# Last night I got punched in the Jaw. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279 "2009-04-24T23:12:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/41 "2009-04-25T19:21:14Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > You were there with a friend so why isn’t your friend a witness? Why wasn’t the tape viewed right there with the cop? What takes a few days? What was consistent about their story and not yours? Are they saying you attacked them or something? > > I sure hope you get to view the tape but something tells me the tape is already missing. > > If not, press charges, and file a complaint against the cop. Forget about suing the guy though. Unless you’re rich, you probably aren’t going to find a lawyer bored enough to take a case where he’s most likely not going to make a dime. The cop said the tape was wasn’t able to be removed and viewed from the restaurants security for a few days. I don’t understand why either. I was a little shaken up and didn’t ask all the best questions. Suing is out of the question. Not worth the effort, and I’m not really a vengeful person anyways. As for my friend. Essentially there was the lobby and the entrance to the restaurant as two separate rooms. We walked past the dispute and then I walked back. I thought he came with me but didn’t come in the room so he wasn’t a direct witness. My friend is also not to keen to get involved with things like this. And I don’t know what he meant by “inconsistent”. I really don’t. Maybe he meant that their two stories matched and my story was different. I only heard one of their stories and she left out the fact that I was punched. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2009, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/42 "2009-04-25T23:24:11Z")
Something is fishy if the cop is telling you to drop it, due to “inconsistency” I’d view the tape and pursue the issue. You were assaulted, for crying out loud! But that’s just me, and not a judgement on anyone who wouldn’t. Upthread there was a quote from Elie Weisel about taking sides. I read a fictional quote onetime that still bears true, in which the speaker said _“Take sides! Always take sides! You may sometimes be wrong, but the person who doesn’t take sides is always wrong.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/43 "2009-04-26T00:01:46Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Upthread there was a quote from Elie Weisel about taking sides. I read a fictional quote onetime that still bears true, in which the speaker said _“Take sides! Always take sides! You may sometimes be wrong, but the person who doesn’t take sides is always wrong.”_ John Joseph Bonforte, Supreme Minister of the Solar Empire, in Heinlein’s [Double Star](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Star). ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/44 "2009-04-26T02:34:26Z")
**Baker** , I’m trying to remember - I thought that quotation ended “the man who doesn’t take sides is never right” - a slight difference? but it’s been years since I read that book, so I may well be misremembering… ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/45 "2009-04-26T02:55:24Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > It’s just not your place nor your responsibility to break up strangers fighting in a building you don’t own. You are not a hero, and you are not going to fix the world. Having been on the other side of the situation twice in my life - being beaten while people walked by\* - I think the OP did the right thing. Almost. Staying out of arm’s reach would be better. Calling the police first might have been better, too. Still, sometimes someone has to do something. \*Yes, I know the OP did NOT see the woman struck, and, no, I was not in an abusive relationship, I was mugged. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/46 "2009-04-26T03:21:46Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > **Baker** , I’m trying to remember - I thought that quotation ended “the man who doesn’t take sides is never right” - a slight difference? but it’s been years since I read that book, so I may well be misremembering… I was quoting from memory too, so I went and looked it up. _Or again: “Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong–but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong! Heaven save us from poltroons who fear to make a choice. Let us stand up and be counted.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/47 "2009-04-26T03:33:20Z")
thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/48 "2009-04-26T03:34:34Z")
Aren’t you glad you’re not a [Ballchinian](http://www.disclose.tv/files/photos/84117275be999ffL.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/49 "2009-04-26T15:53:16Z")
**Quasi** , you done good. That’s what integrity is - you do the right thing even when it’s not easy. And my $0.02 worth - you got video? Better than witnesses. File a complaint against him and have his ass arrested. In the long run, he might only get a day or two in the jug, but it will cost him a bucket of money for fines, lawyer, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/50 "2009-04-27T01:22:14Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > As for criminal charges, no prosecutor with a desk stacked high with vehicular manslaughter, child molestation, armed robbery, abduction, rape, and murder cases is going to waste more than two minutes pleading this thing down to d.p. or some similarly meaningless misdemeanor. The guy who’s looking at vehicular manslaughter, child molestation, armed robbery, abduction, rape, and murder cases, is not the same guy who’s going to be looking at **Quasimodal’s** simple assault. Our guy is the guy whose desk is stacked high with criminal mischief, simple assaults, and DUIs. He should take this situation as seriously as he takes the rest. And even if it gets pled down – so what? Just because it’s not the return of Jack the Ripper doesn’t mean that we should allow strangers to sock us in the jaw without consequences. A