# Lance Armstrong LIED! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819 "2015-02-04T18:29:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/1 "2015-02-04T18:29:58Z")
Heard on the news today that Lance “King of the Douches” Armstrong was driving, most likely drunk, and plowed into a few parked cars, and \*then lied \*about who was driving at the time! He had his girlfriend take the rap! Here is the shocking part for me: [spoiler]Lance Armstrong has a fucking _Girlfriend?_ :eek: What kind of sad, pathetic urchin would have anything to do with this asshole? 😕 Man, that’s sad. [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/2 "2015-02-04T18:31:37Z")
Dude, have you been to Walmart? If those people can hook up, I’m positive Lance will have no problem. 😃 Hell, even Charles Manson was about to get a married to some 26yo lass… tragically, the marriage license expired this week. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/3 "2015-02-04T18:37:39Z")
…and I always thought he had feet of clay… ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/4 "2015-02-04T18:57:35Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > What kind of sad, pathetic urchin would have anything to do with this asshole? 😕 She’s a long-term girlfriend; started dating him when he was still “Lance Armstrong, TdF champion”. Yes, even though he’s now known as “disgraced Lance Armstrong” they have kids together & don’t forget, he still has his money. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/5 "2015-02-04T19:00:11Z")
Also keep in mind that cheating in a sport rife with cheaters, lying about cheating in a sport rife with cheaters and being an overall terrible person are pretty far ends of the spectrum ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/6 "2015-02-04T19:07:11Z")
The spoiler made me laugh like hell. Applause. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/7 "2015-02-04T19:36:03Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > Also keep in mind that cheating in a sport rife with cheaters, lying about cheating in a sport rife with cheaters and being an overall terrible person are pretty far ends of the spectrum Manipulation. Bribery. Bullying. Even in a sport full of lying cheaters he is widely regarded as a pretty terrible person. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/8 "2015-02-04T19:40:02Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > … don’t forget, he still has his money. Ah. That clears it up. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/9 "2015-02-04T20:06:41Z")
Blamed his gf? Man, that takes ball. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/10 "2015-02-04T20:08:35Z")
And kayaker wins the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/11 "2015-02-04T20:39:48Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > > [@Spiderman](#): > > > > … don’t forget, he still has his money. > > Ah. That clears it up. I’m surprised he still has money; I would have expected him to be sued into bankruptcy. A Google search indicates that the US Government is currently suing him for $100 million. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/12 "2015-02-04T22:20:31Z")
I’m shocked. Shocked to find cheating going on by a person. In sports, or any other activity. The US Constitution prohibits searches without a warrant, yet all my electronic communications are intercepted and stored by the NSA. And I can’t access them to protect myself. It is just to be used for purposes other than my own. That I give a shit about. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/13 "2015-02-04T22:50:31Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I’m surprised he still has money; I would have expected him to be sued into bankruptcy. A Google search indicates that the US Government is currently suing him for $100 million. Suing; in the process of. He’s spending a boatload on lawyers, but hasn’t had to give anything back. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/14 "2015-02-05T00:38:41Z")
Eh. . . I guess no one remembers that [Lance Armstrong was cleared!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=640905) And[a little more reading](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=575176) for your entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/15 "2015-02-05T00:53:34Z")
> [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](#): > > Eh. . . I guess no one remembers that [Lance Armstrong was cleared!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=640905) And[a little more reading](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=575176) for your entertainment. From that thread: > [@Lance Armstrong cleared. Can they finally leave him alone?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-cleared-can-they-finally-leave-him-alone/611768/8): > > I don’t like him. They should have just framed him. 😃 I always thought having one ball was an unfair advantage when riding a bike with a racing saddle, though none would have been even more comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/16 "2015-02-05T01:18:03Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > [spoiler]Lance Armstrong has a fucking _Girlfriend?_ :eek: > > What kind of sad, pathetic urchin would have anything to do with this asshole? 😕 > > Man, that’s sad. [/spoiler] Two words – Charlie Manson. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/17 "2015-02-05T01:46:15Z")
He managed to pull and almost keep Sheryl Crow. Personally, I think she’s cool on a whole LOT of different levels but…he was definitely a [mistake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIlUKo4dQc#t=20). Sit-ups may pull a Woman, but sit-ups don’t make a Man. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/18 "2015-02-05T05:34:48Z")
I’m just riffing here, but there has got to be a reality show in this. \* Dating A to Z: From Armstrong to Zimmerman\* Ladies? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/19 "2015-02-05T07:45:20Z")
I’m pretty sure every single person living in Aspen automatically qualifies as a douchebag. Like living in Boulder makes you a stoner. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2015, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819/20 "2015-02-05T08:09:41Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > He managed to pull and almost keep Sheryl Crow. Personally, I think she’s cool on a whole LOT of different levels but…he was definitely a [mistake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmIlUKo4dQc#t=20). > Sit-ups may pull a Woman, but sit-ups don’t make a Man. Sheryl Crow is freaking awesome. And he did not fail to keep her, he walked out on her because she got cancer. Which made her lucky, I guess. (The remainder of my comments about Lance’s character shall be reserved for possible later use in the Pit, as they would not be suitable for use here.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lance-armstrong-lied/711819.md?page=2)