# Last day of work today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063 "2017-12-22T17:47:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2017, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/21 "2017-12-24T03:05:22Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > FWIW, there are a lot worse things than getting hammered the day you’re laid off. > > I would not like for you to drive drunk, that is dangerous to yourself and others, but drinking it and of itself, as long as it isn’t a habitual response to unhappiness, is fine. > > You aren’t immature and you aren’t unworthy of being a partner or parent. I’m guessing it’s depression feeding you that pack of lies. > > Being married to me comes with a host of unhappy features because I am chronically ill, both mentally and physically. Yet someone decided to do it anyway and _he really adamantly thinks I’m worth it_. And I know a ton of people with chronic health conditions who make excellent parents. If you had a habit of treating people like shit, then we’d have a problem, but you don’t, and there is nothing about illness or being laid off that makes you unworthy of a family of your own. I’ve never driven drunk in the 20 years I’ve been able to drink alcohol, so that isn’t a risk (I made a post about drunk driving, but that was just about crime statistics). Normally I know my limits but on Friday I figured why not drink as much as possible. Now I know why I hate that, euphoria rapidly turns into dysphoria when BAC gets to 0.15 or so. I don’t recall writing these posts yesterday, and now I’m reading them over. Man, I had no idea how badly I want kids of my own. But its not just the money. I’m pushing 40, and if I had a kid now I’d be almost retired by the time they were graduating from college. I’ve got health problems and I don’t trust myself to be held together long enough to raise them. It is what it is. Like I said, I have nieces and nephews who are almost as good. I guess deep down inside I feel like if I wanted kids, I should’ve had them in my mid 20s (but for various reasons that wasn’t possible). ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/22 "2017-12-24T21:30:11Z")
I’m childless and coming up on age 60. Why am I childless? Because at the critical points in my life when kids were possible they weren’t practical and when they were practical they weren’t possible. Job security having a bunch to do with it. In the end I learned on my own the truth that if I’d really wanted them that badly they’d have come, practicalities or no. The evidence shows I didn’t want them that badly. I’ve totally made peace with that reality now. A wise Doper told me the same many years later. As to layoffs. I’ve been a mid-career layoff from a job that generally never has mid-career layoffs. Where mid-career hires are rare. Not a good place to be. As I rode the lightrail home for the last time after turning in my keys, badges, etc., I was feeling pretty low. I lived in a gentrified enclave amongst the decaying inner-ring 1920s suburbs full of the working poor and (further away) the non-working poor. So we saw all sorts on the train and on the streets of our neighborhood. I got off the train and there on the platform was a 15-ish yo black kid waiting to get on the train. His clothes were worn. He didn’t look real bright. He had no left leg and was leaning on well-worn crutches that were several inches too short for his height. It was then I realized my problems were nothing. I think of that young man often. He’d be 30ish now if he’s still alive. It sucks big time to lose a job. It sucks bigger time to recognize that some future life path you’d hoped to take has been foreclosed by events and the simple passage of time. Over in another recent thread I said that “Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.” It’s sure not my invention, but it is words to live by. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2017, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/23 "2017-12-25T10:21:09Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Over in another recent thread I said that “Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.” It’s sure not my invention, but it is words to live by. John Lennon, in “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)” from the album “Double Fantasy”. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Lt3IOdDE5iA/maxresdefault.jpg "BEAUTIFUL BOY (DARLING BOY). (Ultimate Mix, 2020) - John Lennon (official music video HD)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt3IOdDE5iA) Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2017, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/24 "2017-12-26T17:50:21Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I actually like my coworkers quite a bit. It is just that a new CEO came into the company and set a goal of eliminating at least 10% of the workforce. A lot of the old timers think this plan is going to blow up in the face of the executives, because a lot of people being pushed out (not just me) had developed pretty advanced skills at what they did. A lot of human capital was pushed out with early retirement options. > > In my department there used to be 5 of us starting in January of 2017. Come January 2018, there is only 1. Three of us were laid off, one was pushed into early retirement. > > In a way I feel bad for the 1 guy left behind who has to do 5 people’s jobs. Hey Wesley, Don’t feel bad about being laid off. Been there dozens of times in the IT field. Companies change hands at times, and being “redundant” in your own field of expertise can hit a blow to ones pride and joy. As an aside, I took early retirement just so I could spend time here on the SDMB and not take contract jobs with the (USA) government. (Looking at you ATT and DOD) I hope you spent your hard earned dollars on a decent bottle of booze. I know I did when it first happened to me. