# Large woman = "real woman" - huh? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731 "2003-08-17T05:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![transitionality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@transitionality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/transitionality)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/41 "2003-08-19T07:11:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cajela \* > \*\*On that subject - you do realise that even the supermodels don’t look like that in real life? Hours of makeup, supercareful lighting effects, and then the photos are further digitally manipulated. I think it was Cindy Crawford who said “Even I don’t look like Cindy Crawford”. \*\* This is another one of those tired old myths that physically unattractive women trot out every time. It may not be complete bullshit in the strict sense of the word, but it comes close. Look, you can smooth out a skin blemish, whiten out the teeth a little bit, or add some luster to the lips with photo manipulation software. But you’re not going to shrink down a woman 6 sizes and still make her look realistic. You’re not going to make her breasts suddenly start defying gravity. You have to start with pretty good base material. What happens with photo manipulation is that you take a woman who would already rate a 9.5/10 on the hottitude scale, make her dress up and pose in ways that make her look 9.75/10, and then clean up the final product to make her look 9.9/10. Then you publish. In short, you start with pretty fucking hot and you end up with real fucking hot. The difference is marginal. Guys don’t care if a woman is almost perfect or virtually perfect. We still want to fuck her. And this drives “real women” mad. ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/42 "2003-08-19T07:33:15Z")
what is large ? if you use elevator to go up to third floor - you are large. ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/43 "2003-08-19T07:40:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\*Many of us guys (most of us, really) prefer women with a lot more meat on their bones. > \*\* so very true ! however, the key word is MEAT as in NOT FAT. i certainly like to see meat on the bones, but not fat on the meat. ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/44 "2003-08-19T07:59:23Z")
CrazyCatLady i disagree. large women do not look any more “adult” than skinny/petite. they just look fat 🙂 a person can be obese at any age, its not like we dont have obese children in this country. as for curves, curves definitely RULE but fat doesn’t make women more curvey. more often than not it does the opposite. ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/45 "2003-08-19T08:28:57Z")
this is perfection right here ladies : [http://www.allposters.com/gallery.asp?aid=15282&item=380656](http://www.allposters.com/gallery.asp?aid=15282&item=380656) and this : [![](http://static.hugedomains.com/images/logo_huge_domains.gif) ](http://static.hugedomains.com/images/logo_huge_domains.gif) and everything in between, but NOT outside this range 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/46 "2003-08-19T09:40:52Z")
in any case the second link ( that don’t work ) was monica belucci. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/47 "2003-08-19T10:39:05Z")
Oh no. **vasyachkin** says I’m not attractive because I’m not in the Halle Berry–Monica Bellucci weight range. This isn’t the Pit, but I’ve put up with crap from guys like you all my life about how “fat” I am, or how I could look so much better… You know what? My boyfriend thinks I’m hot. My past boyfriends have all thought (and still think) I’m hot. Men and women alike have told me I’m hot. The doctor says I’m healthy, my curves are kickin’, and I’m not terribly worried. What really sucks is that attitudes like this are why a lot of girls spend most of their lives feeling unworthy. If I posted pics of Jude Law and Brad Pitt and said Guys, this is the only attractive weight range for you, I’d get called out, and rightly so. That’s so ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![transitionality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@transitionality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/transitionality)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/48 "2003-08-19T11:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nocturne \* > **You know what? My boyfriend thinks I’m hot. My past boyfriends have all thought (and still think) I’m hot. Men and women alike have told me I’m hot.** You know what? I don’t think you’re hot. **vasyachkin** doesn’t think you’re hot. Most guys don’t think you’re hot. And don’t you dare deny it because we both know this to be true. You know what? If a girl that looked anything like Halle Berry or Monica Belluci gave your boyfriend the time of day, he’d dump your ass in a split second. And don’t you dare deny it because we both know this to be true. As for Jude Law and Brad Pitt and etc. etc. Pfffffft. Who cares. Guys have enough trouble seducing women. We go through rejections like you go through bonbons. We get used to it pretty early on. We get rejected for all kinds of reasons. I could care less about getting rejected by yet another woman. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/49 "2003-08-19T12:55:45Z")
