# Lame rant about hating telemarketers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896 "2004-08-15T02:15:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/1 "2004-08-15T02:15:25Z")
Yes I _know_ this subject has been done to death. But not by me. So I’m just getting set into the recliner to watch Olympic sports coverage. Remote? Check. Snacks? Check. Phone? Oops. _Rrrring!_ I get up and answer it. “Hello, I’m A. S. Hole, calling for…” “What are you selling?” “I’m not trying to sell you anything…” I hang up. About an hour later. _Rrrrrrrring!_ “Hello, may I speak to(my name, horribly mangled, by some guy in an incomprehensible accent )?” “What are you selling?” “I’m not trying to sell…” Again, I hang up. Damnation. Why do these numbnuts have to unexpectedly get me up out of my comfy chair? Yes, yes, yes, I know that telemarketers are alleged to be human, and to have families they must feed, and being rude to them is like blaming the server for bad food in a restaurant. But I am fast approaching the point where I’m going to start using profanity to these drones, and curse them back to their remotest ancestor. Lame, I know. But I just gotta vent. Ohh… **FUCK!!!** Panting. Thanks, I feel better now. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/2 "2004-08-15T03:12:46Z")
Thanks for reminding me, I need to get my mom on the national 'Do Not Call" registry. Before I moved down here, we very rarely got telemarketer calls thanks to that. But my mom didn’t know about it, and she gets them all the time. I really hate them. I don’t know if I hate the ones where actual humans call you, or the ones with the “Hi, I’m suzie, you’ve been selected to win ‘free’ cable” recordings. I know what you mean about the "human’ ones though. You ask straight out “is this a sales call”? They say “no, this is an offer”. :rolleyes: “Oh? What’s the offer”? “We have a special on XYZ telephone minutes blahblah”. Me “okay, then it’s a SALES call, NO!!!”. Click. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I have to admire the ones that at least tell the truth. If you’re calling to try and sign someone up for something it’s not an “offer” it’s a SALES CALL, at least be honest. ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/3 "2004-08-15T06:32:49Z")
_shrug_ I just don’t answer the phone…why not just screen your calls with an answering machine? Or at least bring a cordless phone to where you sit, so if you insist on answering it, you don’t need to get up. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/4 "2004-08-15T06:57:50Z")
Yeah! The fact that phone rings is not reason enough to answer it. Seriously! Let the machine get it! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/5 "2004-08-15T12:52:36Z")
I’ve started getting them to my _cell_ phone. It’s a 770 number, and when I picked it up the first time, an automated voice said, “Please stand by for the next available operator.” Yeah, sure. Righto. :rolleyes: They were calling twice a day, but I just disconnected them when I saw it was a 770 number. I still don’t know who it is. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/6 "2004-08-15T13:25:48Z")
**spooje** and **Cerri** , you are assuming I have an answering machine. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/7 "2004-08-15T13:42:31Z")
Caller ID. If it says “data not available,” I don’t answer it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Roboto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@Mr.Roboto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Roboto)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/8 "2004-08-15T13:51:52Z")
Dude,spend $30 and buy a Zapper… Poof…no more telemarketers ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/9 "2004-08-15T14:52:22Z")
I have been getting junk fax calls at such ungodly hours as 3 AM. The stupid thing is that I do not have a fax machine but , until you pick up up the phone , there is no way of knowing who is calling. I have now subscribed to the UK equivalent of the " do not call " scheme ( fax and phone preference service) so hopefully these calls will stop. This scheme as the weight of the law behind it. If , after a month , you are still getting these calls the caller can be prosecuted. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/10 "2004-08-15T15:01:09Z")
> [@Mr. Roboto](#): > > Dude,spend $30 and buy a Zapper… > Poof…no more telemarketers I dunno. Can you hook one of them up to a rotary dial phone? BTW, I’m not a dude! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/11 "2004-08-15T18:05:53Z")
> [@Mr. Roboto](#): > > Dude,spend $30 and buy a Zapper… > Poof…no more telemarketers Dude. I saw these in the dollar store the other day! Does that mean they don’t work that well, or telemarketers have found ways around them, or they’ve become well-nigh obsolete now that there’s a national Do Not Call list? I still occasionally get a call from… well, it’s a recorded message, they give me a number I’m supposed to call them back at, but they don’t say anything about who they are or what it’s about. Yeah, right! WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/12 "2004-08-15T18:34:25Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > “Hello, I’m A. S. Hole, calling for…” “What are you selling?” “I’m not trying to sell you anything…” I hang up. > > … > > About an hour later. _Rrrrrrrring!_ “Hello, may I speak to(my name, horribly mangled, by some guy in an incomprehensible accent )?” “What are you selling?” “I’m not trying to sell…” Again, I hang up. You know, maybe they **weren’t** trying to sell you anything. Maybe it was, say, one of your creditors trying to inform you that your latest payment never arrived or something. I mean, you never actually gave them a chance to say what they wanted, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/13 "2004-08-15T21:10:02Z")
