# Lasagne for clueless bachelors who can't fry water. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030 "2015-08-05T02:16:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/1 "2015-08-05T02:16:36Z")
Jon Arbuckle, of Garfield fame, is commonly portrayed as subsisting largely on lasagne. The implication being, apparently, that lasagne is an ideal bachelor food, so easy and simple to prepare that even a hopeless bachelor, who is so clueless (and/or lazy) about cooking that he can’t even fry water, would be able (and willing) to prepare it. Is this true? (And what about the clean-up? Lasagne would seem to produce messy cookware and plates needing to be cleaned!) Can anybody comment on this? If lasagne is, in fact, sufficiently simple and easy that even the most inert couch potato would cook it, then can someone recommend some recipes or post some links? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/2 "2015-08-05T02:18:46Z")
Of course you can’t fry water! You have to poach it! :d&r: ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/3 "2015-08-05T02:19:42Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Of course you can’t fry water! You have to poach it! > > :d&r: Too much prep time. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/4 "2015-08-05T02:23:28Z")
It doesn’t take great skill but it can be a little messy. However, you can cook it in a foil pan. You can easily find foil pans the right size because they’re called ‘lasagna pans’. You can use bottled sauce and save a pot, knife, cutting board, and lots of ingredients. If you can get fresh pasta you don’t need to really cook it, just soak it in hot water before constructing the lasagna. Make several at once and you can freeze some. As you cut corners you lose quality, but if you’re attempting to live for days at a time from one large dish it’s a pretty good one to pick. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/5 "2015-08-05T02:25:01Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Of course you can’t fry water! You have to poach it! > > :d&r: I bake mine, it’s healthier that way. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/6 "2015-08-05T02:25:57Z")
I always assumed he was eating Stouffer’s. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/7 "2015-08-05T02:35:40Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > I always assumed he was eating Stouffer’s. You mean Jon Arbuckle or me? As a matter of fact, I’m was eating an On-Cor frozen heat-and-eat lasagne as I typed the OP, and I’m just eating the last bite now. I would have to assume that home-made is less expensive, and if done on a regular basis, _much_ less expensive in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/8 "2015-08-05T02:37:21Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I bake mine, it’s healthier that way. I have mine raw, like nature intended. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/9 "2015-08-05T02:38:29Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > You mean Jon Arbuckle or me? Jon Arbuckle’s. I just always assumed he was not making it himself, but eating a frozen one. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/10 "2015-08-05T02:55:17Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > I have mine raw, like nature intended. That’s a good way to get Cryptosporidium, you might as well be hacking chunks of beef right off the cow and throwing it on bread with unwashed Mexican romaine. I hope you at least refrigerate your leftover water. ---
**Author:** ![XaMcQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/f9ae1b/32.png) [@XaMcQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XaMcQ)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/11 "2015-08-05T02:58:30Z")
Lasagna can be simple or hard depending on how fussy you are about it. If you are willing to buy a can of sauce, a box of noodles, pre-shredded cheeses, and a tub of either cottage or ricotta cheese, you can put a big pan of it together in about half an hour. Or you could make your own sauce, your own pasta, etc. Here’s the very simple recipe I use. 1 jar your favorite spaghetti sauce 1 box lasagna pasta 1 tub cottage cheese 1 larger pkg Sargento shredded 4 cheese Italian 1lb breakfast sausage, Jimmy Dean’s Sage is my fave, but any will do. Salt and olive oil First, get a very large pot of water boiling, and add about a tablespoon of salt to it. While your water is heating, fry up your sausage, stirring continuously till there’s no pink showing, then move the cooked sausage into a bowl lined with paper towels to drain. When your water comes to a boil, put in your pasta, and stir frequently to make sure it does not stick together. Cook them long enough to get limp but no longer. You don’t want them to get mushy. When they are done, drain off most of the water and run some cold water in to stop them from cooking, and add a little olive oil to prevent them from sticking together. Now oil up your lasagna pan. If you skip this step, it will be a bear to clean. Put in some sauce, a layer of noodles, sausage, then a layer of cheese. Repeat, adding the cottage cheese in somewhere in the middle layers, till you run out of noodles, then dump the rest of the sauce and cheese on top. Optionally, you can add sliced black olives, canned mushrooms, spinach, or very thinly sliced squash, zucchini or Japanese. eggplant Bake at 350F for 1/2 hour. Let stand for about ten minutes before serving. Makes about 8 servings. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/12 "2015-08-05T03:23:45Z")
I make lasagne from scratch a couple of times a year. It isn’t necessary to boil the noodles, since they soak up so much of the liquid in the pan when dry. The first time I made the dish, I boiled the noodles first, and it was a real PITA fishing them out of the water limp. Never again! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/13 "2015-08-05T03:31:41Z")
Seven ingredients! OMG, I can’t even count that high! Okay, I’ll bookmark this page. One of these days I’ll get up the ambition and energy to try it! ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/14 "2015-08-05T03:32:21Z")
They have noodles that do not require boiling. That’s what you want to use. Then just layer your sauce and cheese. You can use sauce from a jar, just add some cooked meat and and maybe some sautéed onions and peppers . Then use whatever cheese you like. It’s not too difficult really. It’s easy to change it up too. Use a white sauce and chicken. Throw in a layer of spinach. You can get pretty creative with it. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/15 "2015-08-05T03:49:43Z")
I’d recommend using ricotta instead of cottage cheese, but that’s just me. I have also always used ground beef rather than sausage, but I make so much effort to season it up that I might as well use sausage to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/16 "2015-08-05T04:11:51Z")
I never had the impression that Jon Arbuckle can’t cook. He can’t interact with pretty women without coming off as a total doofus\*, but that would tend to give him a lot of free time in which to develop skills such as cooking, and various artsy-craftsy pursuits. \*Although I understand that he has successfully entered a social relationship with the hot veterinarian. Not sure if that’s still going on, as I haven’t followed the strip much during the past twenty years. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/17 "2015-08-05T04:37:24Z")
Nope. He’s still seeing Liz. Back in the early days of the strip, he had a roommate named Lyman. Anyone know what happened to him? I always thought he fed the lasagna to Garfield, because after all, it’s Garfield’s favorite food. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/18 "2015-08-05T04:58:40Z")
Lyman, the original owner of Odie was meant to be a foil for Jon to actually talk to. Garfield quickly took on that role and Lyman became purposeless and was summarily disappeared. I’m slightly impressed you remembered, as he was only in the strip for a few months at the very beginning. [A very good lasagna recipe.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12576389#post12576389) ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/19 "2015-08-05T07:47:31Z")
Lasagne can be a lot of work to make from scratch. It’s hardly any work to buy a frozen lasagne and stick it in the oven. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/20 "2015-08-05T08:50:12Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I bake mine, it’s healthier that way. Baking water is a damn sight healthier than trying to deep-fry it, that’s for sure. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030.md?page=2)