# Lana...Lana....Lanaaaaaaaa!!!! What??? \[Archer Season 5 thread\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 13, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667 "2014-01-13T16:17:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/21 "2014-01-14T14:54:57Z")
“I could start smoking crack today, and the baby would still turn out better than you!” Any guesses for Mallory’s shadowy benefactor? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/22 "2014-01-14T15:11:02Z")
I hate to say it. I was unimpressed. A couple of good lines. A hell of a lot better than the embarrassment that happened after. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/23 "2014-01-14T15:24:01Z")
Enjoyed the heck out of it myself, especially the montage/trailer. Was there any explanation for why Mallory had, y’know, literally a ton of cocaine behind a fake wall in her office? ---
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/24 "2014-01-14T15:40:28Z")
I loved it!! Pam in the FBI truck, with her hand in her skirt…“shut up and let her talk…” LMAO!!! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/25 "2014-01-14T16:08:57Z")
This episode was pretty much just setting up the season, but based on that montage, this is going to be an insane season. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/26 "2014-01-14T16:19:28Z")
I liked it. I thought it was pretty good for an episode, even better if you give it an allowance for being the opener and setting up the rest of the season. Chozen after it was pretty “eh”. A few good lines but Sterling Archer was instantly likable as a character to me. A total dick, sure, but as a character he was fun to watch. Chozen is more of a total dick without the fun. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/27 "2014-01-14T16:43:51Z")
I didn’t see that giant dog in the montage :\< I wanted him to be a recurring character. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/28 "2014-01-14T16:50:25Z")
Spin off! Kazak & Babou – Tuesday nights on FX! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/29 "2014-01-14T17:09:44Z")
> [@SykoSkotty](#): > > I loved it!! Pam in the FBI truck, with her hand in her skirt…“shut up and let her talk…” > LMAO!!! Biggest laugh of the episode. > [@madmonk28](#): > > This episode was pretty much just setting up the season, but based on that montage, this is going to be an insane season. Pretty much. Even though I was meh for this episode the season looks very promising. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/30 "2014-01-14T17:33:58Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Biggest laugh of the episode. “Cause Mac Davis can suck it!” “…are you done?” “Are YOU done???” ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/31 "2014-01-14T17:42:46Z")
So is there any legitimate way to watch Archer without a cable subscription? It doesn’t seem to be on Amazon, or any other streaming video service as far as I can tell. If it is available anywhere, googling “watch Archer online” doesn’t seem give me any help, for some reason… Not even if I search for “no really, I want to give someone money to watch Archer”. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/32 "2014-01-14T17:46:33Z")
So Lana has monster hands and not-really-all-that-weird looking vagina. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/33 "2014-01-14T17:48:50Z")
> [@lazybratsche](#): > > So is there any legitimate way to watch Archer without a cable subscription? It doesn’t seem to be on Amazon, or any other streaming video service as far as I can tell. If it is available anywhere, googling “watch Archer online” doesn’t seem give me any help, for some reason… Not even if I search for “no really, I want to give someone money to watch Archer”. I just bought a season pass on iTunes for $22. With the frequency that I rewatch Archer episodes, it’s a pretty good deal. Getting to download them to my phone and watch on planes is even better. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/34 "2014-01-14T17:52:42Z")
Hmm, iTunes is the one streaming service I haven’t used. Is there a way to watch iTunes videos on my TV without an Apple TV? I’ve got a Roku and a PS3 to work with. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/35 "2014-01-14T18:05:25Z")
Some really lazy Googling (“Chicago cocaine bust street value”) gave me a 79kg bust worth $10mil 1kg = 2.2 lbs. 79x2.2 = 174lbs. At $10mil, that $57,471 a pound One ton (2000 lbs) of cocaine should have a street value of $114,942,000 Didn’t Cyril say it was worth $20 million wholesale? That’s one hell of a mark up. (Don’t take this all too seriously; I was just curious) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/36 "2014-01-14T18:08:43Z")
The Chozen ads did everything they possibly could to make me not want to watch it. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/37 "2014-01-14T18:32:43Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > The Chozen ads did everything they possibly could to make me not want to watch it. Good call. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/38 "2014-01-14T18:39:57Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Some really lazy Googling (“Chicago cocaine bust street value”) gave me a 79kg bust worth $10mil > > 1kg = 2.2 lbs. 79x2.2 = 174lbs. At $10mil, that $57,471 a pound > One ton (2000 lbs) of cocaine should have a street value of $114,942,000 > > Didn’t Cyril say it was worth $20 million wholesale? That’s one hell of a mark up. > > (Don’t take this all too seriously; I was just curious) I thought he said $60m wholesale, which sounds about right. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/39 "2014-01-14T18:42:30Z")
You could very well be right. I thought I heard 20 but I certainly wouldn’t swear by it. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667/40 "2014-01-14T18:49:00Z")
I just re watched the segment, and Cyril says “50, 60 million.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lana-lana-lanaaaaaaaa-what-archer-season-5-thread/678667.md?page=3)