# Large woman = "real woman" - huh? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 17, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731 "2003-08-17T05:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/141 "2003-08-23T11:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by transitionality_ > You misrepresent yourself as being attractive. You’re not. Ask a 1000-men sample representative of the general population whether they find you attractive and see what the results are. > > P.S. Fat-chick-fetish boards are not representative of the general population. Dude, the view of larger women being attractive (not one that I share) is hardly a fetish. So mainstream is it that it has made it in to the realm of popular music: > [@](#): > > _from De La Soul’s "Baby Phat_ > Your shape’s not what I date > It’s you, my crew don’t mind it thick > Every woman ain’t a video chick > Or runway model anorexic > I love what I can hold and grab on > So if you burn it off then keep the flab on > […] > Skip the salad girl, bring us both the menus > Eat the whole box of chocolates I send you ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/142 "2003-08-23T13:39:07Z")
IMHO, a “real woman” is a gal who can out-burp and out-fart me. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/143 "2003-08-23T16:27:20Z")
So, eructation gives you an erection? ---
**Author:** ![transitionality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@transitionality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/transitionality)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/144 "2003-08-23T16:49:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > **What I DID say was that men I dated found me attractive. Am I? I don’t seem to have trouble “getting” who I want.** You do have trouble getting who you want. By your own admission, you have to patronize fat-chick-fetish boards and fly all over the country just to get laid. That’s pathetic. Try going to a local bar, nightclub, mall, or any social venue, and see how many guys hit on you. ---
**Author:** ![teemingONE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@teemingONE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teemingONE)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/145 "2003-08-23T16:52:39Z")
In my opinion, Tara Reid is the most beautiful, sexy, girl in the entire world. Shes not skinny, shes nice and svelte. But she is also a “real” woman, if you see a picture of her taken one week, and then see one taken of her the next week, she may have put on 5 maybe 10 pounds. She is by no means fat, but she did gain weight. By the time you see her again, she may have lost the weight she put on. That is what I believe to be real. You can interpret what I mean anyway you want. ---
**Author:** ![transitionality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@transitionality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/transitionality)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/146 "2003-08-23T16:55:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gex gex \* > \*\*Dude, the view of larger women being attractive (not one that I share) is hardly a fetish. So mainstream is it that it has made it in to the realm of popular music: \*\* De La Soul is about as popular as the Malaysian Philarmonic. Nobody listens to them, no radio stations play them, and they hardly sell any records. I mean, please. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/147 "2003-08-23T17:09:24Z")
I’m between a size 12-14, depending on the clothes. I’m short but proportional - my build means I will always have curves no matter how much I weigh. I play hockey three seasons out of the year, do yoga and Pilates. I can out leg press a lot of men I know. I may not be thin, but I’m hot. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/148 "2003-08-23T18:25:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by transitionality \* > \*\*You do have trouble getting who you want. By your own admission, you have to patronize fat-chick-fetish boards and fly all over the country just to get laid. > > That’s pathetic. > > Try going to a local bar, nightclub, mall, or any social venue, and see how many guys hit on you. \*\* **Moderator’s note:** Okay, enough of the gratuitious hostility, **transitionality**. First off, personal insults and flaming are _not_ permitted in **IMHO**. Second, I’ve been keeping a close eye on your participation here and to date your major contribution seems to be spreading around hatefulness just for the kick of it. That’s called being a troll. We don’t keep trolls around. Consider yourself officially warned. You either clean up your act or you will be banned. TVeblen, for the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/149 "2003-08-23T19:15:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by transitionality \* > \*\*You do have trouble getting who you want. By your own admission, you have to patronize fat-chick-fetish boards and fly all over the country just to get laid. > > That’s pathetic. > > Try going to a local bar, nightclub, mall, or any social venue, and see how many guys hit on you. \*\* LOL, I TEACH dance at two local nightclubs as well as the local university. Trying to find a man at a bar for a relationship is just silly, bars are just meatmarkets. I’m not the least interested in casual sex. I have an ongoing longterm relationship. With a guy who’s been both my best friend and my boyfriend. I dated out of state when he and I weren’t exlusive. As to your other “questions” 1.) I said that other men in my online board had brought the "fat chick lover’s boards to my attention. 