# Large Age Difference In Couples **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2003, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272 "2003-06-25T12:21:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/41 "2012-07-08T01:57:59Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > I don’t think the age difference really would have mattered had their ages been closer **Hmm. Yes. Quote of the thread.** 😉 > [@UrbanChic](#): > > I am four months older than my husband. The age difference is something we’ve learned to overcome. Um, I’m guessing you meant _years_, not months. Right? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/42 "2012-07-08T02:14:07Z")
Speaking of years… ---
**Author:** ![nthaniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/df788c/32.png) [@nthaniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nthaniel)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/43 "2012-07-08T05:37:40Z")
> [@Evil\_One](#): > > My wife and I are 20 years apart in age. She is 21 and I am 41. We get along very well, and have been married for two years. I’m curious if other dopers have similar relationships…and if any age-related pitfalls have come up as the relationship progresses. No, there aren’t any hidden issues. I’m just trying to get a glimpse of the future through the experiences of others. My wife and I are 16 years apart in age. I am 37, she is 53. We married when we were 30 and 46. So far, age has never presented a problem, as far as attitude and such. Health problems, on the other hand, can cause strain on both of our bodies AND our ability to get along, sometimes. I am her primary caretaker, so I get really really tired sometimes, but there’s always something else to do, and I get cranky and bitchy, unfortunately. I can deal with all that, as long as she can put up with me. As one person already said, though, I do get very afraid about the whole death situation. My wife has emphysema, among many other health problems, so I guess I’m a little obsessive about wondering if I’ll wake up a widower some morning. God, that would break my world, but I’d have to keep going for our kids and grandkids, who accepted me from day one as Dad/Pops and Grandpa. I LOVE being a grandfather, by the way! My kids (including our daughters and their children) are totally AWESOME!!! Our younger daughter, who is going to turn 21 in November, tells me I’m her best friend. She’s mine, too, in a way, but I could say that of each of them. Each one is the most special, important person in the world, but it doesn’t take away from any of the others. Anyway, back to the point…if you can accept each other as realistically as your wedding vows say, then age isn’t really a problem. I promised til death do we part, and that’s what it will take. ---
**Author:** ![nthaniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/df788c/32.png) [@nthaniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nthaniel)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/44 "2012-07-08T05:53:46Z")
And I didn’t notice until AFTER my post that most of this thread was from nine years back! lol ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/45 "2012-07-08T10:05:16Z")
I am exactly 20 years older than my partner (same birthday), and in a few months we’ll have been together 25 years. At the beginning, it seemed that we were from different universes . . . different taste in music, movies, books, clothing, etc. By now, though, it seems we’ve learned so much from each other, and met somewhere in the middle. But my aging body is beginning to be a problem . . . at least for me. I’ll be having open-heart surgery next month, and my partner will have to help out considerably more than usual. I don’t like being a burden that way, though he says he’s happy to do it. All in all, though, I think the age difference has been more of a plus than a minus. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/46 "2012-07-08T11:32:35Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > **Hmm. Yes. Quote of the thread.** 😉 > > Um, I’m guessing you meant _years_, not months. Right? I think it was a joke, at this point, an old joke! ---
**Author:** ![janeslogin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@janeslogin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janeslogin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/47 "2012-07-08T22:22:17Z")
My wife and I got married when she was 25 and I was 50. We have been married for 25 years now. No kids. No problems. BTW, she does some kind of classified work for the government. She leaves early each Monday morning and returns late each Thursday night. The age difference is probably an asset as each could care less what the other is doing. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/48 "2012-07-08T22:29:38Z")
I am ten years older than Marcie and we all know how that worked out. Plus, she could beat the hell out of me if she chose to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/49 "2012-07-08T22:30:04Z")
> [@janeslogin](#): > > My wife and I got married when she was 25 and I was 50. No problems… BTW, she does some kind of classified work for the government. She leaves early each Monday morning and returns late each Thursday night. :dubious: j/k ---