misdemeanor prosecutor to some extent cares about what his or her victims care about; if this is important to **Quasimodal** , and he makes that known, it might mean something to the prosecutor as well. For all we know this is the guy’s fourth simple assault and he would not be looking at a misdemeanor anyway. > [@](#): > > And if he did bring it into court the judge would probably toss the prosecutor a contempt fine for wasting the court’s time. No, the prosecutor’s office decides what charges to bring. As long as there is a good-faith basis for the charge – and with the event caught on tape, how could there not be? – there is no basis for any judicial action against the prosecutor. And punishing simple assaults is not a “waste of the court’s time.” We all have the expectation that we live in a civilized society where we can go about our daily lives without fear someone will assault us. One way to reinforce that is to prosecute cases just like this – not only because it makes the statement that you can’t punch strangers, but because it also makes the statement that you can’t beat your girlfriend, or threaten to beat your girlfriend, in public without people speaking up about it. And the subtext of domestic violence may well have some weight and resonance to a prosecutor as well. > [@](#): > > The criminal justice system does not exist to protect individuals and extract vengence for the wronged; it exists to preserve the peace, and is mostly indifferent to the minor indignities suffered in everyday life. Of course the criminal justice system exists to protect individuals, and while it does not trouble itself with vengeance for the wronged, it is and by every measure should be about _justice_ for the wronged. Just because you found it unresponsive and ultimately unjust, does not mean that **Quasimodal** or anyone else, should tolerate being assaulted under the assumption that he or she can expect no better, and deserves no better. **Quasimodal** , IMO you stood up when you intervened on behalf of the woman, and by pursuing it, you will stand up for yourself. Why would you allow yourself to be treated worse than you would have allowed her to be? I’m not overstating, as if you have a _duty_ to pursue it or something, and maybe if and when it becomes too big of a PITA in terms of time and attention, you’ll decide it’s best to let it go. But I surely wouldn’t let it go just because I thought it was automatically a waste of my time to speak up for myself and refuse to tolerate an assault. It very well may _not_ be a waste of your time. Maybe at the end the day the guy only gets a slap on the wrist, but that will be a slap you helped administer, and it will be on his record when the next guy he punches comes in. You will be, if nothing else, a “prior.” Do that for the next guy who tries to stop him from beating his girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/51 "2009-04-27T01:53:24Z")
I say at least view the tape, and if you have good video, have the police lay charges. Meanwhile, write everything down about the encounter while it’s still fresh in your mind. You DON’T get to punch somebody in the jaw for no good reason without consequences. And remember in the future to stay out of swinging distance - there’s a good samaritan story here in Calgary that happened a month or two ago where the guy got beaten into unconsciousness trying to help someone - the police always advise calling them and not getting yourself hurt. I’ve called the police a couple of times when I heard a woman getting beaten - I’ve never for a second regretted doing that. ---
**Author:** ![Fantome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Fantome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fantome)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/52 "2009-04-27T04:41:34Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > As for criminal charges, no prosecutor with a desk stacked high with vehicular manslaughter, child molestation, armed robbery, abduction, rape, and murder cases is going to waste more than two minutes pleading this thing down to d.p. or some similarly meaningless misdemeanor. And if he did bring it into court the judge would probably toss the prosecutor a contempt fine for wasting the court’s time. You really believe a judge would hold a prosecutor with contempt for not letting someone get away with punching someone in the jaw? > [@](#): > > Christ, when someone tried to mug me at gunpoint he got to walk out of the hospital r.o.r., despite priors and a couple of standing bench warrants in another jurisdiction. I don’t know where you live, but most of us live in a place where you don’t walk away the same night as you got caught committing a crime with a firearm. > [@](#): > > This guy isn’t going to get thirty days in the hoosgow and have his forehead branded for tossing a punch, however unprovoked. The criminal justice system does not exist to protect individuals and extract vengence for the wronged; it exists to preserve the peace, and is mostly indifferent to the minor indignities suffered in everyday life. Getting punched in the jaw is an every day _minor_ indignity? You should be ashamed of yourself for attempting to downplay this and convince the OP that he should let it go for the ridiculous reasons you gave. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/53 "2009-04-27T07:52:33Z")
i think that you were a jerk, and you got a tenth of what was coming to you. What on earth were you thinking??? “If the situation becomes violent, I’m calling the police!” What a stud. Why didn’t you go all the way? Arrest him in advance of the assault? Threaten him with testifying against him in case he murdered her? Telling him that if he married her, and then got rich and was dating Amber Frye, and she turned up missing, that you would testify against him in court??? That probably would have saved her life, if he decided to become violent in the future…and you failed her. Dude, if I had \*seen \*what you did, and I had been that cop, I’d have pistol whipped you. Also, the guy was in a tense situation, and didn’t need your interference. Mr. Big Arbitrator of justice! You don’t know what transpired to get them into that situation…She could have just told him that just because he had sex with her friend, that she slept with his boss, and was pregnant-he didn’t bat an eyelid, she attacked him, and he dodged her, and she, drunk, fell down. The Great One comes by, and decides to interfere, and let the chick know that he’s in charge, and the situation is under control, and you are some Clark Kent, going around doing great deeds of wonder. You tried to exercise some imagined power that you had…well, you paid the price of power, and that was responsibility. Enjoy it! ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/54 "2009-04-27T12:36:32Z")