2.) I flew outside to MEET men I was dating. Not sure where you got I was flying there “to get laid”. IMHO, it has nothing to do with pathetic, Alaskan men (except for the one I’m with currently) don’t appeal to me. And for this reason, I intend to move to the states. I currently live in Alaska. Men up here tend to have a very "hunting/fishing/snowmachining/Grizzly Adams on the Last Frontier mentality that does not appeal to me. I’m into theatre, dancing, big city stuff like extreme roller coasters, nice restaurants (I’d like to go see “Phantom of the Opera” where audience members were a LITTLE more dressed up than in flannels and mukluks). I haven’t posted my pics, (I don’t know how on this board) so you have no way of knowing whether I’m “attractive” or not. Again, part of the reason you’re having so much trouble, is because you’ve veered WAY of course regarding the OP, and the answers given by dopers TO the OP. And that is, that the major beef regarding “real women vs. ridiculous airbrushed standards” was NOT with the models/actresses themselves, but with the industry/mentality that insists upon doing the airbrushing etc. **The Moderator’s right now** and I apologize if I’ve contributed, but I’m somewhat curious as to this young man’s motivation (beyond his cover-up facade of needing to be hostile etc). I’m curious as to how and why you came to believe the things you believe. Not sure if that’s still IMHO, but was interested in seeing what your opinions were on that. If it’s not imho request for info, then I apologize to the mod. At any rate, is it your premise that a woman is either “Halle Berry (or her like) gorgeous” or is conversely simply “not attractive”? No levels of “good looks”?? Just either Attractive, or Not 'Attractive?? And is it further your opinion that top good looks and perfect fitness, and ONLY top good looks and perfect fitness are the criteria for judging “Attractive” vs “Non Attractive”?? Personality, brains, attitude, clean natural health (whether over a size 2 or not) don’t count at all? You seem to have a rigid, extremist black/white attitude about this. Also, since it’s obvious no one is going to “talk you out of” doing what it is you want to do regarding women, why not just share your opinions, and the whys of your opinions without all the rage and hostility? As someone else said, you have at least a basic knowledge of writing and expressing your opinions, how 'bout taking the hostility factor down a peg or 10, digging in, using some imagination, and giving us some real opinions, as opposed to merely spewing poison and insults? See, imho, anyone can simply fly-by and insult, it takes some brains to participate in an actual discussion. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/150 "2003-08-23T19:24:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*It was 1:00 a.m. Pacific Time. My partner and I were working Robbery, Homicide and Beauty when the call came in of a 10-36DD in progress – a woman was misrepresenting herself as attractive. Probably another member of that vicious new street gang in town, the “Real Women.” You see ‘em everywhere these days, hopped up on eyeliner and rouge, carrying little pictures of Brad Pitt or George Clooney around that they like to kiss when they think no one’s lookin’. Makes you afraid to walk out of the house. > > My name’s Friday. I’m a cabbage … I mean, I’m a cop. \*\* Snoooort!!! DAMMIT!! Another driveby snorting and near killing of a keyboard!!! ---
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/151 "2003-08-23T19:41:50Z")
Psalex: I am very sorry for your experiences. No one has a right to make comments about how someone eats or looks or accusing them of having a tapeworm . I know two women right off the top of my head who are small boned. They are very thin but that is just the way they are built. Look at [www.barenecessities.com](http://www.barenecessities.com). They sell bras in a whole range of sizes. I am a size 12 through 16. I have large bones. I am not jealous of anyone’s metabolism. I am very healthy. And for the record, the highest # of catcalls I have recieved in one day is 7. I think it is time that women got away from basing how they feel about themselves on their size. We need to develop our minds and character. But I think it is men who perpetuate what women should feel is important. In classes it is taught that women look for men to be good providers and successful and men look for physical beauty. Men believe that! And then they wonder why they are unhappy in their relationships. (This is a narrow generalization…I am aware that attractive people can be really smart). Guys just keep in mind that when looking for a soul mate (not just a weekend fling) make sure you don’t put looks in a class that is all important. You are probably missing out on a lot of great women. ---
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/152 "2003-08-23T19:54:34Z")
