# Lapsang Souchong is Vile **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956 "2004-10-19T01:47:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/61 "2004-11-07T12:25:09Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Darn, EP. They told me four to seven days, and Monday will be two weeks. Sigh. I blame Canada Post. They can be on the slow side sometimes. Either that or some random bastard has my tea. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/62 "2004-11-07T14:19:33Z")
**stately plump buck mulligan]** Understand that by a fermented sausage, I’m speaking of a good, strong summer sausage. Johnsonville is mediocre, frankly. Your local german butcher may make a better one. IMHO, Kewaskum Meats makes the best. And try a shot of 15 year old balsamic vinegar sometime! Yum! But sip it! ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/63 "2004-11-07T14:32:50Z")
I don’t like the smoke taste in anything. If I were a whisky drinker (I’m not), I would reject Scotch. As a vegan, I have tried various ersatz “meat” made from soy, but unfortunately they too often add smoke flavor to disguise the fact that it isn’t really meat. I reject it too. I’m boggled by the fact that stores actually sell bottled smoke flavor to add to food. Major ugh. It’s disgusting. When I was in high school, I became a major tea head. My favorite was Irish Breakfast tea, but I got a sampler pack of loose teas from Twinings and actually made it nearly halfway through the little Lapsang Souchong tin before it started to nauseate me so much I couldn’t stand it any more. I dug the green gunpowder, fell in love with the jasmine, devoured the English breakfast tea. But I threw out the Lapsang. I’ll try anything once, even more than once. I like many strong-flavored foods (red miso, anyone?), but smoke flavor is just revolting. I’m no Michener, but here is my attempt at describing the savor of a cup of Lapsang: As he raised the steaming brew to his nose and inhaled a deep whiff, he was brought back in his limbic memory to a Boy Scout campfire in the cold November woods when they huddled around the fire all day for warmth and when they got home their clothes were all saturated with pungent woodsmoke odor. As he took his first hesitant sip, the acrid taste wrinkled his tongue. A deeper quaff caused the bile to rise in his throat. He gamely downed half the cup, but had to abandon it when his convulsing diaphragm began heaving his stomach up and down. ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/64 "2004-11-07T18:00:56Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > **stately plump buck mulligan]** Understand that by a fermented sausage, I’m speaking of a good, strong summer sausage. Johnsonville is mediocre, frankly. Your local german butcher may make a better one. IMHO, Kewaskum Meats makes the best. > > And try a shot of 15 year old balsamic vinegar sometime! Yum! > > But sip it! Ah, I understand, but nevertheless, I do not eat land animals – my diet is limited to things in the plant kingdom with the occasional foray into the briny depths. Don’t worry, though, still leaves plenty of “wtf?”-eliciting things for me to sample and enjoy. Mmm. Uni. Aged balsamic? I’m THERE. Oh, and I totally blame you for my puffy fingers this morning. After reading this thread I felt compelled to polish off the remaining fifth of a bottle of worchestershire as a midnight snack. **Emperor Penguin** , wasabi peas are a vice, too, (though I always assumed they were green peas?) I found the wasabi almonds at a farmer’s market, at one of the stands that sells dried fruits and nuts and the like. They rock my water retentive self. And thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/65 "2004-11-09T17:54:03Z")
**EP** , I think I’m gonna start a Pit thread on the US Mail/Canada Post. Somewhere, somebody is drinking your tea! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/66 "2004-11-10T01:26:19Z")
Nah, I’m not gonna start a new thread, I’ll just cuss out USPS and/or Canada Post right here! USPS, you jackasses, you told me it would get there in 4 to 7 days. It’s now been 15. I had that package properly addressed, with a clear _return address_ as well. So even if you bozos could find who it was going TO, it should have been returned to me as well. I’m assuming it was stolen from the mail service of one country or another. I had to list the contents of the package, and it said “teabags” Someone decided it wasn’t valuble enough to insure, so they grabbed it. Stupid idiots. May you scald your furry tongue on the tea intended for someone else. **Emperor Penguin** , I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Perhaps you can order from Twining’s directly. But if not, I can send you the address of the store in Lawrence, Kansas, that I bought the tea from. It’s called Brits, in the 900 block of Massachusetts. Lawrence Kansas. You can probably google it as well. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/67 "2004-11-10T03:19:16Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Nah, I’m not gonna start a new thread, I’ll just cuss out USPS and/or Canada Post right here! > > USPS, you jackasses, you told me it would get there in 4 to 7 days. It’s now been 15. I had that package properly addressed, with a clear _return address_ as well. So even if you bozos could find who it was going TO, it should have been returned to me as well. > > I’m assuming it was stolen from the mail service of one country or another. I had to list the contents of the package, and it said “teabags” Someone decided it wasn’t valuble enough to insure, so they grabbed it. > > Stupid idiots. May you scald your furry tongue on the tea intended for someone else. > > **Emperor Penguin** , I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Perhaps you can order from Twining’s directly. But if not, I can send you the address of the store in Lawrence, Kansas, that I bought the tea from. It’s called Brits, in the 900 block of Massachusetts. Lawrence Kansas. You can probably google it as well. Actually, the tea just arrived. Mind you, the postal service took their sweet time getting it here, so I think most of your rant still stands. At any rate, it is here, and I’m in the middle of my first cup. It is divine. Thank you again for sending this my way. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/68 "2004-11-10T03:24:11Z")
Umm, oops. :smack: I suppose I _could_ stick my foot further into my mouth, but damn, it did take a long time. Glad you like the tea. When you get low, let me know, I’ll get more. Isn’t the SDMB great? Now I need to go get a cup of my own. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/69 "2004-11-22T21:43:53Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > I’m with **Qad** - strong flavors = good. Half the time, though, the only other one around here that appreciates 'em is the dog. > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by EddyTeddyFreddy > > I haven’t been able to find gunpowder green tea around my neck of the woods, though. > > Email me with your snail addy and I’ll send you a box. Ahhhhhhh… Just wanted to thank you again, as I sit here sipping my latest cup of gunpowder tea, thanks to your generosity. Mmmmmmmmmm… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/70 "2004-11-22T22:08:07Z")
**ETF** , I lurve me some rooibos tea. My favortie so far is a brand I picked up from Trader Joe’s - Organic Rooibos from African Red Tea Imports. Hmmmmmm, think I’ll have a cup now, thank you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/72 "2015-05-20T18:37:36Z")
Do zombies drink tea? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/73 "2015-05-20T18:42:24Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Do zombies drink tea? No but spammers do. Reported. ( **bumbik** ) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/74 "2015-05-20T18:48:31Z")
It’s been 11 years… does Lapsang Souchong still taste like licking the muddy tire from a pickup truck that just did donuts in the asphalt parking lot of a BBQ joint? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/75 "2015-05-20T18:59:35Z")
Well, I certainly still can’t pronounce, spell or identify it. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/76 "2015-05-20T19:23:36Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > It’s been 11 years… does Lapsang Souchong still taste like licking the muddy tire from a pickup truck that just did donuts in the asphalt parking lot of a BBQ joint? 11 years. Wow. That’s oolong time. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/77 "2015-05-20T20:19:33Z")
**Moderator Note** This is a zombie thread that was raised by a spammer, who has since been wished away to the cornfield. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/78 "2015-05-20T20:23:58Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > 11 years. Wow. That’s oolong time. After all that time \*someone \*had to pekoe ver at this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/79 "2015-05-20T21:26:01Z")
Tea hee, puns are just sooo clever. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/80 "2015-05-20T22:25:22Z")
Old discussion about tea? Assam-bie thread? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956/81 "2015-05-20T23:18:17Z")
These puns are puer torture. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lapsang-souchong-is-vile/269956.md?page=5)