The cynic in me cant help but wonder if you were trying to impress the girl as a means of access to her underpants. One thing that I’ve learned is to never ever get involved in a couples argument,neither of them will thank you as you have found to your cost. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/55 "2009-04-27T13:05:06Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > I didn’t hit him and he hit me first. That would pretty much put me in the right correct? I never hit him. Is it worth pursuing you think? I mean it’s gonna be a hassle in my already busy life, and I already have gotten a sore jaw for my trouble. Maybe people get what they deserve? I don’t know…it seems like it’s something she has to deal with. It may not amount to much, but there’s a little satisfaction to be gained by dragging his ass to court. It’s a huge inconvenience and he can’t blow it off. You just need to decide if his inconvenience is worth yours. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/56 "2009-04-27T13:26:47Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Because the word “Jaw” was capitalized in the OP’s title, I totally thought it said “Last night I got punched in the Jew.” I’ve been studying myself naked in the mirror for an hour now and I can’t find my Jew. Which bit is it again? ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/57 "2009-04-27T18:22:30Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > No - it’s the job of law enforcement to quell disputes like this, not the job of random passersby. I just don’t understand the mindset of people who want to be these great magnanimous heroes, when in reality all they get is punched in the mouth. By the OP’s own account, the woman on whose account he got himself involved in this mess was not at all grateful for his intervention. No, the job of law enforcement is to document, cite or arrest and collect evidence when a crime has been committed. The Supreme Court has repeatedly ruled officers have no duty or obligation to prevent a crime or to stop a crime in progress. It’s the fact that so many people are not willing to risk their own well-being to help others that allow abusers to thrive. Whether there’s a legal obligation to render aid or not, there is certainly a moral one. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/58 "2009-04-27T20:09:08Z")
I would have called the cops. [Nathan Clarke](http://www.nytimes.com/1996/04/25/us/denver-lawyer-suspect-in-killing-of-his-wife-commits-suicide.html?sec=health) was a friend of mine. In 1996 he came to the aid of a woman in a parking garage who was physically fighting with her husband. The abuser killed both of them (his wife and my friend). I say good on you and good on my friend for doing the right thing, but trying to intervene from a distance and proactively calling the cops would have been better. Now, after the fact, I would definitely view the tape and press charges if the evidence is there. I would not let anyone get away with this. ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/59 "2009-04-27T22:19:13Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Because the word “Jaw” was capitalized in the OP’s title, I totally thought it said “Last night I got punched in the Jew.” Damn it, beaten to it! I thought this as well! ---
**Author:** ![Thalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@Thalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thalion)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279/60 "2009-04-28T06:26:22Z")
Wow, I am really disappointed with several posters in this thread. You may choose not to get involved, but attacking **Quasimodal** for doing so? WTF? **Stranger on a Train** , I’ve always admired how much you know about so many different topics, but this certainly isn’t one of them. You obviously don’t know how a prosecutor’s office is organized, nor much about criminal court (charging a prosecutor with contempt for filing an assault case? Huh?). You obviously had a bad experience with a criminal case, but that doesn’t mean that is how it works most of the time. **Quasimodal** , I think you were indeed heroic. You saw someone in need and you took a personal risk by stepping in. While it might not have been completely wise (after all, you should have been prepared to fight the guy if you intervened, and the guy could well have been armed), you did it anyway. That’s damned impressive in today’s world! If I were the officer on that call, I would have been shaking your hand. [You became a sheepdog in that moment.](http://www.gleamingedge.com/mirrors/onsheepwolvesandsheepdogs.html) I strongly encourage you to view the tape and press charges. I can pretty much guarantee this isn’t this jerk’s first offense, nor will it be his last. Adding one more prior to his record is a good thing. What will happen depends a lot on jurisdiction. I can guarantee that if that happened in my city, even without priors this guy would be looking at a minimum of a week in jail for this. My judge would hammer him! That probably won’t happen where you are, but you can always hope. Even if it does get reduced, he still pays a price for what he did. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-night-i-got-punched-in-the-jaw/494279.md?page=4)