Wow, **transitionality,** you sure know how to make a name for yourself in the Full Of Shit Newbie Hall Of Fame. Bitter much? Geez. I guess a few “large ladies” have rejected you, and you want to fight back? Trust me, my dear. Nobody is “driven mad” by your desire to fuck _anyone,_ because from your posts, I’d lay odds that your _desire_ will be where it starts and stops. And that’s including the “real women” who have not, apparently, seen fit to give you the time of day. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/50 "2003-08-19T13:07:07Z")
I agree with those who said that it’s a backlash to the media’s portrayal of “real” women who’ve been enhanced surgically or digitally. I’ve heard it used a couple of times in real life, and never felt that the speaker meant it in a perjorative sense. I _have_ had someone say to me with a sneer “I bet you’re always on a diet” and I took great delight in informing the bitch that I just have mah-vellous genes. A size 22 woman is just as real as size 2 me. The only difference is that the media constantly tells me that my body is desirable and beautiful. I have absolutely zero problems with larger women telling themselves that they are also desirable and beautiful too. I have to say though, any guy telling me to have giant boobs, a flat stomach, a tiny waist, and long legs had better live up to similar scrutiny. **transitionality** , I’m guessing that more often than not, you get rejected for that charming personality of yours. Women get really hot when you list all of their flaws and compare them to movie stars. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/51 "2003-08-19T13:34:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \* > \*\*Nitpick: It’s **Camryn Manheim**. And Manheim is now on a course of extremely significant weight loss, and there is a strong indication that given its rapidity, she’s had some form of weight-loss surgery. For me, a “real woman” is a woman who doesn’t allow outside pressures, especially inappropriate outside pressures, be they from parents, partners, the media or whatever, to make her feel it necessary to alter her body – be that through weight loss, weight gain, breast implants, liposuction or something as simple as hair dye. A real woman is someone who is assured of themselves enough to make those choices because of what feels right to them, not in order to conform with exterior standards. As a secondary definition, it’s a woman whose bicep remains the largest part of her arm instead of her elbow, but that’s just my catty “watching Friends and wondering why in hell Jennifer and Courtney now look like the big-headed pre-teen brothers of the women who starred on the show in the first season” reaction. Oh, and as a clue-phone kinda thing – most men, the kinds who are too old to have pin-ups on their walls, have realized something that women know all too well. There are about 2,999,999, 800 women who look like your mother, your sister, your co-worker, your boss, the librarian and the crossing guard and the clerk at the convenience store. Halle and Cindy and Gwyneth and the rest of those women held up as the “height” of feminine desirability are anomalies. They’re oddballs. There are about 200 of them in the world, that’s all. Worship them if you will, but those who live in reality know that the truth is that they’re the ones who aren’t in _our_ league, not vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/52 "2003-08-19T13:51:30Z")
I’m 6’2" (188cm) [weight proportionate], I call myself a Big Woman 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/53 "2003-08-19T14:21:17Z")
Hey, I like women to be thin. That’s my preference. There are many girls that are of a reasonable weight that I think are too large for me. I don’t like “meat on the bones.” I know there is a big difference between this and overweight but it doesn’t mean that I can make myself attracted to people I’m not. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Nocturne_ > The doctor says I’m healthy, my curves are kickin’, and I’m not terribly worried. What really sucks is that attitudes like this are why a lot of girls spend most of their lives feeling unworthy. And I don’t see why I should try to be attracted to big girls so they don’t have self-esteem issues. And **Nocturne** could “post… pics of Jude Law and Brad Pitt and [say] Guys, this is the only attractive weight range for you” but I wouldn’t be offended by it. You know why? Because I don’t feel that the population should start considering me beautiful. I accept that little skinny guys aren’t everyone’s idea of attractive, and move on. Maybe I should change. Maybe I should say that I’m a real man, unlike those muscled studs, and that anyone who doesn’t go wild with desire over me is only doing so because the media has told them that they should only find Brad Pitt attractive :rolleyes:. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Evil Captor_ > I think scr4 got it in one. Whether or not Callista Flockhart and Lara Flynn Boyle are obsessive dieters or just naturally thin, they ARE presented as ideal women, and as others have pointed out, it’s a weird thing since most women are not built like that, and most guys aren’t attracted to women who are built like that – after all, who’s the most downloaded woman on the Internet – Danni Ashe, and she’s definitely not skinny, got great big huge tits and a great big butt, too, and I for one am glad of it. What planet do you live on? The only thing I’ve ever seen Calista Flockhart presented as is the anti-christ (and probably anorexic) because she dares be skinny. When she’s commented on (whether in the media or outside of it), it usually runs along the lines of how unnatractively thin she is. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby_ > It drives me nuts though that the clothing sizes are often cut and marketed in such a way that anyone who may want to wear them probably can’t, or won’t be able to find anything in their size. Also, a question: if this is so, why do the stores selling these clothes stay in business? ---
**Author:** ![transitionality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@transitionality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/transitionality)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/54 "2003-08-19T16:55:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kayeby \* > \*\ ***transitionality** , I’m guessing that more often than not, you get rejected for that charming personality of yours. Women get really hot when you list all of their flaws and compare them to movie stars. :rolleyes: \*\* Nonsense. George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe are all certifiable assholes, far more caustic and immature and selfish than I could possibly hope to be in a lifetime, yet I do not know of a single woman who would pass up a chance to spend a night with any one of them, _regardless of their current relationship status at this very moment in time._ Women are fairly shallow creatures, easily excited by a combination of looks, riches, fame, net desirability coefficient (number of other women who also desire the man, for whatever reason – yes, very sheeplike) and a tight butt. Men are shallow, too, I’m not denying that one bit – but at least we’re NOT dishonest about it. We don’t have pretensions to sophistication when it comes to sex. We don’t make top-ten lists and put “eyes, intelligence, sense of humor” at the very top of ours. We put “legs, boobs, butt” at the very top, the same way a woman might put “net worth, net desirability coefficient, tight butt” at the very top of her _honest_ list. So it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/55 "2003-08-19T17:13:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AntaresJB \* > \*\*FTR, I don’t think I’ve ever referred to myself as a “real” women, though I have called myself large and lovely, big and beautiful, and a sexy fat chick. 🙂 \*\* Sexy fat chicks of the world, unite! 🙂 I’m five foot nothing, and fluctuate anywhere from 150 to 200 pounds. I’m lucky enough to be well-proportioned, however, and I’ve never met a single person who wasn’t surprised at how heavy I actually am. The media-typical must-have-her female is a _myth_. I know many, many “real” women, from friends who are one inch shy of the technical definition of “dwarf” and have to shop in the kids’ section, to six-footers who can’t find pretty shoes in their size. Not a single one of my female friends or acquaintances fits the “beautiful people” mold. So I guess the question is, why is that mold still so prevalent? I mean, most men I’ve met are nowhere near supermodel-league … so why do they ignore the women who don’t quite fit? Ooh, that got a little righteous and ranty. Sorry 'bout that! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vasyachkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c5a1d2/32.png) [@vasyachkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vasyachkin)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/56 "2003-08-19T21:06:37Z")
good post gex gex > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gex gex \* > **Maybe I should change. Maybe I should say that I’m a real man, unlike those muscled studs, and that anyone who doesn’t go wild with desire over me is only doing so because the media has told them that they should only find Brad Pitt attractive :rolleyes:.** exactly ! 🙂 you know, as somebody who has been bodybuilding since age 16 it pisses me off at what people call “Unrealistic” standards. neither monica belucci nor halle berry are at an unhealthy bodyfat %. i put those two girls as examples of a thin frame and a full frame ( or big-boned as you like to call it ). and i believe 95% of women with proper diet and exercise can get into this range. i specifically consider those girls to represent VERY REALISTIC standards. and NOW i will show you unrealistic standards: [http://perso.wanadoo.fr/lothaire/gallery/bea16.jpg](http://perso.wanadoo.fr/lothaire/gallery/bea16.