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/25 "2017-12-26T18:36:14Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Sorry you’re hitting a rough spot. Just want to point out that not every wife needs to be “supported” in any one particular way. You could always find a little lady to support YOU! (Or, complement you…) Seriously. I will be 50 this year and happily partnered for the past 10+ years (married for 8) and have never been supported by a man as an adult. And it’s fine that way. In fact, not that either of us has an insanely high-paying job, but I have been the higher earner for most of that. And it’s entirely possible to have a happy and stable marriage without having kids. I can certainly understand being bummed at being laid off, but the rest of it seems like a bit of overkill. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/26 "2017-12-27T00:52:00Z")
So sorry to hear about the layoff, especially at this time of year. Couple of things to consider Lots of what happens to us is not due to us. Some introspection is good but at a certain point it can freeze us. When they’re a little older, your nieces and nephews will need a caring adult who is not their parent in their lives. I’ve got many calls of the “I need some help but you can’t tell my parents!” variety. If I had kids, I could not be there for them in the same way, and I think it has enriched all of our lives. Nieces and nephew probably won’t wreck your car. Hope you can find some peace soon. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/27 "2017-12-27T16:47:45Z")
Reading these replies has been enlightening. I agree, I am way too hard on myself, expect too much from myself and assume others expect too much from me too. I hope I can figure out ways to not do that in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2017, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/28 "2017-12-27T17:16:47Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Reading these replies has been enlightening. I agree, I am way too hard on myself, expect too much from myself and assume others expect too much from me too. > > I hope I can figure out ways to not do that in the future. I know you’re feeling old, but I’m almost 35 and still on the adoption waiting list. I could be 38 when it finally happens. I know people who thought they would never have a partner or children who found it when they were least expecting it. Life can turn on a dime. It’s not unusual to be down on yourself in the aftermath of a major life event like losing a job. I hope things normalize for you soon. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2017, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/29 "2017-12-28T01:55:04Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’m childless and coming up on age 60. > > Why am I childless? Because at the critical points in my life when kids were possible they weren’t practical and when they were practical they weren’t possible. Job security having a bunch to do with it. > > In the end I learned on my own the truth that if I’d really wanted them that badly they’d have come, practicalities or no. The evidence shows I didn’t want them that badly. **I’ve totally made peace with that reality now.** I haven’t yet made peace with that reality; the above brought me a step closer to it, though. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2017, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063/30 "2017-12-29T02:13:37Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > I haven’t yet made peace with that reality; the above brought me a step closer to it, though. > > Thanks. I’m the same. If I ‘really’ wanted kids, I would’ve had them. Several years ago I had a FWB who wanted to have kids with me. I responded by timing her menstrual cycle so I never slept with her during her fertile period. So yeah, same boat. I think I’m more upset that the option is rapidly being taken off the table. But as I said, I get about 80% of the benefits of being a parent by being an uncle, but none of the obligations (which I fear I wouldn’t be able to fulfill). > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I know you’re feeling old, but I’m almost 35 and still on the adoption waiting list. I could be 38 when it finally happens. I know people who thought they would never have a partner or children who found it when they were least expecting it. Life can turn on a dime. > > It’s not unusual to be down on yourself in the aftermath of a major life event like losing a job. I hope things normalize for you soon. Thanks. Its more the uncertainty. Do I move to live near my brother, or stay where I’m at. Things like that. Also I’ve always been terrible at job hunting and interviews. I’m a good employee (if anything, I’d rate myself above average at being an employee). But I’m below average at getting hired. On an unrelated note, how is the epilepsy and does it affect your ability to adopt? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-day-of-work-today/805063.md?page=1)