# Lasagne for clueless bachelors who can't fry water. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2015, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030 "2015-08-05T02:16:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/61 "2015-08-06T20:23:48Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > You can make anything using noodles and call it lasagna. However, it doesn’t come close to what lasagna really tastes like. You could label piss as beer too I guess. Having had lasagna at a family-owned place in Italy, with the express intent of seeing what the real thing is like, I can say that _most_ relatively simple meat/noodle/ricotta type dishes are broadly similar, and at least recognizeable as lasagna. It’s a lot like pizza in that respect, or like comparing Pilsner Urquell to most “Pilsners”. You can tell they’re the same basic style as the original, but most are debased versions of the original, even if they are tasty in their own right. ---
**Author:** ![Richey84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Richey84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richey84)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/62 "2015-08-06T21:34:52Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Nope. He’s still seeing Liz. > > Back in the early days of the strip, he had a roommate named Lyman. Anyone know what happened to him? > > I always thought he fed the lasagna to Garfield, because after all, it’s Garfield’s favorite food. One of my favorite lines from a Garfield strip came from Lyman. Jon asks Lyman something like “what were the names of your cats when you were a kid?” Lyman: Well, let’s see: There was ‘Cat,’ ‘Cat,’ ‘Cat,’ and ‘Cat.’ Jon: You didn’t give them names? Lyman: What’s the point of naming something that doesn’t come when you call it? 9-year-old me obviously thought that was brilliant because to this day every cat I’ve ever lived with, including the two I own now, I always just call “Cat.” ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/63 "2015-08-07T02:31:18Z")
Just saw a recipe for a “quick lasagna” that used the fresh cheese ravioli you can get at the store instead of lasagna noodles, layers, etc. - thought it was kind of interesting and I’m thinking about trying it - my family lasagna recipe just makes too damn much of it! ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/64 "2015-08-07T04:13:50Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Just saw a recipe for a “quick lasagna” that used the fresh cheese ravioli you can get at the store instead of lasagna noodles, layers, etc. - thought it was kind of interesting and I’m thinking about trying it - my family lasagna recipe just makes too damn much of it! I tried that once. I found that it wasn’t that much quicker, it _was_ that much more expensive, and I preferred real lasagna. But it does work. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/65 "2015-08-07T22:49:21Z")
It’s fair season here in the Midwest, and this title just made me think of all the weird things that are being deep-fried right now. Red Velvet Oreos? Really? ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/66 "2015-08-08T02:38:37Z")
> [@amarinth](#): > > I tried that once. I found that it wasn’t that much quicker, it _was_ that much more expensive, and I preferred real lasagna. > > But it does work. Thanks - that’s one recipe I’m not going to bother with! Appreciate the heads up! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/67 "2015-08-08T02:47:42Z")
I love On-Cor frozen lasagna, I add a little more sauce and cheese, maybe a side of fried Italian sausage on the side. It’s less than $5 and lasts me 2-3 days. Aldi makes a decent frozen lasagna, too. Get a little box of no-boil lasagna noodles. A big jar of sauce, layer with ricotta cheese (not cottage cheese, ewww!), mozzarella, in a foil pan - the recipe is on the box, it’s not hard. cover with foil, remove the last 10 minutes so the cheese looks yummy. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/68 "2015-08-08T08:30:43Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > It’s fair season here in the Midwest, and this title just made me think of all the weird things that are being deep-fried right now. > > Red Velvet Oreos? Really? I was at a fair once where they were deep-frying dry ice. It tasted sublime. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/69 "2015-08-08T12:10:13Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > I was at a fair once where they were deep-frying dry ice. > > It tasted sublime. 😃 What a gas! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/70 "2015-08-08T18:32:47Z")