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/57 "2003-08-19T22:03:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gex gex \* > > Hey, I like women to be thin. That’s my preference. There are many girls that are of a reasonable weight that I think are too large for me. I don’t like “meat on the bones.” I know there is a big difference between this and overweight but it doesn’t mean that I can make myself attracted to people I’m not. Hey, I don’t have a problem with that at all! I know it seemed like I did, but I didn’t mean to come across that way. If you like thin girls, that’s great. I find a lot of thin girls attractive (I’m bi). Mostly I’m attracted to girls that are size 8-20, though. On the other hand, I’m mostly attracted to skinny guys, not teddy bear types or bodybuilders (there are some exceptions). However, (this is what I really object to) I don’t go around saying “If you’re a skinny girl or a not-skinny guy you are not attractive at all.” This is what I’m getting from **transitionality** and **vasyachkin**. And by the way, **transitionality** , my boyfriend would not dump me for a Halle Berry or Monica Bellucci type. Just because you find something attractive doesn’t mean that everyone does. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/58 "2003-08-19T22:26:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by transitionality \* > **Nonsense. George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe are all certifiable assholes, far more caustic and immature and selfish than I could possibly hope to be in a lifetime, yet I do not know of a single woman who would pass up a chance to spend a night with any one of them, _regardless of their current relationship status at this very moment in time._** Well, now you know one. I would not walk across the street for one of these guys, let alone spend the night with one of them. The personality trumps the looks everytime, and nothing I’ve seen or read leads me to believe these are men I’d enjoy spending time with. Tom Hanks, Paul Newman–I wouldn’t risk a relationship for them, but then, neither would they. When I was a young, pretty slender woman with a great personality, I dated short men, overweight men, and geeky guys as well as few more traditionally handsome guys, and I fell in love with an old, balding man–all because they were good men. I want to second what **Nocturne** said: You can be attracted to anybody you want, but if your not attracted to a particular body type, don’t act as though he or she can’t be attractive to somebody else. And don’t presume to tell me who I’ll be attracted to. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/59 "2003-08-19T23:07:19Z")
I can’t believe nobody has yet cited the 2002 film **_Real Women Have Curves_.** You mean none of you have even heard of the movie, let alone seen it? The movie, directed by Patricia Cardoso, starred [America Ferrera](http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/newmarket/real_women_have_curves/america_ferrera/curves.jpg) as an 18-year old Mexican American in Los Angeles. She is built pretty hefty. At one point in the movie she takes off her shirt (but leaves her bra on) when her boyfriend requests her to, and looks in the mirror. He stands behind her and tells her how beautiful she is. This scene is shot with very soft lighting. As he admires her curves, she smiles and seems to glow with self-esteem and the warm & fuzzy feeling of being loved. ---
**Author:** ![Reinhold\_Messner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Reinhold\_Messner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reinhold_Messner)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/60 "2003-08-19T23:16:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by transitionality \* > \*\*You know what? I don’t think you’re hot. **vasyachkin** doesn’t think you’re hot. Most guys don’t think you’re hot. And don’t you dare deny it because we both know this to be true. > > You know what? If a girl that looked anything like Halle Berry or Monica Belluci gave your boyfriend the time of day, he’d dump your ass in a split second. And don’t you dare deny it because we both know this to be true.\*\* You’re more than welcome to speak for yourselves . . . but when you attempt to speak for me, much less for “most guys,” you simply prove how ignorant you are. Which is exactly why people who are _not_ shallow, pretentious, or who otherwise allow their preferences be controlled my mass media couldn’t care less about your opinions. I’m not saying that I don’t consider those women attractive. However, since when is your narrow view the same as everyone else’s? I’m lying if I say I find my girlfriend attractive, or that I don’t limit my scope to world-class atheletes, anorexics, or “thin” women in general? I’d “dump her ass in a split second”? Get over yourself, man. Are you aware that the popular view of female attractiveness in much of the 19th and early 20th centuries consisted of women with a significant amount of “meat on their bones”? Believe it or not, there were also variances in opinion back then . . . and yours wasn’t the one publicized. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731.md?page=4)