The magic “Telemarketer B Gone” words in the U.S.A. are: “Per the terms of the [T.C.P.A.](http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/tcpa.html), I wish to be placed on your “Do Not Call” list.” Not as effective as a Telezapper, because they can still sell your name to other companies, but it helps. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/14 "2004-08-15T23:19:02Z")
**Baker** , why haven’t you signed up with the national Do Not Call list? More to the point, why don’t you have either an answering machine or Caller ID (I believe that the display units work with any standard phone line)? If you’re not going to take advantage of the available methods to help you avoid telemarketers, don’t bitch about 'em. 😃 Also, like **spooje** said, just because a phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it. If your reply is “well, it could be my boss/child/parent/etc. calling” then you should own an answering machine. (And yes, sometimes telemarketers _are_ real people: I did telemarketing for a couple summers in college. It sucked, but it was a job. People who answered their phone when they didn’t have to and then hung up on me were my favorites. :rolleyes: ) ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/15 "2004-08-15T23:23:20Z")
Caveat: Caller ID display units work with any standard phone line _after you order the Caller ID service from your phone company_. At first I figured that the end part could go without saying, but after I posted I figured I’d better cover my ass just in case… ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/16 "2004-08-15T23:33:32Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > …And yes, sometimes telemarketers _are_ real people: I did telemarketing for a couple summers in college. It sucked, but it was a job. I don’t think your claim that ‘telemarketers are real people’ stands up. (There are computer dialling recorded messages for a start.) Aren’t e.g. vandals and muggers are ‘real people’ too - what comparison to telemarketers are you trying to make? Presumably you were desperate and unqualified when you took on telemarketing - I trust you have a decent job now! ---
**Author:** ![J.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@J.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J.Me)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/17 "2004-08-16T00:50:00Z")
Most of the sales calls I receive are of the “auto-dial” variety, so I recognize them within the first second. I say “Hello?”, then after one second, the person on the other end says, “Hello? Ms. MyLastName? Blahblahblah…” Then I say, as loudly as the hour permits, “DON’T KNOW YA!”, and hang up. And I’m ordinarily giggling my fool head off! ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/18 "2004-08-16T01:54:00Z")
> [@glee](#): > > I don’t think your claim that ‘telemarketers are real people’ stands up. > (There are computer dialling recorded messages for a start.) > Aren’t e.g. vandals and muggers are ‘real people’ too - what comparison to telemarketers are you trying to make? > > Presumably you were desperate and unqualified when you took on telemarketing - I trust you have a decent job now! Wow, you _completely_ missed the point of everything that I wrote. Either that, or you replied to my post without reading the OP. Either way: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/19 "2004-08-16T02:33:30Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > It’s a 770 number, and when I picked it up the first time, an automated voice said, “Please stand by for the next available operator.” Yeah, sure. Righto. I get calls like this, too, and every single time it happens, I am forced to wonder: do these people ever sell anything, _ever_, to _anyone_? Is there actually someone out there who is enough of a utterly mindless sheep that they not only have zero resistance to sales pitches, but will obey an instruction from a fucking computer to wait around on hold for the privelege of listening to them? Is there a company out there whose outstanding sales can be attributed to the success of this ingenious technique? Inquiring minds want to know. I mean, really…what the hell? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896/20 "2004-08-16T02:48:45Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > **Baker** , why haven’t you signed up with the national Do Not Call list? More to the point, why don’t you have either an answering machine or Caller ID (I believe that the display units work with any standard phone line)? If you’re not going to take advantage of the available methods to help you avoid telemarketers, don’t bitch about 'em. 😃 How much a month does Caller ID cost? Can I get a telemarketer to re-imburse me for the added expense? Will they buy an answering machine for me? If not, fuck them. Fuck them right in the ass. I’m just glad for the National Do Not Call list, and it is my fond and fervent hope that because of it, we will soon have an epidemic of telemarketers slowly starving to death in the streets. Because, as their defenders so often like to say, it is the only job they could every possibly get. (To which I reply, pimps are _always_ hiring.) > [@](#): > > Also, like **spooje** said, just because a phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it. If your reply is “well, it could be my boss/child/parent/etc. calling” then you should own an answering machine. I don’t like sitting there while the phone rings and rings and rings. It’s quicker, and far more emotionally satisfying, to answer it and call the person on the other end names. And, yes, such behavior is immature. Maturity is over-rated. Kinda funny: thanks to the DNC list, I haven’t had a genuine telemarketing call in over a year. And yet, I’m still burning off unused rage from years and years of _constant_, as it two to three a day _minimum_, unsolicited sales calls. I’ll probably still be ranting about this to my grandkids, who will be sitting there wondering what the fuck a “telephone” was. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lame-rant-about-hating-telemarketers/259896.md?page=2)