In a nutshell…a real woman is one who loves herself for who she is, accepts her flaws as she does her perfections and doesn’t give a royal rip about people who think otherwise. And “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. nuff said! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/154 "2003-08-23T21:27:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lucid Dreaming \* > \*\*As opposed to women who do not accept their flaws and work to overcome them & make themselves more beautiful (by dieting, exercising, dressing well and using makeup). > > Such women are “unreal” women and are deserving of scorn. \*\* Sneakin’ suspicion that this is just transit. incognito after his banning. Could be wrong, but the “style” seems familiar. ---
**Author:** ![jesleigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@jesleigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesleigh)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/155 "2003-08-24T01:05:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vasyachkin \* > \*\*loving somebody for the way they treat you - now THAT is shallow. you love somebody for who they are, NOT for what they do for you. \*\* I do expect a guy I am dating to treat me well, becuase I will treat him very well…I did not say I loved someone for the way they treated me…What I believe I said was that a guy that treated me with respect would cause me to have interest in them…love comes much later, and is based on many things. Looking back, you seem to have a habit of reading things totally out of context ---
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/156 "2003-08-24T02:25:44Z")
Jesleigh I agree with you a 110%. It is amazing how really attractive a guy can get when he is warm and loving. I would date a man who was not as attractive if he is a great person. And I have dumped guys who are mean and have no personality (like Lucid dreaming and Trans, as examples of men who are mean with no personalities) I think Lucid and Trans both live in a dreamworld. I had a discussion with some of my rather attractive friends and asked them if they would date someone who was brutally honest about a way a girl looks. And they said NO! There are just too many nice guys out there who will treat them well. The tell tale sign of how you are going to get treated is how they treat other women. I would personally never date anyone who treated another person is a cruel fashion. Lucid and trans both probably have no experience with women. And they are just making things up. Ignore them! And they are probably the same person. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/157 "2003-08-24T04:42:04Z")
[_ **Real Women Have Curves** _](http://www.realwomenhavecurves.com/) A sweet, unpretentious, fun little movie. See it if you ever get a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/158 "2003-08-24T06:32:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vasyachkin \* > \*\*loving somebody for the way they treat you - now THAT is shallow. you love somebody for who they are, NOT for what they do for you. \*\* How someone treats you and others says volumes about who they are. > [@](#): > > has anybody mentioned any good looking people who also had nice personalities ? it was always a contrast between good looking jerks and nice fat people. You’ve got a point here. There are a lot of good lookin’ people who are really good people on the inside. And there are some fat folks who are trolls on the inside. Just goes to show that how someone is on the outside can be decieving. But we do tend to assume good qualities from good lookin’ people. (there’s actually be research on it) The reverse is true for unattractive people. Assumptions are never good. ---
**Author:** ![apricot\_syrup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@apricot\_syrup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apricot_syrup)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/159 "2003-08-24T07:13:46Z")
Women will always say that they want to date a nice guy who treats them well. In reality, they befriend those guys, and date and mate complete assholes. Don’t believe the hype. Believe your own eyes. ---
**Author:** ![sleepytimebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@sleepytimebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleepytimebaby)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/160 "2003-08-24T12:35:12Z")
apricot, you are talking about girls not women. Women have grown out of that crap stage and date nice guys. spooje. good points. And sorry we all forgot about the attractive people who are wonderful on the inside and the non attractive who are rotten. I am also familiar with that research. But like any other research project that is done, it doesn’t tell the entire story. ---
**Author:** ![Dawne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731/161 "2003-08-24T13:51:09Z")
I’m getting quite confused by reading this thread, I had to stop at then end of the second page because i don’t know how big the women you’re talking about really are, unless the height and weight are specified. Since most of you are from the US you’re using what i presume to be US sizes, which i don’t understand. I don’t think any of my clothes have the US size next to the UK one so i can’t work out how big these people are in relation to me or any of the UK sizes i recognise. So how what size would i be in the US? I’m a UK size 8 (5"7, 100lbs). How do you convert the sizes? I really should know this by now because I’ve been to America a few times but I didn’tdo much clothes shopping and i only found things that were labelled in terms of how ‘small’ or ‘large’ they were. This would really help me to understand some of your views. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/large-woman-real-woman-huh/195731.md?page=9)