Don’t get to thinking that way, Qadgop. You did everything you could have done, at great personal risk. It might not be a bad idea to talk to somebody to help you work through it. It’s the kinda thing that’s gonna be on your mind for a while.
I know it’s especially hard for a doctor to take care of himself. But try to think of what you would advise one of your patients were he in this situation. Talking to a counselor or therapist is probably a good idea right now.
Qadgop, I hope that if I’m ever in a situation that calls for even part of the bravery and heroism you showed I’d be up to the challenge, but I fear I might fall short.
I can’t imagine how you must feel at finding her already gone. And then being the one to tell the family.
My heart goes out to them and to you. Scant comfort though it may be, always take heart in that when it counted, you stepped up and did what was needed.
Oh, it’s less than 72 hours since the event, and I think I’m dealing pretty much normally, frankly. It was just a very unfortunate choice of movies to watch.
If it turns into a chronic issue, I know who to talk to.
Qadgop, don’t do this to yourself. If her spirit could talk to you, she would say “Thank you for trying to save me.”
Face it, you could have died. I always wonder what I would do if faced with such a situation and I hope I never have to find out. I like to think I would have the courage to do the right thing. But I’ll never know until that moment.
You know!
Please, if this keeps bothering you, get some professional help.
ETA several posts while I was slowly typing mine. Sounds like you’re handling it well.
Absolutely. Right now it’s very, very normal.
Besides, three close friends are pshrinks, and I’ve already used each of them for venting purposes. I’m very proactive when it comes to unburdening myself and burdening others. 
Have you had any surprising reactions over it? When my brother-in-law lost the tip of his finger due to his co-worker being a drunken waste of skin (while they were working with a wood chipper, no less), I couldn’t believe how angry that made me. Surprised the hell out of me.
That poor family. The image of them standing there on the beach waiting is heartbreaking.
You’re a good man QtM.
No anger. No surprising reactions that I can figure out. I certainly am not angry at the dad. He was ignorant about the danger, he thought the kids were perfectly safe in the shallows with him right there. He just didn’t know what the wind could do, and didn’t really consider what they were doing as boating, but rather just splashing around with toys in shallow water, where all were within easy reach. And 99.9% of the time he’d have been right.
The dad is just driving himself, trying to locate his daughter’s body. He’s hardly slept or eaten. I’ve spoken with him on a number of occasions, and he’s an example of pitiable and incomprehensible demoralization.
That is just so freaking sad. My heart goes out to them and to you. How gut-wrenching. I’ll be sure to hug my wee ones a little tighter going forward.
Bravo and well done, Qadgop. Yours is an example for all of us to live up to. I’m only sorry your valour was not rewarded properly; it was still the right thing to do.
My heart goes out to you and the family of the girl. How awful to find yourself in that situation,but how generous of you to risk your own life. And your poor wife…how scared was she,standing on the shore and seeing you capsize,and not knowing if you were safe or not?
I just can’t imagine. I look at my little girl (admittedly only 16 months old) and I…there really aren’t words.
You did everything you could and then some. You’re a good man.
Just want to add my voice to those thanking you for acting bravely.
My heart goes out to her family, and also to you.
Lucky thing there, it was too far out for her to see. The sheriff on shore watching with binoculars and giving directions to the rescue boats saw me capsize, and radioed that I was in the water, but my wife didn’t catch that part.
I’m just glad you had the sense to realize you couldn’t make it back to shore under your own power and so you stuck with the kayak and waited for rescue.
No real change here, no body found.
But the family did hold a beautiful candlelight vigil on the beach Saturday night, with remembrances of Sofia, thanks to us locals for our help in the effort, and lots of tears all around. It was very moving. It also turned into a bit of a mixed muslim-christian-unitarian-iluvataran prayer session, a thing I’d never think would come to pass in our area. Local Christians, including members of a local church which had been vehemently opposed to allowing a mosque to open in the neighborhood, attended and listened respectfully while readings from the Koran were shared, then shared their own thoughts/prayers.
It was all very hopeful, honestly. Shared grief can overcome a lot.
God, what an awful situation. I would have gone after her, too, without taking time to look for a PFD.
I lived along the shores of Lake Michigan for a few years in high school. The water never really warms up much. I remember going water skiing once. We took a power boat out a fair distance and took turns trying to ski. None of us were wearing wet suits or anything. When I first got in, the cold of the water went through me like a knife–even though it was the middle of summer. Also, I got completely disoriented as my visibility decreased due to the wave action. It was a lot rougher than it looked. It was actually pretty unnerving. We didn’t stay out long.
I’ll add my prayers to the ones from Saturday night. I appreciate your caring.