# Large penii (dick) jokes....Dont you just get a kick out of 'em? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526 "2003-12-29T04:45:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smsaks2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@smsaks2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smsaks2000)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/1 "2003-12-29T04:45:13Z")
šŸ˜ƒ Hopefully this is not a taboo topic or one that will cause much concern from the moderatorsā€¦butā€¦I just cant resist the opportunity to add to my collection of dick jokes. I just happen to find dick jokes hugely (pardon the pun) funny!!! So, share with me some of your favorite dick jokes or one liners which you find funny, amusing or, as is the case with myself, factual!!! (I couldnt resist!!!) 1. My dick is so big it has a lobby and elevators. 2. My dick is so big it has mile markers and rest stops. 3. My dick is so big, it has four smaller dicks orbiting around it. 4. My dick is so big, itā€™s head is always covered in snow. 5. My dick is so big, an expedition has been organized to find the head. 6. My dick is so big, it leaves a womans vagina with more stitches than Frankenstein. (Kool G. Rap gets credit for that oneā€¦) O.K. peopleā€¦shareā€¦discussā€¦elaborateā€¦lieā€¦whateverā€¦ Laterā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/2 "2003-12-29T04:57:04Z")
Youā€™ve got to be dicking meā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![smsaks2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@smsaks2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smsaks2000)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/3 "2003-12-29T05:53:13Z")
Seriously, Iā€™m not dicking aroundā€¦ Laterā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/4 "2003-12-29T06:09:58Z")
Two men go hiking in the woods, about 2 hours into it they mutually agree itā€™s time for a pit stop. So they stop on the bank of a small stream and relieve themselves. Not wanting to create an akward silence the first man says ā€œBoy this waterā€™s cold!ā€ the second man says ā€œYeah, deep tooā€¦ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/5 "2003-12-29T06:20:37Z")
N N No, I d d do donā€™t. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![smsaks2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@smsaks2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smsaks2000)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/6 "2003-12-29T07:27:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Call me Frank \* > \*\*Two men go hiking in the woods, about 2 hours into it they mutually agree itā€™s time for a pit stop. So they stop on the bank of a small stream and relieve themselves. Not wanting to create an akward silence the first man says ā€œBoy this waterā€™s cold!ā€ the second man says ā€œYeah, deep tooā€¦ā€ \*\* I do that everytime Iā€™m using a urinal. Not one trip to the bathroom getā€™s by without me proclaiming that the water is cold, deep and has a sandy bottom. Maybe Iā€™m just a childish freak, but that stuff still cracks me up at the age of 33. My wife doesnt think this stuff is too funnyā€¦butā€¦she understands that Iā€™m just a kid at heart. Hereā€™s moreā€¦ 1. My dick is so big, it can only be deep-throated by a giraffe. 2. My dick is so big, it has itā€™s own dickā€¦and my dickā€™s dick is bigger than yours. (Drew Carrey gets credit for this oneā€¦) 3. My dick is so big, it has itā€™s own transit system. 4. My dick is so big, itā€™s the 51st state. 5. A woman once told me that she wanted a man with a 9 inch dickā€¦my replyā€¦ā€œI fold my dick for no woman!!ā€ Laterā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/7 "2003-12-29T07:40:35Z")
1. My dick is so big they made a movie called ā€œGodzilla Vs. My Dick!!ā€ 2. My dick is so big that when you buy drinks, you can get them in four sizes, Small, Medium, Large, and My Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/8 "2003-12-29T07:43:13Z")
Hey, I donā€™t mean to brag, but I lost my right leg to gangreneā€¦ I get around ok, though šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![xayoz306](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xayoz306](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xayoz306)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/9 "2003-12-29T07:46:07Z")
My dick is so big, itā€™s in the other room making us drinks. My dick is so big, it provides shelter for a family of four. My dick is so big, Iā€™m getting laid in Missouri (I live in Saskatchewan) ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/10 "2003-12-29T08:13:57Z")
1. My dick is so big, itā€™s got itā€™s own zip code. 2. My dick is so big, it makes other dicks call itā€™s secretary for appointments. 3. My dick is so big, it makes people call it ā€œMr. Dickā€. 4. My dick is so big, airliners have to be rerouted around it. 5. My dick is so big, Jack Nicholson claims it as a friend. And Brad Pitt, too. Tripler Thatā€™s it. Iā€™m petered out. . . ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/11 "2003-12-29T13:24:19Z")
Whereā€™s **WeirdDave** and his Enormously Enlarged Penis when you need him? ---
**Author:** ![born\_too\_late](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@born\_too\_late](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/born_too_late)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/12 "2003-12-29T13:48:36Z")
My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a french tickler. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum. (more Drew Carey) ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/13 "2003-12-29T14:44:12Z")
My dickā€™s so big, it drives and I ride shotgun. My dickā€™s so big, it drives a motorcycle with a sidecar for my balls. My dickā€™s so big, it lifts weights while Iā€™m doing cardio. My dickā€™s so big, it bitch-slapped Ron Jeremy. My dickā€™s so big, it gets upgraded to First Class when I fly. My dickā€™s so big, that the Great Wall of China is jealous. My dickā€™s so big, that when I went to Minneapolis, it went to St Paulā€¦ and that was on a COLD day! My dickā€™s so big, that itā€™s getting itā€™s own sitcom on the WB. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/14 "2003-12-29T14:54:10Z")
Thereā€™s one or two in here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19152](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19152) ---
**Author:** ![Bernard\_Marx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@Bernard\_Marx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bernard_Marx)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/15 "2003-12-29T15:42:51Z")
Slightly different approachā€¦ my girlfriend told me to give her nine inches and make it hurtā€¦so I screwed her three times and hit her in the face with a brick. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/16 "2003-12-29T16:37:30Z")
One of my favorites from the linked thread: My dick is so big you need a fishing license to take a sperm sample. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/17 "2004-01-09T15:07:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tir Tinuviel \* > \*\*Whereā€™s **WeirdDave** and his Enormously Enlarged Penis when you need him? \*\* Sorry, Iā€™ve beenā€¦erā€¦busy with my wife. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/18 "2004-01-09T19:45:00Z")
-My dickā€™s so big that every time I have sex, itā€™s a threesomeā€¦ Me, my wife and my dick. -My dickā€™s so big that I have to pay extra on the toll-roads. -My dickā€™s so big, my wife gave me a hummerā€¦ the original, not the H2. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/19 "2004-01-09T19:58:56Z")
My dick is so big itā€™s in orbit My dickā€™s so big you can see it coming a mile away. (heh) My dickā€™s so big every time I get hard I pass out. My dickā€™s so big it only plays stadiums. My dickā€™s so big it has itā€™s own fake i.d. My dickā€™s so big itā€™s about to click submit for me. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526/20 "2004-01-09T20:07:59Z")
My dick is so big it made me type ā€œitā€™sā€ instead of ā€œits.ā€ My Dick is so big I wear it as a tie. My Dick is so big itā€™s spelled with a capital D. My Dick is so big it named me. My Dick is so big it gets comped rooms in Vegas. My Dick is so big that if you look up ā€œbigā€ in the dictionary, it just says ā€œ_see lightingtoolā€™s Dick_ā€ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-penii-dick-jokes-dont-you-just-get-a-kick-out-of-em/221526.md?page=2)