**Author:** ![listedmia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@listedmia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/listedmia)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/50 "2012-07-08T22:42:04Z")
I’m 22, boyfriend is 41. We’ve been dating for less than 6 months and I moved in with him due to financial necessity probably earlier than I should have. Otherwise, the relationship is great. He’s pretty immature and we oddly enough have very similar interests. I somewhat doubt we’ll still be together in 20 years, though. I don’t think I want to be wife number three, and I’m kinda meh about having children with him. My mother died at 40 and I’m terrified of my old man croaking or getting a horrible disease before these hypothetical children are grown up. ---
**Author:** ![Sherry\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Sherry\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherry_Burke)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/51 "2012-07-14T13:12:37Z")
When I’ve talked to one of my friend about this (yes after having a look of this thread I’ve concern this all to one of my friend) then he said My individual conventional for age variations in my own [relationship](http://www.datingdownunder.com.au/Australian%20Dating%20Sites.html) connections was simple: if I could have given beginning to you, or you could have fathered me, that was a bit more of a distinction than I was entirely relaxed with. ---
**Author:** ![tiggerandpooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@tiggerandpooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggerandpooh)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/52 "2014-01-10T02:18:08Z")
> [@Evil\_One](#): > > My wife and I are 20 years apart in age. She is 21 and I am 41. We get along very well, and have been married for two years. I’m curious if other dopers have similar relationships…and if any age-related pitfalls have come up as the relationship progresses. No, there aren’t any hidden issues. I’m just trying to get a glimpse of the future through the experiences of others. Me and my husband are 22 years apart i’m 29 her is 51. We’ve been together 3 years will be married 1 year in july I’m scared about losing him too but its that part that makes our love stronger because we want to make the most of the love and time that we have with us and our kids we have six kids 2 from my ex and 3 with his ex and we have one together so we’ve both been married before and we work together to keep him and myself health so that we can have along life together so that we can watch our kids and hopeful grandkids grow up but you have to have faith that if your that much in love that it will last as long as you two have eachother ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/53 "2014-01-10T02:44:42Z")
Anyone here have a partner with an 11-year age difference, as long a time distance as this thread is old? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/54 "2014-01-10T16:44:30Z")
I don’t know if its just my perception, but women seem to become emotionally mature before men. I’ve seen on more then a few occaisions ,same aged couples split up after a few years , because the woman has "grown up "from the 19 year old that she once was, while the man is still at that stage, and will continue to be so for several more years at least . So maybe older man/younger woman combinations can be good for stability and longer term happiness, though of course all people are different . ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/55 "2014-01-10T18:04:29Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > I don’t know if its just my perception, but women seem to become emotionally mature before men. Yeah, no. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/56 "2014-01-10T18:35:10Z")
It’s a double-zombie thread! Originally June 2003, resurrected briefly in July 2012, and resurrected again last night. We should be talking about the large age difference between the earliest and most recent posts! > [@EmilyG](#): > > Anyone here have a partner with an 11-year age difference, as long a time distance as this thread is old? The age difference between first and last posts is 10 years, 7 months - which is the age difference between my wife and me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/57 "2014-01-10T18:44:48Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Yeah, no. No, yeah. sorry, just wanted to say that. I don’t believe it either. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/58 "2014-01-10T18:47:17Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Yeah, no. No-they’re just the first to define the term and set the standards which the other half has to live up to. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/59 "2014-01-10T19:07:01Z")
Have you seen the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Robert starts dating a younger girl? It ends up that they were both lying about their ages- she claimed to be older and he said he was younger. it’s pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272/60 "2014-01-10T20:50:20Z")
I just turned 59 and started dating a guy who just turned 24. We’re both asexual, which is a bonus, but anyone who says it isn’t a love match will get hit with my cane. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-age-difference-in-couples/184272.md?page=4)