# LAN **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271 "2001-08-14T21:33:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/1 "2001-08-14T21:33:31Z")
If. one. more. person. refers. to. the. LAN. as “The Internet” I. Will. Fdisk. Their. PC. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/2 "2001-08-14T22:14:15Z")
If.one.more.person.uses.periods.instead.of.spaces.between.words.I.will.S.their.bicycle. ---
**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/3 "2001-08-14T22:26:38Z")
I.can’t.log.into.Novell.the.internet.must.be.down. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/4 "2001-08-14T23:01:29Z")
Whats an internet? ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/5 "2001-08-14T23:30:44Z")
If you don’t need to leave the computer intact, use a baseball bat instead: accomplish wanton destruction of property (and work out the frustration of dealing with (l)users) and an effective fdisk at the same time. (Assuming that you can smack the HD enough to ruin it.) What me, violent? * * * \<\< Now accepting applications for my cult-like following. \>\> ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/6 "2001-08-16T15:25:09Z")
Just take away their solitaire, that’ll piss 'em off more than anything. ---
**Author:** ![cykrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@cykrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cykrider)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/7 "2001-08-16T15:29:18Z")
[Homer] Ohhh, so they have the internet on computers now? [/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/8 "2001-08-16T16:36:29Z")
My personal favorite: “I can’t print.” A close second: “Is the server down? I can’t get on the innernet.” 1. What the hell does the file server have to do with internet connectivity? 2. The _inner_net? As opposed to the outernet? ---
**Author:** ![Caldazar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Caldazar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caldazar)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/9 "2001-08-16T17:07:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mblackwell \* > \*\*I.can’t.log.into.Novell.the.internet.must.be.down. \*\* Yes, the internet is down. They’re cleaning it today. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lan/76271/10 "2001-08-16T17:08:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by pestie \* > \*\* What the hell does the file server have to do with internet connectivity?_\* I am relatively certain that it has something to do with lying to the tech person or installing illegal software. Pezpunk…I don’t have a bicycle, so there!