# Lamest Star Trek Character? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 15, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331 "2005-10-15T05:48:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![mojave66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@mojave66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mojave66)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/101 "2005-10-18T20:35:37Z")
\>No lame love for Chakotay? “Acoo-che-moya” ::cringe:: UGH. That’s when I quit watching Trek altogether. Could you get ANY more “incredibly spiritual Noble Native American” sterotypical? I just wanted to grab the flute from the dork who kept blowing it everytime Chakotay walked in and beat the writers senseless. Chakotay’s beyond lame and into the realm of “WTF were they thinking?” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/102 "2005-10-18T21:38:54Z")
The suits at Paramount deserve Lame Shame lapel pins for: [ol] [li]Cancelling _TOS_ in the first place,[/li][li]Starting a movie franchise instead of bringing it back to the small screen,[/li][li]Launching _ersatz_ spinoff shows such as ST:TNG and its misbegotten brethren, rather than returning Kirk and Co. to my home, where they belonged,[/li][li]Freeing up Bill Shatner and allowing him to inflict _TJ Hooker_ upon the world.[/li][/ol] And Roddenberry deserves to hace one epoxied to his headstone for going along with it. As to the OP. I always thought Kirk was kind of lame. And that made the show worth watching. And awaiting its _actual_ return. Kaylasdad, still waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/103 "2005-10-18T22:09:59Z")
The lamest character in TOS – Sulu. There was nothing to him. He simply repeated Kirk’s orders back (with the occasional “Pasers ready, Captain.”) He had no personal history, never got a good storyline and in fact missed several episodes while he was making a movie, and was never missed. He was, in short, almost a stereotype of the dutiful Asian manservant, always servile, always pleasant and always in the background. Well, at least they’d never write such a stereotyped character in the later versions. Oh wait. Harry Kim. Nurse Ogawa. Keiko O’Brian. Same lame, different names. ---
**Author:** ![priapus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@priapus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/priapus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/104 "2005-10-18T22:28:15Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > Lwaxana Troi was _written_ to be an annoying, overbearing, buttinski mother. Remember Mona from _Who’s the Boss?_. Lwaxana is basically Mona as alien royalty. Every show has one of these moms, though they’re usually reserved for sit-coms. > > Wesley Crusher originally got my lame pick, but the one thing that might be his saving grace is that he’s “special,” according to The Traveller. Basically, he’s your overeager teenage geek who would’ve gotten his lunch money stolen 400 years ago. 😃 > > I never really liked Dr. Pulaski. Something about about her just rubbed me the wrong way. I’m glad they wrote her out of the show early on. > > Adam Lwaxana was married to Roddenberry.She was an irritating nurse and computer too ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/105 "2005-10-19T00:18:22Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I’m with Loopy. I vote Neelix. I vote him twice. Fifty times. A thousand billion trillion times. Make that another gajillion. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/106 "2005-10-19T09:22:12Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I never got why Starfleet never replicated a good old .50 caliber machine gun. Because doing so would point out that phasers, despite being super-high-tech, are pretty much useless weapons. They rarely kill anybody. Half the galaxy seems to be immune to them. A tenth of the galaxy is actually HEALED by them. Why everyone stopped using bullets --which actually kill people-- is beyond me. Phasers are supposed to be able to disintegrate not only people, but cover as well. Yet virtually every ST firefight involves combatants hiding behind barrels, crates, etc. which somehow are never damaged by phaser fire. I just don’t think that Star Trek’s writers are smart enough to deal with technology. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/107 "2005-10-19T10:04:28Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > Wasn’t there an episode where Alexander’s mom got killed by a Klingon and Worf took the day off on FMLA, went over to the Klingon ship(where he was outside of Federation law), killed the Klingon bad guy(s) and came back to the Enterprise within a few hours? > > I think they should have spent more time exploring Worf’s cold-blooded psychopath side. Yes. Killing off Khe’leyr was idiotic IMO, but it did give us the opportunity for one of the great moments in the series… paraphrasing: _WORF arrives aboard the Klingon vessel, his arse in his hand(_) and a bat’leh all ready for action\* KLINGON CREWMAN: WTF do you want? KLINGON BAD GUY: (hastily) Pay no attention to him! He is a non-person! He has been disappeared! WORF: I’m here to claim revenge for my mate! KLINGON CREWMAN: (to BAD GUY) Even disappeared non-persons get that much. You’d better fight him. _Klingon crew politely make room_ Whereupon very little penis, but any amount of blood and entrails, ensues. [size](\*An obscure Britism that signifies he is so far beyond merely “furious” that Captain Cook couldn’t find him with an atlas, a compass and a native guide)[/size] Psychopathic or not, he was, however, exceedingly _hot_-blooded at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/108 "2005-10-19T10:06:40Z")
_K’parr mahk!_ :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/109 "2005-10-19T11:08:45Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Whereupon very little penis Eh, this a britishism as well maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/110 "2005-10-19T11:12:26Z")
> [@Operation Ripper](#): > > Eh, this a britishism as well maybe? Nope. You’re a n00b so I’ll excuse you, but “penis ensues”, originally a typo for “panic ensues”, is a Doperism. You’ll become acquainted with a few others as you go along. Note that I said “a few”. There are probably more Doperisms than there are adams in the universe. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/111 "2005-10-19T11:26:59Z")
Another vote for Deanna Troi. Did she ever **really** say “I sense hostility, Captain” after the Enterprise has been fired on? Or is that just Trek folklore and her entire career summed up in one line? ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/112 "2005-10-19T18:17:52Z")
You can find more such Doperisms [here in this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=320298) ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/113 "2005-10-19T19:03:10Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > The lamest character in TOS – Sulu. There was nothing to him. He simply repeated Kirk’s orders back (with the occasional “ **Pasers** ready, Captain.”) Am I the only one picturing Sulu wearing a hockey helmet and drooling ever so slightly as he says this? Really? All right then, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/114 "2005-10-19T20:17:25Z")
I believe the correct answer is Captain Pike. (Beep) See, he agrees with me. Although that stupid red skirt that is in Part One is even lamer. ---
**Author:** ![BigDummy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee59a6/32.png) [@BigDummy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigDummy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/115 "2005-10-19T22:19:58Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Riker, no question. What did he bring to any episode whatsoever? What dimension did he add? Yes, I concede that Jonathan Frakes’ inability to act his way out of even a speeding ticket is part of the problem, but really. Seriously. And what was up with his job? He was the one who was supposed to go on the away missions while the Captain stayed on the ship. So he was like the Captain only, you know, **TOTALLY EXPENDABLE**! “Too dangerous to risk the Captain. Send Riker.” How about on TOS, the transporter guy who’s job was basically to get pushed aside by pretty much _anybody_ else when something went wrong. I always thought he was pretty lame. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331/116 "2005-10-19T23:13:15Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > \ > Hence the acute severity of the Wesley Effect: He’s supposed to be an astonishing wunderkind, but instead, most of the time he’s an irritating little bitch. The writers took the teen genius idea and, after cutting his poor little balls off, amalgamated him with a bellyaching Cub Scout. You want Worf to reach down, rediscover his own sack, and finally get sufficiently fed up with the little castrato to give him the back of a spikey gauntlet. You really have a way with words, **Loopy**. You’ve painted a very vivid mind picture, there. 😃 My vote for lamest Star Trek character? Ooh, so many to choose from. I think I would have to go with the black pilot guy from “Enterprise.” Made such an impression as a regular character that I can’t even remember his name. T’Pol’s duck lips were pretty lame, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lamest-star-trek-character/326331.md?page=5)