# Lane Kiffin Sucks! \*Trying not to flip out\* **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809 "2010-01-13T18:17:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/1 "2010-01-13T18:17:27Z")
> **[Lane Kiffin is going to USC](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=547604)** > > Story here. I have to say I find this very surprising. Kiffin for all his publicity is still very unproven and seems to be a lightning rod for chaos and controversy. It seems likely that USC will be taking some serious sanctions so perhaps Kiffin is... This thread is no the first Kiffin thread, but I’m trying to vent here without messing with the rest of the thread. I am also trying not to swear _too_ profusely. _Disclaimer: I attend UT. I didn’t know about the Kiffin mess until this morning, as I was out of contact._ Good GOD man, what’s wrong with you? DO you simply not care? Do you simply not give a damn flip about anyone else? What the HELL? It boggles the mind that you would do something like this. UT has had an on-again, off-again program, sometimes being at the pinnacle or awesome and sometimes dropping down into the heap. It’s just our way. We called you in because the aging Fulmer just wasn’t as energetic as he once was. And we bloody well treated you like a _King_. Even the people who didn’t think you were the right choice graciously appreciated your work and character and capabilities. Even after you started acting a bit… erratically vis-a-vis certain rules and customs of the NCAA, you had ample support. I may not be the most connected person around, but I’ve heard of not the slightest hint of a rumor that anyone here was anything less than kind, gracious, and pleased with your presence. Even the usual carping over the athletics budget was more muted than I remember in a long while. Nobody complained that you brought an entire team with you… which you are now planning to move out. And trying to steal the players you recruited for us. Well, that’s all gone now, your jerkassness. Now you’re just another vile, disreputable, scum-sucking degenerate. You’re a traitorous dog who frankly deserves to be in a dirty program. Hell, USC is way too good for you. I sincerely hope you learn the hard way that honor comes first, not last. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/2 "2010-01-13T18:28:25Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=148378&highlight=Franchione](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=148378&highlight=Franchione) ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/3 "2010-01-13T18:34:24Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > You’re a traitorous dog who frankly deserves to be in a dirty program. Why would he move then? It isn’t like the Vols were particularly tough on ensuring he recruited [young men of moral fiber](http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4647094). ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/4 "2010-01-13T18:48:20Z")
I knew he’d jump ship, I just didn’t expect it to be after one lousy, fucking 7-6 year. I only hope they don’t bring back Fulmer. I mean, go take David Cutcliffe a suitcase full of cash and bring him back with you. Hell, go buy Steve Spurrier. I don’t care. Just not Fulmer. Oh, and fuck Lane Kiffin in his stupid ass. Congratulations, USC, for getting a selfish dirtbag who will, in fact, hop away at the first opportunity. That is guaranteed. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/5 "2010-01-13T18:51:26Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > It boggles the mind that you would do something like this. UT has had an on-again, off-again program, sometimes being at the pinnacle or awesome and sometimes dropping down into the heap. And USC is USC. They were just in, what, eight straight BCS bowls? And the SC part means a bit better location for him on top of that. Being angry is one thing, because he’s an awful human being, but the boggling is on you, I’m afraid. Why on earth wouldn’t he go to USC? He couldn’t have known Carroll was going anywhere, and he took the Tennessee job because it was the best he could get. USC is objectively a better job than UT, and there are several factors that make it subjectively _much_ more appealing to Kiffin. What’s he supposed to do? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/6 "2010-01-13T18:53:23Z")
> [@Hung\_Mung](#): > > Congratulations, USC, for getting a selfish dirtbag who will, in fact, hop away at the first opportunity. That is guaranteed. You sound exactly like the rest of the SEC did one year ago. There was more laughter then, because most of us knew this would end badly. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/7 "2010-01-13T18:53:54Z")
Get over it, SEC fans. Deceive yourselves all you want, the fact is USC is a better job than any SEC school. _Any_ SEC school. Kiffin was an assistant at USC and was able to land one of the top jobs without ever really proving anything in his own coaching career. Now he’ll have a couple years of low expectations to settle in (assuming they get hit with sanctions) and will end up being “laid back surfer dudebro coach 🆒” redux. Can anyone honestly blame him for jumping ship from the 5th or 6th best program in the SEC? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/8 "2010-01-13T18:56:57Z")
Who are all these sports coach people that suck so bad? Forget it. God forbid someone should tell me. Can the Game Room be converted to the Game Pit so all of this nonsense can stay in there? ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/9 "2010-01-13T18:57:19Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Get over it, SEC fans. Deceive yourselves all you want, the fact is USC is a better job than any SEC school. _Any_ SEC school. It’s a better job than UT, that’s for sure. But I am not sure it is better than Florida or 'Bama. Or Vandy. Come on - you get to live in Nashvegas, you get paid lots of money, and you aren’t expected to succeed? Where is the downside in that? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/10 "2010-01-13T18:58:20Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > And USC is USC. They were just in, what, eight straight BCS bowls? And the SC part means a bit better location for him on top of that. > > Being angry is one thing, because he’s an awful human being, but the boggling is on you, I’m afraid. Why on earth wouldn’t he go to USC? He couldn’t have known Carroll was going anywhere, and he took the Tennessee job because it was the best he could get. USC is objectively a better job than UT, and there are several factors that make it subjectively _much_ more appealing to Kiffin. What’s he supposed to do? I tell you what I would’ve done. I would have waited for the interim scapegoat to fail in three years, then headed to USC. I’d be in a better position, and I’d have a much better public image. Instead, Kiffin decided to sign up as the resident scapegoat. Too bad he’s too stupid to realize it. On top of that, the USC folks must be dumber than a bag of hammers. Hiring Kiffin is like spray painting “Fuck You” on the front door of the NCAA headquarters in red and gold. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/11 "2010-01-13T19:00:56Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Who are all these sports coach people that suck so bad? > > Forget it. God forbid someone should tell me. > > Can the Game Room be converted to the Game Pit so all of this nonsense can stay in there? What kind of moron wanders into a pit thread he knows nothing about, then decides to actually participate in it? Next time, tattoo “dumbass” on the bridge of your nose. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/12 "2010-01-13T19:10:40Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > You sound exactly like the rest of the SEC did one year ago. There was more laughter then, because most of us knew this would end badly. Well, he hadn’t skipped and ran before, and he put up enough fo what we now realize was a show for our amusement that we thought he was serious. He first season wasn’t ideal, mind you, but we thought we saw some real potential to grow and strengthen. And in a way, yeah, USC is possibly a little better than UT. Even despite having more money, less competition, and a lot more talent pool than we’re handed, though, it’s only a little better. As in, were UT and USC constant comeptitors, I wouldn’t expect them to simply dominate us. We’d given them heavy and consistent fights, and might well win out in the long run. It’s not like down here where we’ve got the the 10 meanest teams in the country all fighting like rabid dogs. I guess what I’m saying is that he left a chance for statuesque glory in order to become a glorified statue. He can coast at USC, at least until or unless they turn on him or he gets so dirty they have to toss him. Or somebody offers him another chance to move around and leave his failures. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/13 "2010-01-13T19:19:05Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Well, he hadn’t skipped and ran before, and he put up enough fo what we now realize was a show for our amusement that we thought he was serious. He first season wasn’t ideal, mind you, but we thought we saw some real potential to grow and strengthen. I didn’t think he’d skip town, but I knew it wouldn’t end well. There’s just something wrong with someone who mouths off that much. I’ve been listening to his “Sing Rocky top all night long after beating Florida” and his “I’m going to turn in UM right now” speeches for several months now, and they never fail to deliver a chuckle. Not trying to kick you when you’re down, as I see this as a net gain for UT. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/14 "2010-01-13T19:19:17Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > What kind of moron wanders into a pit thread he knows nothing about, then decides to actually participate in it? Next time, tattoo “dumbass” on the bridge of your nose. Backwards, so he can read it in the mirror. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/15 "2010-01-13T19:21:08Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > What kind of moron wanders into a pit thread he knows nothing about, then decides to actually participate in it? Next time, tattoo “dumbass” on the bridge of your nose. There is no clue from the thread title that this was about sports idiocy. I wanted to see why somebody sucked, and the OP didn’t even answer THAT question. So, they suck becuse they’re sports coaches who take jobs for the ‘wrong’ teams or the ‘wrong’ leagues? I don’t think I’m the one in thread needing a dumbass stamp. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/16 "2010-01-13T19:21:27Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > And in a way, yeah, USC is possibly a little better than UT. Even despite having more money, less competition, and a lot more talent pool than we’re handed, though, it’s only a little better. As in, were UT and USC constant comeptitors, I wouldn’t expect them to simply dominate us. We’d given them heavy and consistent fights, and might well win out in the long run. It’s not like down here where we’ve got the the 10 meanest teams in the country all fighting like rabid dogs. Please, UT hasn’t been able to outrecruit the SEC, you think they could recruit enough to consistently compete with USC? Southern California high school football prospects \>\>\> eastern Tennessee. Hell, USC could probably outrecruit UT in their own backyard if they bothered to try. Being in the SEC doesn’t give your team magic powers. When UT gets around to winning the SEC again you can talk. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/17 "2010-01-13T19:28:24Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > There is no clue from the thread title that this was about sports idiocy. Other than the fact that it was about a prominent sports coach? Yeah, you really got me there.:rolleyes: > [@](#): > > I wanted to see why somebody sucked, and the OP didn’t even answer THAT question. Not our fault you’re too stupid to click on the relevant link provided at the very top of the page. > [@](#): > > So, they suck becuse they’re sports coaches who take jobs for the ‘wrong’ teams or the ‘wrong’ leagues? No. > [@](#): > > I don’t think I’m the one in thread needing a dumbass stamp. You’re right about that. You need a permanent tattoo. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/18 "2010-01-13T19:31:22Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Hell, USC could probably outrecruit UT in their own backyard if they bothered to try. > > . I agree with a lot of your post, but this is idiotic. USC is really good at recruiting because they are the most prominent school in the most talent rich state in the US. If anything, UT has outrecruited 99% of schools in the country, because they have to work a lot harder at it. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/19 "2010-01-13T19:36:33Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > What kind of moron wanders into a pit thread he knows nothing about, then decides to actually participate in it? Next time, tattoo “dumbass” on the bridge of your nose. Wait – are you saying this behavior surprises you? Hello, that’s the _sine qua non_ of these pit folks that think they are smart. Also, I wish to point out three things in order of ascending importance: 1. Kiffin is a poor coach anyway 2. SEC football is second only to Notre Dame in the category of “completely overrated”. Oh wait, I forgot Michigan and Ohio State, the only two decent teams in the big ten. I guess that makes the SEC 3rd. and… 1. UT is Texas. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809/20 "2010-01-13T19:37:31Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > If anything, UT has outrecruited 99% of schools in the country, because they have to work a lot harder at it. It appears some Tennessee students worked harder than others at the recruiting aspect under Lane Kiffin. [But of course, he is **going** to a dirty program, not coming from one.](http://deadspin.com/5422400/tennessees-hostess-program-catches-recruits-and-ncaas-eyes-updated) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lane-kiffin-sucks-trying-not-to-flip-out/524809.md?page=2)