# Lame Commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2000, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890 "2000-04-03T23:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/21 "2000-04-04T18:22:00Z")
How about that goddam creepy little Pepsi girl? Someone quietly smother that kid, please? ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/22 "2000-04-04T18:34:00Z")
That new cologne that comes in a spray bottle. I mean, a real spray bottle, like you’d use to clean your windows or mist your plants. I think it’s called “Bod”? The ads are so annoyingly bad and the product so ridiculous, I was sure I was seeing a fake. I kept waiting for someone to explode but the fireball never came. * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) [Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![aschrott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aca169/32.png) [@aschrott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aschrott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/23 "2000-04-04T18:39:00Z")
Speaking of cologne ads, what the hell was the inspiration for those CK1 commercials: _vapid cool teen guy_: “what’s up wid’ Anna, man? She keeps thinkin’ i’m gonna go out wid’ her–but I ain’t…” **???** * * * Ignorant since 1972 ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/24 "2000-04-04T18:57:00Z")
And then they post these people’s supposed e-mail addresses at the end. I want to spam them all with messages that simply say “GROW THE HELL UP!” But I’m too grown up for that 🙂 * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) [Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/25 "2000-04-04T19:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Eve: > **And has William Shatner completely lost his mind, with those price-whatever ads? Doesn’t he realize he is making a total ass of himself? Or are they paying him enough so he just doesn’t care?** When Shatner started doing the Priceline commercials, he took stock options in lieu of a high salary. He has made tens of millions on that project, based on that decision. He’s not completely out to lunch, in other words. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/26 "2000-04-04T19:55:00Z")
BTW, and FWIW, I used priceline to get two lobsters for nine bucks. That’s wholesale pricing, not bad at all. > [@](#): > > How about that goddam creepy little Pepsi girl? Someone quietly smother that kid, please? Me first! If she came into my resturant and got a Coke and tried those voices, I’d tell her, hey! shut the fuck up and drink your coke! You want Pepsi? go somewhere where they have lower standards! * * * Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/27 "2000-04-04T20:24:00Z")
Has anyone ever seen a commercial for an item called “Snackummms”? It’s terrible. I really thought it was a fake commercial the entire time, waiting for that anti-smoking campaign thing to come up. (those are fairly clever commercials. . . the ones that look real until someone explodes) I mean, the food is called “Snackummms”! How fake is that!? I also hate that commercial with all the people quoting the Robert Frost “Two roads diverge in a yellow woods” poem ('course, I really hate that poem) where the little girl starts flying at the end. I don’t get it. * * * “I need the biggest seed bell you have. . . no, that’s too big.”–Hans Moleman ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Incognito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guy_incognito/32/3920_2.png) [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/28 "2000-04-04T21:00:00Z")
Damn, we were talking about lame commercials and I forgot to mention all phone ads ever made by Michael Jordan and Terry Bradshaw. MJ’s kind of a whore anyway and we’re all used to seeing him endorse everything, but he should at least spend some of his money and take some speech lessons. As for Bradshaw, if there was a company that would sponsor having him publicly flogged I would definitely buy their product and possibly invest in their stock. Geez, he used to be a helluva quarterback, but now I suspect he may have been playing without his helmet. * * * “It’s only common sense, There are no accidents 'round here.” ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/29 "2000-04-04T21:14:00Z")
Add me to the list of folks who’d like to see that little Pepsi mutant vaporized. Here’s a thought-- those ads have been on for what, a couple of years now? She hasn’t grown, or changed in any discernable way… something ain’t right. * * * Gamera is really neat, he is full of turtle meat, we’ve been eating Gam-er-aaaa… ---
**Author:** ![Thirsty4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Thirsty4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirsty4)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/30 "2000-04-04T21:29:00Z")
The Welches grape juice girl must die. Is it just me or is something about her face not quite right? * * * “You CAN’T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many ‘bad’ things you do on purpose, you MUST be doing it because you think it’s the right thing to do.” ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/31 "2000-04-05T02:08:00Z")
