# Last night I accidentally gave my cat a Happy Ending **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878 "2002-07-19T21:25:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/21 "2002-07-20T07:19:36Z")
_DEAD_ Man the SD is funny tonite. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/22 "2002-07-20T09:25:03Z")
Cite? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/23 "2002-07-20T12:28:48Z")
Ever heard of FIDS!!! ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/24 "2002-07-20T13:51:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Ever heard of FIDS!!! \*\* [http://www.afn.org/~afn10694/](http://www.afn.org/~afn10694/) Do you really think getting a bird will help? 🙂 No really, what are FIDS? ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/25 "2002-07-20T13:59:25Z")
I just think this needs to be seen once again in this thread: > [@](#): > > ~~gack . . . thigh kittens.~~ b. ---
**Author:** ![WV\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/26 "2002-07-20T14:17:06Z")
Remember the days when a cat would buy you dinner before humping your leg? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/27 "2002-07-20T14:34:16Z")
We’ve owned lots of male dogs throughout the years, so I (unfortunately) know how it feels to have your leg unwittingly turn into a humpy toy. However, NONE of them have ever experienced an, er, happy ending. Gosh, do you think it was because they didn’t find me attractive enough? ---
**Author:** ![Leifsmama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a698b9/32.png) [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/28 "2002-07-20T14:45:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WV\_Woman \* > \*\*Remember the days when a cat would buy you dinner before humping your leg? \*\* Or at least a drink. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/29 "2002-07-20T16:10:38Z")
But think of how good the cat must feel! ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/30 "2002-07-20T16:23:57Z")
Had this happened to me you would have discovered that cats can indeed fly. Yech. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/31 "2002-07-20T16:26:05Z")
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! \ …HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!.. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/32 "2002-07-20T16:37:50Z")
Geez, guys, I opened this thread thinking you’d gotten your Happy Ending Sundae from Friendly’s to-go last night and left it where the cat could get into it. Luckily, my neutered male cats only hump each other, and about 6-months or so after the neutering they stopped leaving wet spots on each other. Now it’s just dry humping. We keep reminding them that this homosexual incest stuff grosses us out, but they don’t seem to care. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/33 "2002-07-20T17:33:49Z")
Feline Immunodeficiency Syndrome. It’s rather similar to human AIDS, which is why cats are often used to study it. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/34 "2002-07-20T17:43:59Z")
BAD MATT! BAD, BAD MATT! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ILENSER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@ILENSER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILENSER)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/35 "2002-07-20T20:06:50Z")
Purrrrrrrrr Got a cigarette? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/36 "2002-07-20T20:44:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Osiris \* > \*\*I think it’s time for a squirt gun. \*\* But I thought squirting _is_ the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/37 "2002-07-20T21:04:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruffian \* > \*\*HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! > > \ > > …HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!.. \*\* And I might add… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! teeheehee -Dirty ---
**Author:** ![Sivalensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Sivalensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sivalensis)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/38 "2002-07-21T02:01:58Z")
when i picked up a male kitty once i accidentally touched him…that freaked me out enough! i can’t imagine actually having him hump me never mind spray! my sympathies deskmonkey! ---
**Author:** ![Peta\_Tzunami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@Peta\_Tzunami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peta_Tzunami)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/39 "2002-07-21T02:15:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Feline Immunodeficiency Syndrome. It’s rather similar to human AIDS, which is why cats are often used to study it. \*\* Feline Immunodeficiency Virus is \*\* FIV\*\* (in the same family with FeLV); I’ve never heard it called FIDS. Not sure what your point was regarding it (were you joking?) since (a) it is not transmittable to humans and (b) most research I’ve read indicates that communication or transmission of the virus between cats results mainly through biting not sexual conduct. [Cite](http://web.vet.cornell.edu/Public/FHC/fiv.html). How about some [Piddle Pants](http://www.petsmart.com/products/product_21063.shtml) would help. (You must see them to believe them…) ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878/40 "2002-07-21T03:55:45Z")
Yech. I had a kitten fart in my face once, but I’ve never been, err, taken by anything, much less a cat. This thread is sick beyond my mere grasp of the English language’s ability to describe. Two male cats were once members of the house of Lodrain, and those two male cats were brothers. And yes, they engaged in err, behavior of an indecent nature. At the time, we also had one female cat, neutered. The few times the males would approach her always resulted in some injury of some sort, female being the one dishing out the punishment, and the males running off. Liberated woman - love that cat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-accidentally-gave-my-cat-a-happy-ending/119878.md?page=3)