graves, felt they had to say “I’m straight” right at the beginning of their interviews. ---
**Author:** ![Ea\_calendula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Ea\_calendula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ea_calendula)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/48 "2006-05-14T18:57:13Z")
> [@Miss Mapp](#): > > Thanks! You’re welcome 🙂 > [@Miss Mapp](#): > > I bought a DVD of it last year… don’t know if it’s the same edition. It’s a nice, 2-disc set with deleted scenes (mostly about the Viscount Risley subplot) and cast interviews. Either James Wilby or Hugh Grant–I can’t remember which–tells a funny little story about how they were rehearsing their kissing at the Grant home, and Hugh’s brother walked in on them. That was the one I meant - guess I meant ‘new’ in a relative sense… I can’t afford it right now - but I WILL have to get it soon. > [@Miss Mapp](#): > > I was also amused that all three of the key actors, Wilby, Grant, and Graves, felt they had to say “I’m straight” right at the beginning of their interviews. He - the straight-guy knee-jerk reaction. So common. Why can’t they just relax a little? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/49 "2006-05-14T22:40:00Z")
So, now I’m curious, for those lesbians that liked gay male porn because lesbian porn was hetero male targeted (this I get), how do you feel about some of the exhibitionist stuff on the internet such as [BeautifulAgony.com](http://BeautifulAgony.com), I find that far more interesting than ANY porn, even without nudity (not safe for work though). Straight male BTW. And for those Ewan McGregor fans allow me to recommend The Pillow Book. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/50 "2006-05-15T00:06:19Z")
Most straight women I know looove boy-on-boy action (to the surprise of guy friends, straight and gay), but laugh at mainstream porn, gay and straight. But the same way straight guys are into experimental college girls and long-haired ‘lesbians’ who are only too eager to pleasure men, my girlfriends seem to be into straight-seeming guys who, oops, start making out. They don’t need to see penetration (though implied a la **Brokeback Mountain** is a-ok). ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/51 "2006-05-15T04:22:28Z")
> [@Ea\_calendula](#): > > You’re welcome 🙂 > > He - the straight-guy knee-jerk reaction. So common. Why can’t they just relax a little? Because if they don’t add the “I’m straight” disclaimer, they’re liable to find themselves on the cover of every supermarket tabloid in the industrialised world with a headline like **“HUGH GRANT FAILS TO DENY GAY RUMOURS”**. Sure, you and I might not give a pair of dingo’s kidneys whether someone’s straight, gay, bi, or has a romantic abnormality involving sealife, but that sort of thing can (negatively) affect people’s careers and standings in less enlightened circles. In short, I can see _why_ they have to do it, but it’s a shame they have to. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443/52 "2006-05-15T04:27:14Z")
In Grants case, considering his history, you could make the argument that relaxing was not a problem. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ladies-your-thoughts-on-gay-porn/356443.md?page=2)