Here’s an amusing anecdote for you. Remember those McDonalds radio commercials that had the happy bouncy music and giggling in the background, then the announcer saying “In case you haven’t noticed, McDonald’s Happy Meals just got even happier!” followed by several silly voices, presumably the Happy Meals, shouting “Whoopeeeee!!!”? Remember those? Well, at that time, I was employed at a carlot. Part of my job was to take down information about the cars we had just gotten in. So, I’m inspecting an SUV that had a digital odometer. Unbeknownst to me, the last person who drove this vehicle had left the radio volume way up, and the radio station they had tuned to was in the process of broadcasting that very commercial. So, as I was turning the key in the ignition to see the mileage, the radio came on as well, and blasting out from the speakers came a massive _ **"WHOOOOOPEEEEEEE!!!"** _ I jumped, got my ankle stuck between the seat and the door, fell backwards out of the vehicle, and twisted my ankle. Ever since that day, I have sworn eternal vengeance upon the driver of that SUV, and McDonald’s advertising firm. * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/32 "2000-04-05T02:22:00Z")
Andros said: [QUOTE] **The cute babies in the fucking tire commercials look like they’d be really good with mustard and relish.** [QUOTE] I agree. * * * **Martin.** It’s what’s for dinner. _Brought to you by **IATeALeC** _\* \ ***I** ndiana **A** cademy **Te** en **A** ssociation for the **Le** galization of **C** annibalism. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernXYL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@SouthernXYL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernXYL)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/33 "2000-04-05T02:52:00Z")
The Pepsi girl says people recognize her in public and ask her to do the “voice.” Uhh … that isn’t really me … I like the AFLAC commercial with the duck or goose. “AFLAC! AFLAAAC!” It cracks us up. What bugs me is a very common grammatical error that I hear on radio ads: “Blank store is having their third annual blank sale.” Well, if “store” is singular then it’s having ITS sale, and if plural then they ARE having their sale. Make up your mind. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/34 "2000-04-05T03:07:00Z")
I think I already mentioned this in a “lame products” thread, but the frozen cookies pre-scored into cookie size chunks for lame-os too stupid to use the Pillsbury dough in a tube. This whiter-than-white family is trying to funk out in their kitchen to the tune of some KC and the Sunshine Band ripoff band singing “Bake, bake, bake! Bake, bake, bake! Bake some cookies!!!” While they orgasmicly bake and eat these inane cookies! I want to puke whenever I see it! (and for good measure: !!!) ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/35 "2000-04-05T07:18:00Z")
The one that REALLY p\*ssed me off was for that huge chain of cards & stores (I do not want to give them a free ad, so I won’t mention the name), which had women checking out the BACK of the freakin cards. It was saying; the thought doesn’t matter, just the price. I’ve boycotted them since… Or how about the REAL rude parking valet who wouldn’t park the car, as it was reserved for (some piece of crap)& them slammed the car door. If I ever ran into that valet, he would have that smarmy smile wiped off his face in a hurry… ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/36 "2000-04-05T10:45:00Z")
re: the Hyundai ad… dosent it say somewhere in small print “please dont do this” during the ad?? * * * \*\*Id rather be no one than someone with no one \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/37 "2000-04-05T12:34:00Z")
If the Pepsie girl and the Welch’s girl had a fight to the death with pool cues, who would win? Why, all of us, of course. P.S. any commercial that simply has the clackety clack sound of a keyboard and wants you to read their computer screen is aggravating to me. Bucky ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/38 "2000-04-05T20:27:00Z")
The khaki pants swing dancing ad really nauseates me. It’s saying, “Hey, buy these pants and jump onto this musical fad so you can look back at yourself in pictures five years from now and be appalled! Stupid fads are the birthright of every generation!” I hate that stupid car commercial with the phoney independent film maker who takes a movie of a parked car getting damaged by passersby. There’s also his sycophantic moll who tells him he is making a great movie. The hot sex presumably comes after the commercial is over. ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/39 "2000-04-05T20:33:00Z")
Hey, look. If a guy and a car want to have hor sex, as long as they’re both adults and it’s consensual, who are we to say it’s wrong! 😃 * * * Bitch by Birth ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890/40 "2000-04-05T20:38:00Z")
Sorry. Ho **t** sex, ho **t** sex. :o * * * Bitch by Birth [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-commercials/5890.md?page=3)