Okay, I just got back to this thread and all caught up reading it. Thanks, everybody, for all the recipes and instructions. (And more specifically, for the _simple_ ones. (But thanks anyway for your trouble, **Smapti** and **araminty** :o ) ) I’m more likely to go with something like **Aquadementia** ’s recipe (which was: get a few ingredients together, with macaroni instead of noodles, pour all into pan and stir then bake). That’s probably more compatible with my attention span. Or else, just try that big Stouffer’s. I see several ideas here I might get myself enthused enough to try, and also in that older thread that somebody linked. I’ve got this thread bookmarked now. Okay, I just assumed that Jon eats lasagna too. I assumed that he cooks the simplest possible dishes that both he and Garfield eat. And I thought the _primary_ dish in Garfield’s diet was garden flowers. ---
**Author:** ![turner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@turner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turner)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/71 "2015-08-08T22:49:38Z")
Use the right ingredients and its simple and delicious. You can do it two ways either in a pan or as rolls. Rolls are easier to wrap and freeze which is one of the best things about lasagne, it holds well in the freezer. Here’s my version. It looks like a lot of steps, but it’s not Mix: 1 lb Ricotta (don’t use cottage cheese) 5 oz (half a package) spinach squeezed of all moisture 3/4 cup of Parmesean 2 eggs (Don’t forget the eggs or your filling will be runny) Healthy amount of salt and pepper If you want to be fancy, a couple of dashes of nutmeg are good, but you can skip it - Boil the noodles about 3 at a time but undercook them–maybe 3-4 minutes until pliable–immediately cool in ice water. - Fry up about a pound of sweet Italian sausage out of its casing. When brown, pour in about half a jar of spaghetti sauce. It should be meat coated in sauce, not sauce with meat in it. For a pan lasagne, get a big pan, at least 14X9X3 - Splash some sauce in the bottom of the pan so the bottom is very lightly covered put down a layer of noodles (if any have broken or torn, I save those for the middle layer) - Put the cheese mixture down first, then cover with a layer of Mozzarella–this will give your lasagne some structure - Put a layer of sauce down, then another layer of noodles - Put the meat mixture down, sprinkle again with Mozz - Put another layer of noodles, then a layer of sauce - Top with more mozz, cover with foil then bake in a 350 oven for about 45 minutes. - Uncover and bake for about 15 minutes more and you’re done. For rolls, the only difference is the assembly - Lay out a noodle - Cover about 2/3 with cheese mixture (1/3 of the noodle is naked)–all the way to the edges - Put a thin line of the sauce/meat mixture down the center of the cheese mixture (away from the edges) - Sprinkle with Mozz - Fold the naked 1/3 noodle over the mixture, then fold that over the remaining third so you get three layers (some people try to roll these tight like a jelly roll–when it cooks, things expand and crap leaks out all over) - Spray a sheet pan with PAM, lay these on the sheet pan, freeze solid, then wrap in foil or plastic wrap - When you want to eat, thaw one out, put a little sauce in the bottom of a microwavable dish, put the lasagne on top and then more sauce on top. Cover and mic at 50% power for about 4-5 (if you’re too lazy to thaw, cook at 30% power for about 2 minutes then 4-5 at 50%) minutes or until the center is hot (stick the center with a fork, pull it out and touch it to you lips) Perfect bachelor meal. This is also really good with just two layers of cheese (no meat), but then you need the nutmeg for a little extra flavor. ---
**Author:** ![boffking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@boffking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boffking)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/72 "2015-08-09T19:47:58Z")
It’s physically impossible to fry water. It would all just boil away. Probably splatter oil everywhere and make a huge mess too. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2015, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/73 "2015-08-09T20:14:28Z")
> [@boffking](#): > > It’s physically impossible to fry water. It would all just boil away. Probably splatter oil everywhere and make a huge mess too. Thank you for explaining this. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/74 "2015-08-10T06:34:29Z")
For those who use jar sauces, where do you find one that isn’t so sweet it seems like it could easily go on your dessert? I hate most pre-made tomato-based pasta sauces for being way too sweet. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030/75 "2015-08-10T07:22:00Z")
> [@boffking](#): > > It’s physically impossible to fry water. It would all just boil away. Probably splatter oil everywhere and make a huge mess too. Or start a fire, if you used enough oil and enough water, but I think everyone in this thread already knew that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lasagne-for-clueless-bachelors-who-cant-fry-water/727030.md?page=3)