# Last rites **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2011, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523 "2011-12-17T12:53:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/41 "2011-12-18T01:54:54Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Unless you have a big time medical fetish, I really doubt you’re going to get it up while in a hospital bed, with tubes running everywhere, and knowing you’ve got minutes to live. That probably depends on what’s in the tubes… ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/42 "2011-12-18T02:18:58Z")
I’ll take door number 3 Alex: let Jesus in. I’d totally do the Messiah. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/43 "2011-12-18T02:59:27Z")
> [@Bonematter](#): > > Ok so Your on your death bed the doctors say you only have minutes left to live, you’ve been an atheist all your life. > The doctor says your permitted one vistor your only choices are man who says hes Christ and wants to pray with you or another visitor who says they want to pleasure you beyond your wildest dreams and most sensual fantasies for the remaining minutes of your life. Who do you chose, why? Since I’d be dying, “pleasure beyond my wildest dreams” would probably be some really, REALLY good drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/44 "2011-12-18T03:07:51Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Since I’d be dying, “pleasure beyond my wildest dreams” would probably be some really, REALLY good drugs. Opiate massive, huh? ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/45 "2011-12-18T03:17:59Z")
A man who says he’s Christ and wants to pray with me or the promise of sensual pleasure by someone willing to try to do what it takes? Uh yeah, not a hard choice. Jesus can go pray with someone who would appreciate that, I’ll take Mr. Happy and spend my remaining minutes being physically comforted. I can not imagine taking any comfort from prayer, even from Christ himself, though it would probably be pretty cool having the Man himself praying for me. It would be like a direct line to God. Not my cup of tea, but I get how that would be meaningful for people who believe in that. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/46 "2011-12-18T04:54:58Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Sex: good. Religion: bad. The choice: obvious. Wondering if you have ever been in agonizing think your are going to die pain before. There is no kind of sex in the world that could have interested me when I was in that type of pain. How could you possibly enjoy it? Nice thought, A for effort, but and F for execution. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/47 "2011-12-18T05:10:34Z")
Yes, I have been in that type of pain before. Praying is no comfort or release to people who don’t believe. And praying with Jesus isn’t a comfort or release with people who are believers, but who don’t believe in the Christ. My father died this week, and I’m in a lot of emotional pain. Praying isn’t comforting. Having people SAY that they’re praying for him, or me, or my family isn’t comforting. Prayer isn’t comforting for a lot of people. On the other hand, assuming that I can be touched without additional pain, a nice hug or cuddle could help me a lot. And of course Demerol is my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/48 "2011-12-18T05:33:45Z")
Y’know, there’s nothing in the OP that specifies that your dying minutes are in agony, or even discomfort. However it _does_ say the doctor will only allow one visitor. Who the fuck does he think _he_ is? If I’m minutes from death, I’ve no more need for doctors. Get out and make room for more visitors, asshole. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/49 "2011-12-18T06:52:01Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Yes, I have been in that type of pain before. Praying is no comfort or release to people who don’t believe. And praying with Jesus isn’t a comfort or release with people who are believers, but who don’t believe in the Christ. > > My father died this week, and I’m in a lot of emotional pain. Praying isn’t comforting. Having people SAY that they’re praying for him, or me, or my family isn’t comforting. Prayer isn’t comforting for a lot of people. > > On the other hand, assuming that I can be touched without additional pain, a nice hug or cuddle could help me a lot. And of course Demerol is my friend. I am terribly sorry to hear about your father. My condolences. Jesus might not help, but I will bet that sex wouldn’t either. Something about pain (emotional or physical) just makes sex a non-issue. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/50 "2011-12-18T08:18:09Z")
Oh shit, **Lynn** , I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/51 "2011-12-18T13:26:28Z")
Hi **Bonematter** , what would be your answer and why? From your 2 postings here I suspect I know, but there is always room to be surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/52 "2011-12-18T17:08:30Z")
Well, do I have any reason to believe the guy saying he’s Jesus is sincere or plausible? AIUI atheists believe everyone claiming to be God are deluded (if sometimes well meaning). Christians believe \everyone but one\[1] claiming to be God are deluded. So the odds are heavily against. If I do have any reason, I’d prefer to see him out of curiosity. If not, I’d prefer anyone else, so presumably the other one, even assuming I can’t actually have good sex while I’m dying. I’d always prefer a friend or relation to either, I think. [1] Or everyone but three, possibly. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/53 "2011-12-18T17:14:41Z")
Er, what? Have some random stranger be the last person I see? If I can’t die with my loved ones by my side I’ll die alone with my loved ones in my heart. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/54 "2011-12-18T19:22:18Z")
See, this is the thing about Christianity that makes me wonder if they really believe what they’re selling. If I’m dying, and the Christians are right, then my soul is immortal and the big J and I are going to have lots of time to chat after I’m dead. But, of course, if I indulge in mortal sin for my last few minutes on Earth, that won’t happen, because I’ll be in the pit with the rest of the hedonists. Doesn’t apparently matter how I spent the rest of my life – even if I spent my time 24/7 saving orphans from burning buildings and other such good works. But as long as I ask for forgiveness from Jesus \* while I’m still in my body \*, then I could have (except for my crippling lack of social skills) spent the rest of my life indulging in all sorts of vice and excess – I’m still golden. Really, if we truly have immortal souls then the question being asked in the OP has an obvious answer – indulge in physical sensuality while you have a body to appreciate it and then, once you’ve ascended to the realm of the spirit, then devote yourself to spiritual matters. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523/55 "2011-12-18T21:56:50Z")
But for some people, a large part of the enjoyment they expect to find in Heaven is the certainty that other people are going to Hell. They’ll be annoyed if they get to Heaven and find out that God exists and he really does love and forgive everyone - including those who didn’t believe in him during their lifetime - and everyone gets to go to Heaven. For them, it’s not about being good; it’s about being better. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/last-rites/606523.md?page=2)